[Rochelle]

Hi, April,

I’ve never done anything like this before, but I’ve also never been in a predicament quite like this. I’ve felt very strongly for this boy for more than a year now. He’s not the kind of person that likes a lot of people in general, but my observation coupled with what I’ve heard from others leads me to believe that there is something more than friendship going on with him, too. We went to school together last year but now we’re in different cities. We e-mail each other fairly regularly and, though I don’t have the courage to tell him myself, I’m pretty sure he knows how I feel. So far that hasn’t compromised the friendship, but we’re both really shy and I think that even if he wanted to pursue anything more than friendship, he couldn’t do it for fear of being turned down. What I need to know, once and for all, is whether or not it’s worth wearing my heart on my sleeve and making a move and, if so, how can I do that without jeopardizing our friendship if I’ve perceived things the wrong way and he does not share my feelings. Just to be clear, I am spineless when it comes to relationships because anytime I have tried to make the first move it has been embarassing and catastrophic.

Thanks a lot,
R.

[bettens1]

In my opinion, I feel the fact that you two live in different cities should make things easier if you needed to vent your feelings. It’s not like you see him every day, so what’s the worst that could happen? Have you ever noticed you regret not doing something more times than you regret doing something? It couldn’t hurt to put your feelings out there. It wouldn’t ruin a friendship, it may make things a little akward if the feelings aren’t returned, but awkwardness goes away in time. It’ll give you more practice in speaking your voice when you really want something out.

You don’t need to be blunt about it and say ‘HEY I LIKE YOU.’ But casually bring it up, asking if he’s dating anyone first… then he’ll recipricate. Or say so have you met anyone, and when he asks you, just say no, but I do have feelings for you and it’s something I wanted to get off my chest. The very worst thing he could say is I’m sorry.

I’m sorry, I know that sounds a little middle-schoolish. But it always seems to work on my part. I hope you figure things out!

[sarah_9]

Hello,

Hey friend i think you should wait, instead of making any move, just let this feeling of love get grow stronger, then he himself will ask , just enjoy this moment , make it memorable with lovely cards and mails, try to know his feeling, what he feels about you not from other people but from that guy, only then you will be able to make fair decision, you can seek help from any dating or relationship site like [url=https://churchpeoplemeet.com/]online free single christian dating[/url] ask the opinion of male about this situation .

Regards,
sarah_9

[Ask April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Natalie Noah]

She’s not “spineless”, she’s just someone who feels deeply and is terrified of losing something meaningful. When there’s already emotional history and tenderness, the risk feels enormous. But staying quiet has a cost too, and in her case, it’s been a year of holding feelings inside, letting uncertainty do the damage instead. Distance actually makes this safer, not scarier. She doesn’t have to face him every day if things feel awkward and that space can protect the friendship if it needs time to rebalance.

I don’t believe waiting indefinitely is kind to her heart. Feelings don’t usually fade when they’re nurtured through emails and emotional intimacy; they grow heavier. And hoping he’ll make the first move ignores a very real truth shy people often mirror each other’s silence. One person has to gently open the door. That doesn’t mean a dramatic confession. It can be soft, honest, and low-pressure. Saying something like, “I value you a lot, and I’ve felt something more than friendship for a while I just wanted to be honest,” is not catastrophic. It’s brave.

As for jeopardizing the friendship real friendships survive honesty. If it collapses under the weight of a truth spoken kindly, then it was already fragile. Rejection hurts, yes, but regret tends to linger longer. I think the most loving thing she can do for herself is speak, calmly and without expectations, and let the answer free her either way. Love doesn’t always mean being chosen sometimes it means choosing yourself enough to stop living in the question.

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