[Kevin08]

I haven’t been able to find a woman who has mutual interests in the past two years. I’m a college sophmore and I have some experience but once I came to college I haven’t been successful in finding a girlfriend. I am very monogamous so I don’t talk to more then one girl at a time but nothing I do seems to help. I get complimented a lot and I know I’m pretty attractive, I have a high gpa, I’m a good dancer, I’m possibly too nice, and I drive a sports car.

I spent a year perusing one girl who I had a lot in common with. I saw her almost daily and we went to get dinner at least 40-50 times and she cooks for me often. I asked her out twice over this time period and she said she wants to be solely friends. She’s had two boyfriends during this time period and called me on both occasions when she dumped them. I’ve been caught up with her but I think I need to find someone else since she seems to by playing with my head. I was never really physically attracted to her but I fell for her personality since I enjoyed all the time I spent with her so much.

I am trying to move on since I was allowing myself to get down over something which may have never existed. I met another girl during this time who I talked to quite a lot and she would always compliment me and tell me how nice I was. After about 2 months straight of talking to her seeing her and meeting her parents she told me she couldn’t do it since she didn’t want a relationship which it seemed it was becoming. So she cut me off and invited another guy to be her valentines.

I just don’t understand where I’m messing up, I’m a pretty nice guy and I have a pretty good sense of humor and everything else is positive as well. I can make almost any woman feel special and laugh but I can’t find anyone who wants anything more…

I would really appreciate any advice on what I could be doing wrong because I don’t see how my luck can be so bad.

Thanks in advance,
Kevin

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Dating is a numbers game and you’re not playing the numbers. Only talking to one girl at a time is where you’re going wrong. It’s great to be monogamous, but save the monogamy for an actual relationship. You’re wasting time by being monogamous before you’re in one.

One of the examples of where you went wrong was having 50 dinners with a girl and only asking her out twice. That’s WAY too much investment in one person with no yield. Think about sports. The best baseball players — the ones who get the grand slams — they go up to bat and strike out a lot before they connect to hit the ball out of the park.

Treat dating like you would a business. Keep mining your prospects until you strike gold.

I think that if you make this adjustment you’re going to find more success. Let me know if that helps and how things go.

See you @AskAprilcom (no dot) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Kevin08]

Thank you for the advice I will try that, I have a hard time finding women on campus who I’m attracted to, but I will do my best 🙂

I’ll definitely let you know if it works out, and thanks again for the analogy 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome. I’m glad I could help. 😀

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Kevin08]

I guess I just don’t know how to be single anymore, I plan on transferring to a new university so I can hopefully meet someone special in the new area because I feel like I have given up, and another investment of time when I find one just doesn’t seem worth while. This is probably because I still keep her around as my friend and have another friend from a different region there to call me and send me good morning texts but idk I’m just rambling. I’m basically saying that I currently feel like I have no hope. I think it might be negative if she transfers to my new school the proceeding year as she said she would like to. I don’t really want to change who I am just so I can meet a girl either.

Thanks for reading my ramble though lol
-Kevin

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you don’t want “to change who you are just to meet a girl” — you’re not going to meet one. 😳 Clearly what you’ve been doing isn’t working and you’re not happy about it. I hope you’ll decide that working on yourself is the best way to make a change in your life! If you make changes in the way you do things, you’ll definitely meet someone. Bouncing from school to school isn’t going to help you run away from your problem. It’s going to follow you.

Buy and read Date Out of Your League: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. It’s going to help you with specific pieces of advice that will help you win with women. Read it!! 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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