[happyday]

I met a guy on line and dated for 8 months. He wasn’t with anyone for a year before we met. After a few weeks we declared our love and were exclusive. We never fought. In the beginning we would see eachother one night a week and on weekends. Then he told me it was hard for him to go out during the week because he was tired after work. Then he started slacking off on the weekends because he needed personal time to do things. Then one day right on my birthday, he sent a text dump “You’re too nice and attentive and I need too much personal space..it won’t work.” I was shattered. I called him trying to get a conversation to see if we could work it out. Nope. No response..nothing. The very next day after he sent the text he went right back on the dating site and in his post asking for a “real relationship.” Now this guy is 38 and lives at home with parents. He also works for their company. He took me to the house 1x when they were not there. He never slept over..only once. Would never ever make a dump in the toilet at my place..always went home to do that…is that odd??? The year before when he was alone, he was into porn, video gaming and had gone out on a few dates before me but no chemistry. I kept asking via text was there something wrong that I did. Nothing. I just wish I had the proper break-up conversation. He wouldn’t even come to pick up his things. I boxed everything and left it with a friend of his. I am left hurt, confused and very sad. He switched up his profile on line and is now looking for a younger woman who has different eye color than mine, it’s ok if she occassionally smokes (I know he doesn’t like that, no answer to is it ok if she has kids (and I know he doesn’t want to be with a woman who has kids,) not sure if he wants kids (when he told me he doesn’t.) Is he just a messed up individual or just playing games with women out there?

[Ask April Masini]

Who cares about him? He dumped you by text. 😯 On your birthday! 😥

I don’t think you should waste [i]one more minute[/i] wondering about him. He isn’t worth it.

As far as figuring out what happened, it’s unfair of you to start tearing him apart [i]now[/i], and hyper-analyzing all the weird things about who he is and what he did and does, when in fact, [i]you[/i] fell in love with him and allowed yourself to be exclusive to him after only a few weeks.

If anything, you probably weren’t discriminating enough about who he was before you declared your love for him and made yourself exclusive. You need to see yourself as a grand prize that men should [b]be lucky[/b] to win! If after only a few weeks, you decided you were in love, my guess is that not only was there not enough of a chase for the prize involved, you didn’t really pay attention or try to get to know who he was before allowing him to have you. Possibly, you didn’t know what you wanted. But now, you can. 🙂

The truth is, you’re hurt because he broke up with you, and you’re just looking for reasons to blame him or make his character and his behavior the reason for his breaking up with you. The reality is that he did you a favor. You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You want to be with someone who [i]adores[/i] you! He’s given you the opportunity to find Mr. Right without wasting one more second.

So heal your wounds and focus on yourself — not him. He’s your past. You are your future — and so is Mr. Right, who’s still out there for you! 😛

I’d recommend my book, Think & Date Like A Man, for you right now. (You can get it at this link [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]) I think this is a really good time for you to read it because it will help you rebuild yourself and start to figure out what you want from a man, and how to get it. You’ll learn about how dating is a numbers game, and that you have to get up to bat many, many times, in order to hit that grand slam out of the park. Mr. Right is out there — but the book helps you determine what he looks like so you don’t waste your time with guys who are so tasteless that they’d break up with you by text, on your birthday. Yikes! 😕

I know you’re hurt, but believe me, you dodged a bullet on this one. You’re going to be much better off without Mr. Wrong.

Forget your ex-boyfriend, and move on with your own life. It’s going to be fabulous because you’re going to learn from this last mistake how to do better next time. 😀

[optimistvik]

Dont waste your time by thinking about him. be cheerful and start thinking of a way to make yourself happy. 🙂

[happyday]

Thanks for the advice….it’s just so haunting that we had no closure conversation. I didn’t think he was like that and I hate to feel like things were left on such a bad note….”text note” that is. I don’t know how I will react if I see him around and hate to feel uncomfortable. I have always been able to conclude relationships with honor and respect for the other person with at least a conversation. It stings.

[optimistvik]

Just forget this issue ever happened in your life and start moving… all the best..

[Ask April Masini]

Life is full of all kinds of people! 🙄 And while [i]you’re[/i] honorable enough to end relationships with well mannered closure, not everyone else is! 👿 This text message break up was a very bad manner, and a sign of this guy’s bad breeding and lack of consideration.

Next time, choose someone with better manners! 😉

And when you do see him around, [i]you[/i] take the high road. Just because he’s a text message dumper doesn’t mean you have to be anything but your best self. Say hello, be polite, be brief, and smile as you turn and walk away. You don’t have to slump to other peoples’ standards. 💡 You can raise the bar in social situations all by yourself. I think that will make you feel a lot more comfortable if you see your ex one day.

Hope that helps!

[Ethan Morales]

The way he ended things by text on your birthday is incredibly inconsiderate and immature. That alone tells you a lot about his character and priorities. You didn’t deserve that, and it’s understandable that you’re hurt, confused, and sad.

All the “weird” behaviors you noticed never sleeping over, avoiding certain things at your place, living at home with parents, heavy reliance on gaming and porn aren’t really the core issue. The key is that he wasn’t capable of being fully present or committed to a relationship. Analyzing his behavior now will only keep you stuck in the past.

You fell in love quickly and went exclusive early, which is natural, but it also meant you didn’t fully vet his compatibility or maturity level. That’s not a failure on your part just a learning experience. You now know what you want and deserve in a partner: someone who adores you, treats you with respect, and is ready to commit.

His new online profile looking for someone “younger” or different isn’t about you it’s just a continuation of his pattern of immaturity or self-centeredness. That’s not something you need to fix or even understand.

The healthiest move is to focus on yourself, heal, and rebuild your standards and confidence. He’s your past, and dwelling on him won’t help. There are men out there who will value you, cherish you, and show up fully. Use this experience as a guide for what to avoid and what to seek in your next relationship. He was not the right man for you, you dodged a bullet, and your priority now is self-respect, healing, and moving forward.

[Natalie Noah]

My heart goes out to you that was a really harsh way to be treated, especially on your birthday. It’s completely natural to feel hurt, confused, and sad. But the bigger picture here is that his behavior reveals a lot more about him than about you. A man who truly values and respects someone doesn’t dump them via text, doesn’t ignore attempts at conversation, and doesn’t immediately jump back onto dating platforms the next day. His actions show immaturity, avoidance, and a lack of emotional responsibility. It’s painful, but the fact that he acted this way actually spares you from investing further in someone who wasn’t ready or capable of giving you the love you deserve.

You also mentioned trying to dissect his behaviors from his hygiene habits at your place to his preferences for younger women and while it’s tempting to overanalyze, that’s really just your mind trying to make sense of the hurt. The truth is, none of that matters because it doesn’t change the fact that he didn’t treat you as a priority. Your focus now needs to be on yourself and reclaiming your sense of worth. You were ready to love and commit, and he wasn’t prepared to meet you there. That doesn’t reflect poorly on you; it reflects his limitations. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can stop wasting energy on someone who clearly didn’t value your heart.

You are the grand prize here. A man who adores you, respects you, and can give you emotional safety is out there someone who sees your love and attention as a gift, not a burden. Take this time to heal, reflect on what you want, and learn from this experience. The right man will make you feel cherished, not leave you questioning yourself or your worth. Right now, every ounce of your focus should be on your growth, your happiness, and preparing yourself to recognize and attract the kind of love that honors your heart.

[Author]

Posts