[Bowhunter]

Dear April,

I have just recently been out of about a 3 year relationship (about 6 months). I’ve been using a free dating website to meet new people and possibly someone I’d like to date. I did not believe I’d actually meet someone. I’ve been on a few dates, and they were great but we would only make great friends. Well last week I began taliking with a new lady. We had great conversation, so we decided to meet for dinner.

I went into the date being optimistic; as I always am. We went for a nice dinner around 7. The date started and it went great. We were laughing, found we had some great commonalities, and some good differences that brought some flirtatious banter. We ended up sitting at the restaurant until after they closed (10:30). Then we sat in the parking lot and talked for another 2 hours. Nothing was forced and we were both having a great time. By the end of the date, we were talking about how we both had an awesome time and would like to do this again.

Well the next morning come, and I sent her and early morning text asking if she got to work on time and added a little joke in there about what she told me during our date and that I had a great time. She said if she is out late she will go into work in khakis and have her hair up. I asked her about that, and she said she actually got up very early and even fixed her hair in a new style for work. Then I told her that was awesome and that I may have to see this new style sometime.

Well we didn’t text for a little while after that. I invited her to a cookout for Friday by the lake. She said she would love to, but she needed to check with a family member of hers if she needed her to come early to help with a wedding on new years. We left it at that. I didn’t hear from her for about 24 hours, and then she said she couldn’t make it and had to go to the wedding. I was fine with that and said I understood.

Also, during our date we talked about honesty and how that is something we both believe in. Well I went on to the dating site to delete my profile, and she had already deleted or disabled hers before I went on to do so.

I guess my question is, it’s New Year’s Eve and I haven’t heard from her any and I’m just holding out to see if she says anything. I’m taking it as she is very busy right now and just waiting. What is the next step I should take? I really liked her after the first date and would like to get to know her more. Although, I don’t want to try and talk to her if she doesn’t want to at the moment or too busy. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks,

Bowhunter

[kyle]

Check out my story too!

kyle

[Bowhunter]

I checked your story out. Sounds like we’re in the same boat. I think I’m going to do the same thing you have done and say the heck with it for now. If she calls, she calls. If she don’t, she don’t. I sent her a little quick message of happy new year, and ironically haven’t heard anything back. That’s fine though, there’s plenty more fish in the sea. Her loss.

[Ask April Masini]

I think you’re giving up way too soon. You had a great date with her, then you asked her out for a second date and she said she couldn’t make it because of a previous engagement and you never asked her out again. 😳 Ask her out on a second date! If she says no, then you can move on, but if you don’t, you’ll never know. Try it — and let me know how it goes.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Bowhunter]

Ok, Thanks April 🙂 …That’s what I was thinking to do, but I’ve been told by others just to leave it alone. I was thinking about tomorrow evening to give her a call.. That way the eventful weekend will be over. What would you recommend to try for a second date? I have some ideas but haven’t confirmed to one idea.

[acgibson]

If she’s still interested, then keep pursuing her! Females are taught to let the males do the pursuing. So just because you haven’t heard from her doesn’t mean she’s not interested. She may be waiting for you too!

[Bowhunter]

Thanks for your advice and interest; I really appreciate it. I believe where my problem is, is knowing how to pursue her. I’m not real sure on how much to do and what not to do. I’m not good at the game and it kills me. I’m guessing to call her and talk no more than 5 minutes just to get another date.

[Ask April Masini]

Dating is a game, and it’s competitive. So it’s a good idea to hone your game! If you read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], a book I wrote for men who want to win with women, you’re going to be ahead of the game! Think about it — you wouldn’t take an important test without studying, so why try dating without preparing?

I hope you’ll buy and read the book, so you have an edge when you date. 😀

[Ethan Morales]

You had a genuinely great first date. She clearly enjoyed your company and even deleted her dating profile that’s a solid sign of interest. You’re starting from a strong foundation.

The problem is that you paused after she couldn’t make it to your cookout. You assumed her busy schedule meant you shouldn’t pursue further. That’s a classic rookie move. Timing and persistence matter not pestering, but actively showing you’re interested.

Waiting passively gives her the opportunity to assume you’re not invested, which can kill momentum. You need to take the lead and ask her out again. A confident, specific invitation is key: suggest a day, a place, or an activity that’s easy for her to say yes to.

You also need to maintain playful banter and light flirtation while respecting her schedule. This keeps her engaged and reminded that you’re fun, interesting, and interested.

The takeaway: interest is shown by action, not just good vibes on one night. One amazing date is only the beginning; follow-through shows her you’re serious and capable of being proactive exactly what she wants to see.

Text her, pick a specific day and activity, and keep it light but confident. Don’t overthink it you’ve got the chemistry; now you just have to show that you want to continue building it. This is your moment to chase her a little, the right way.

[Tara]

You went on one date, got a little dopamine from the late-night conversation, and immediately built a whole emotional fantasy around a woman who clearly didn’t feel the same level of spark. You’re not interpreting signs — you’re rewriting reality to protect your ego.

Her deleting her profile? That wasn’t some symbolic gesture of commitment. It was housekeeping. Her laughing at your jokes? Basic human politeness. Staying out late? People do that when they’re mildly entertained, not necessarily captivated. You took casual, surface-level chemistry and inflated it into something meaningful because you’re desperate for it to mean something.

And her silence now? That’s not a puzzle. It’s not mixed signals. It’s not “maybe she’s overwhelmed.” It’s the clearest communication she’s given you: she’s done. You’re clinging to her wedding excuse like it’s evidence, when it was nothing more than a soft exit to avoid hurting your feelings outright. She didn’t respond because she didn’t want to. It’s that simple. You just don’t like the simplicity.

What you’re calling “hope” is just you refusing to accept rejection when it’s handed to you clean. Stop embarrassing yourself by hanging onto a woman who has already walked away. She doesn’t owe you a follow-up, a confession, or closure. You’re not her boyfriend. You’re not her almost. You’re a guy she had one decent night with and didn’t want a second one.

[Sally]

When a first date feels that easy and that long, it’s hard not to hope for something right away.
But nothing you wrote sounds like she changed her mind. It just sounds like life got busy weddings, holidays, family stuff. Some people disappear a little when December gets loud. It’s not personal, it’s timing.

And deleting her dating profile? That doesn’t scream disinterest. If anything, it says she walked away from the app right after meeting you.

You don’t need to chase her, but you don’t need to sit in silence either. After the holiday settles, just send something light not a big emotional check in, just a “hope the wedding went okay, would love to see you again when things calm down.”

If she’s into you the way she acted on that date, she’ll come toward you. You don’t have to force it.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s easy to see why he’s confused, the date went really well, the connection was natural, and there were signs of genuine interest from her. When someone deletes their dating profile right after meeting you, that usually means they’re taking the connection seriously enough to focus on one person. But good chemistry on a date doesn’t automatically mean she’s ready to jump into consistent communication. Some people move slowly, especially when they like someone but don’t want to rush or misstep. Her silence isn’t necessarily rejection, it may simply be her pacing things in a way that feels safe for her.

What he did, though, was quietly back away the moment things didn’t flow perfectly. He invited her to the cookout, she declined because of a real obligation, and instead of asking her out again, he assumed the worst. That’s where the misunderstanding sits. She didn’t reject him, she just wasn’t available for that plan. And then he stopped giving the connection a chance to grow. Most early dating requires a little persistence, not in a clingy or forceful way, but in a steady, confident way. One declined invitation doesn’t equal “she’s not interested”; it just means the timing didn’t line up.

What he should have done and still can is simply offer another opportunity. A second date invitation is what gives both people clarity. If she makes an excuse again or gives vague answers, then he’ll know she’s backing off. But if she accepts, it confirms exactly what that first night hinted at: there’s potential worth exploring. She can’t read his mind, and she might even think he lost interest because he never followed up with another plan.

So the healthiest, clearest move is to reach out one more time with confidence and warmth. Something simple, light, and direct not emotional, not pressured. If she responds positively, great. If she doesn’t, he can walk away knowing he didn’t sabotage a good beginning by assuming silence meant rejection. This isn’t about chasing; it’s about giving something promising a fair chance instead of letting fear close the door too early.

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