Relationship Advice Forum AskApril Masini

I Bee-Lieve

i don’t know what to do about him :(!!!!

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  • #1878
    maltagirl
    Member #8,024

    there’s this guy that i really like and we both stay with the same group of friends and i have started to like him around a month ago when i started to stay with a lot of his friends and we used to message eachother and meet whenever we were out which was mostly at night at clubs and this has been going on for over a month and going pretty well like we would stay together all night, he would hold my hand literally sometimes and we used to kiss and spend nights talking and drinking and just having fun. New year’s eve i saw him and i went to say hi and happy new year and he was quite ok but then towards the end of the night, everyone was kind of drunk and he looked as if he was too and so i went up to him and asked him if he was ok and he told me “I don’t feel like you right now”. He used to like this girl a lot and she got back with her boyfriend on New year’s so im guessing that was the reason why he was acting cold to me that night and probably the alcohol didn’t help too much either. Two days after new year’s we were all out at the club and we were with the same group of friends and he saw me but didn’t say a word to me all night but kept looking at me throughout the night. He doesn’t like girls that run after him and he had told me once that he likes me that i’m hard to get. I really want to know if he likes me but I don’t want him to think that i follow him around or that i’m being needy or anything. Please heeelp!! xx 🙁

    #12316
    kai
    Member #56

    Hi, like i mentioned to several other posters — April has told everyone that [u]the welcome area is not to be used as the Q & A advice forum[/u]. [b]it says “DO NOT post your questions” here[/b], when you go to sign up.

    i suggest you [u]delete the questions you posted in the welcome forum[/u] and[u] repost them in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum instead[/u]. [b]you will not get a response to your question, from April in the welcome area.[/b]

    #32091
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

    #51717
    Sally
    Member #382,674

    He liked you. You don’t hold hands, kiss, and spend whole nights together if there’s nothing there. But he also clearly still has feelings tied up with that other girl, and New Year’s probably brought all of that to the surface. When people feel pulled in two directions, they don’t act clean or brave. They pull away instead.

    What he said that night hurt, and it mattered. Even if alcohol and timing played a role, it showed he’s not fully available right now. Him looking at you but not talking to you says he’s conflicted, not that you did something wrong.
    Don’t chase him, but don’t freeze either. Just pull back a little. Let him come to you. If he does, you’ll know. If he doesn’t, that’s your answer too, even if it’s not the one you want.
    You’re not needy. You’re just human.

    #51821
    Serena Vale
    Member #382,699

    Yes, he does like you, but he’s emotionally messy right now. New Year’s triggered old feelings for another girl, alcohol lowered his filter, and instead of handling it maturely, he pulled back and went quiet. That hot-and-cold behavior isn’t about you chasing, it’s about him being unsure.

    The best thing you can do?
    Stop leaning in. Stay friendly, relaxed, and live your life like you’re not waiting on him. If he likes you, he’ll step forward when he feels safe again. If he doesn’t, you’ll save yourself from wasting energy.

    And ask April this:
    “How long should I give someone space before I decide their silence is my answer?”

    Sometimes attraction grows in calm, not in chasing.

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