[mollyhart]

If you have 3 crushes does this mean you are in love, are crushes ‘love’? I go to a massage therapist (i do not have injury, i just like massages) and I feel in love with him and he turns me on a lot and is only the 2nd guy to see me without anything on so i trust him more than anyone ever. It feels like i want to sleep with him when his hands are on my legs *super drools*

When at my best friends (girl) home i love her brother and had a crush on him for 4 years but hes been married but divorcing now.. and he swam when i was in the pool and i intentionally swam into him and he squeezed me and i fainted from the feeling almost! hes my dreamguy i guess you can say but i doubt he sees me as a woman as im much younger and im 10 years younger than his wife(or ex) 😕

And my tennis mixed doubles partner and he cleaned my leg up after a fall, hes 43 but he is more energetic than me lol, hes the first guy to see my favorite lingerie and now i imagine him all nights of the week since he saw the,. like hes seen my secret world 😯

Which one sounds like love or can they all be love? 😐

[Ask April Masini]

I don’t think you know any of these guys well enough to have feelings of love for them, but you are attracted to them, like them and have crushes on them. It sounds like you would do really well to date one, two, three or more of these guys rather than just crush on them, so dial up your datability and buy my book to help you do so: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Think & Date Like A Man will help you get the guy to date you! Read it — it’s a quick and easy read — and live by it!

Then let me know how your dating life is going. 😉

[mollyhart]

[quote=”April Masini”]I don’t think you know any of these guys well enough to have feelings of love for them, but you are attracted to them, like them and have crushes on them. It sounds like you would do really well to date one, two, three or more of these guys rather than just crush on them, so dial up your datability and buy my book to help you do so: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. Think & Date Like A Man will help you get the guy to date you! Read it — it’s a quick and easy read — and live by it!

Then let me know how your dating life is going. 😉[/quote]

I am too shy to ever ask for a date but thanks for that link April 😀

[mollyhart]

I dont wanna date anymore cos my dates always try to make love as soon as we r alone. They think just because i love to cuddle it means they can undo my clothes etc So its awfully scary now to be alone with guys but its fun to be in public places like tennis and school or friends house with guys because i can have a cuddle as much as i like without them trying to go further etc. 🙂

[Tom]

Hi Molly, crushes are always alluring. They are not that easy to be suppressed. That’s why we call them crushes. If they were easy, we would call them something else. It seems from your post that you have set yrself up in some sort of fantasy relationship. I personally don’t assume yr encounters as love because you are yet to find a guy who you have spend some quality time with. Now the day you happen to meet this guy and start spending spending quality time with him and then you start falling in love with him, you will be able to differentiate between love and crushes.

Now coming to immediate situation of yrs, if things get too intense, then i may suggest try to limit the time you spend in their company. At times there may be an immediate urge to fulfill yr desire and in the process to satisfy yr wants you proceed and then you may be rejected by the opposite sex and this certainly can cause u a lot heartache. I know its a bit hard to have a grip on this fantasy but i suggest you tread carefully because butterflies in stomach can sometimes work wonders for you while at times it can cause havoc.

[mollyhart]

[quote=”Tom”]Hi Molly, crushes are always alluring. They are not that easy to be suppressed. That’s why we call them crushes. If they were easy, we would call them something else. It seems from your post that you have set yrself up in some sort of fantasy relationship. I personally don’t assume yr encounters as love because you are yet to find a guy who you have spend some quality time with. Now the day you happen to meet this guy and start spending spending quality time with him and then you start falling in love with him, you will be able to differentiate between love and crushes.

Now coming to immediate situation of yrs, if things get too intense, then i may suggest try to limit the time you spend in their company. At times there may be an immediate urge to fulfill yr desire and in the process to satisfy yr wants you proceed and then you may be rejected by the opposite sex and this certainly can cause u a lot heartache. I know its a bit hard to have a grip on this fantasy but i suggest you tread carefully because butterflies in stomach can sometimes work wonders for you while at times it can cause havoc.[/quote]

For sure its like a fantasy world like at school i was so picturing my therapist all the whole day today and so then i arrived for my massage and it felt like i was about to see a lover lol 😆
Its hard not to imagine guys is all but ill try not to get so obsessed 😳

[Ask April Masini]

Tom gave you some really good advice, and I’d like to add to that. It’s a little disappointing to me that the reason you don’t want to date is because you feel that men want to make love with you after you cuddle with them. You’re giving up your responsibility and power in the relationship if you back off altogether just because these guys want something you’re not ready to give.

All relationships involve people who often want something different than their partner at any given time and compromise is a great tool to promote longevity in dating. If you like to cuddle, and he wants to have sex, that doesn’t mean you have to have sex or even take off your clothes. You clearly have a need for affection and intimacy and I think you’re repressing your sexual needs. I have a feeling you’re using this massage therapy appointment to satisfy your sexual feelings because having this man’s hands on you, even in a professional way, makes you feel sensual and sexual. Keeping the appointments professional prevents you from having to have a real relationship with this guy — or any guy! 😕

I think you’re holding yourself back from real intimacy — which has nothing to do with sex — it has to do with sharing and trusting. The sooner you accept that intimacy is a need you have, the sooner you’ll be able to accept all the feelings you’re having and you’ll be able to process them and integrate them healthfully.

I suggested you read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], NOT to teach you to ask men out (NEVER, NEVER!!), but to understand dating and relationships better. This book will help you a lot. Try reading it and see if it doesn’t — I bet you it will! 🙂

[mollyhart]

[quote=”April Masini”]Tom gave you some really good advice, and I’d like to add to that. It’s a little disappointing to me that the reason you don’t want to date is because you feel that men want to make love with you after you cuddle with them. You’re giving up your responsibility and power in the relationship if you back off altogether just because these guys want something you’re not ready to give.

All relationships involve people who often want something different than their partner at any given time and compromise is a great tool to promote longevity in dating. If you like to cuddle, and he wants to have sex, that doesn’t mean you have to have sex or even take off your clothes. You clearly have a need for affection and intimacy and I think you’re repressing your sexual needs. I have a feeling you’re using this massage therapy appointment to satisfy your sexual feelings because having this man’s hands on you, even in a professional way, makes you feel sensual and sexual. Keeping the appointments professional prevents you from having to have a real relationship with this guy — or any guy! 😕

I think you’re holding yourself back from real intimacy — which has nothing to do with sex — it has to do with sharing and trusting. The sooner you accept that intimacy is a need you have, the sooner you’ll be able to accept all the feelings you’re having and you’ll be able to process them and integrate them healthfully.

I suggested you read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], NOT to teach you to ask men out (NEVER, NEVER!!), but to understand dating and relationships better. This book will help you a lot. Try reading it and see if it doesn’t — I bet you it will! 🙂[/quote]

For sure i like my massage therapists hands its pretty incredible to be honest lol

I want to make love but i always had this goal of being a virgin until i live with a guy but i keep getting more interested in sex like 2 years ago i learnt orgazms, and go for them everynight now and now this year i just tried wearing no underwear in public i did last week and its really amazing feeling and so it keeps like getting stronger but trying to stay a virgin still.
I’ll read this for sure to help me with guy situations, thank you April i love that you posted to me! I love you x0x0x love molly :}

[Ask April Masini]

Balancing your goal of being a virgin until you’re in a committed, monogamous, live in relationship with a guy, with your sexual feelings will be a challenge for you — one that you can definitely deal with by being honest and open with yourself and others who come into your life.

Good luck! 😀

[mollyhart]

[quote=”April Masini”]Balancing your goal of being a virgin until you’re in a committed, monogamous, live in relationship with a guy, with your sexual feelings will be a challenge for you — one that you can definitely deal with by being honest and open with yourself and others who come into your life.

Good luck! 😀[/quote]
I’ll try to 😀 *hug*

[Ask April Masini]

Sounds like a good plan! 🙂

[mollyhart]

[quote=”April Masini”]Sounds like a good plan! 🙂[/quote]

😀 <3 thx 😀

[Ask April Masini]

You’re welcome. 😀

[Ethan Morales]

What you’re describing doesn’t sound like love it’s intense attraction, infatuation, and sexual desire. Love is deeper and develops over time, based on truly knowing someone, sharing experiences, and mutual care and trust. Crushes, even very strong ones, are usually about excitement, fantasy, and idealized images of someone, not the reality of who they are as a person.

With all three of these men, it’s mostly physical attraction and fantasy. You’re imagining possibilities, reacting to attention, and feeling excitement normal and natural but it’s not the same as love. You’re drawn to them for different reasons, but none of these connections show the mutual understanding and shared life that real love involves.

The healthiest way forward is to acknowledge these feelings as crushes and fantasies, and if you want something real, consider dating someone where there’s potential for a genuine relationship. That way, you can move from “dreaming about someone” to actually building a real connection.

[Natalie Noah]

I can feel the swirl of excitement, curiosity, and confusion that you’re navigating and I want to start by acknowledging just how normal all of these feelings are. Crushes are intense and often overwhelming, especially when they stir up physical attraction, trust, and fantasies. What you’re describing your feelings for your massage therapist, your best friend’s brother, and your tennis partner are classic examples of strong crushes rather than love. Love usually grows from spending significant time together, building emotional intimacy, shared experiences, and a sense of commitment. Right now, your feelings are very much tied to fantasy, attraction, and novelty.

I also notice that you’re very aware of boundaries, which is good, but it’s clear there’s a tension between your goals and your desires. You want to remain a virgin until you’re living with someone in a committed relationship, yet your sexual curiosity is strong and intensifying. That’s completely human your body and mind are exploring what feels good and what excites you, and that doesn’t make you “bad” or conflicted, it just makes you aware of your sexuality. It’s important to honor your feelings without feeling pressured to act on them prematurely. There’s a difference between exploration in your imagination and making real-life choices that affect your body and heart.

What’s also worth noting is how much you value control and safety in your experiences. You enjoy public interactions, cuddling, and connection without sex because it feels safe and playful, whereas being alone with someone triggers concerns about crossing your boundaries. That’s an important insight it shows you understand your limits and are trying to protect your emotional and physical space. It’s a delicate balance between honoring your curiosity and maintaining your chosen boundaries. Accepting that your crushes may always be exciting fantasies rather than real relationships right now can actually give you peace.

I love how open you are to guidance and self-reflection. Reading resources like April’s book can help you understand relationships better and recognize patterns in attraction versus true compatibility. This is also about learning to communicate your desires and limits clearly when you do choose to date in the future. You’re exploring, learning, and growing all of which are essential steps before entering a committed, intimate relationship. Your excitement and curiosity are normal and vibrant, but your wisdom about boundaries and commitment is just as important to honor.

[Author]

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