[oddguy22]

I’m 22 years old, I have a girlfriend for 4 years now and we have been working in the same company for 9 months. I resigned from my job because my family has set up a business and they needed me. I was hesitant at first because it would mean that me and my girlfriend will be on a long distance relationship because our family business is far away. I took the risk of having a long distance relationship because I always wanted to work with IT stuff (which is the nature of our family business).
My girlfriend didn’t like my plans, and always crying about it which really made me guilty for leaving her. But I convinced her telling this was for our future, this was my passion, make my family proud in helping with the business, and I really hated my job.
So now, I’m working with our family business. But I met a girl who is 2 years older than me this November. When I met her was like I knew her for a very long time and we were immediately friends from the first time we met. We bacame friends in facebook and eventually got her number ( though she jokingly said that it wasnt her number but her boss’ number when I missed called her phone number for her to get my number). After that we always communicated each other everyday, sending pictures of what we were cooking, exchanged recipes, exchanged ideas, mostly we can talk about anything that came to my mind without hesitating or being shy. I really liked her a lot, because she has the characteristics of a girls that I want. we exchanged food that we cooked. We went out once and treated her (because I lost from a bet). we drank couple of beers, but with her friends. We sometimes talk about our relationship, (she talks about how good her relationship is with her boyfriend but they had an issue once, and I mostly talk about that sometimes I don’t enjoy my relationship with my girlfriend.)
I don’t exactly know if she likes me too, but sometimes she’s giving me the “signs” but I don’t want to keep my hopes up and don’t want to misinterpret the kind things she is doing for me.
she clarified that we were only friends, and i agreed with her because I don’t want to ruin her relationship with her boyfriend. but it really made me confuse because Once she also asked me that what would I do if I had a friend which is a girl that I really, really like but that girl has a boyfriend. but the girl has confessed to me that she liked me too.? (she said that was a situation of one of her friends, but I don’t know if she was really telling the truth)
then also one time she also asked me what will I do if she kissed me when we were so drunk during the christmas party?
she was testing me if I could fight temptation of other girls.

after that i coudn’t take her off my mind, i’m thinking of her a lot. she really makes me smile a lot. am i just infatuated? I opened up with her that I want to stop communicating with her because I think that we were doing is wrong, she agreed with it and told me that we will unfriend in facebook, delete our messages and our contact number. but that evening i sent her a message that I can’t stand being like strangers with her, and she also felt the same way.

i really don’t know what to do right now, because my relationship with my girlfriend is turning sour right now. Im trying to work out my relationship with my girlfriend but sometimes im thinking about giving up and just let her go.

Please help me and tell me what you think about my situation right now. I’m really confused and don’t really know what to do.

[AskApril Masini]

I think you should break up with your girlfriend because the long distance situation isn’t working for you, and you’re finding out that you’re interested in someone else, which means that the relationship you have with your girlfriend isn’t the last one you’re going to have. I know you feel guilty because you left your girlfriend to work far away to help out your family and pursue career goals in a certain field, so you promised her you’d have a long-distance relationship, but the reality is that it isn’t working, and while you may feel like you’re breaking a promise, you’re doing her a favor. If you’re not the one for her, and she’s not the one for you, then wasting her time and your own isn’t a good idea. While all break ups hurt, they are gifts because they let a person who isn’t the one, go and pursue others who are.

Whether or not things work out with the woman you’re flirting with (who likes you, by the way), what’s clear is that you are interested in having a relationship with a woman, in person, now. And at your age, that’s very normal.

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[oddguy22]

if i should break up with her, what should i say? i dont know what to do, she’s my first girlfriend and i never had any experience before. should i speak with her personally? which would take a couple of months before i can see her again, or just talk it through the phone?. what if she wont let go?

i know that she (the other girl that i like) has something for me, but my problem is she has a boyfriend. should i stick around with her? or just give her space and wait for her and her boyfriend to break up? should i confess that i feel something very special for her?.

thanks for the reply april.

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]if i should break up with her, what should i say? i dont know what to do, she’s my first girlfriend and i never had any experience before. should i speak with her personally? which would take a couple of months before i can see her again, or just talk it through the phone?. what if she wont let go?[/quote]

Breaking up in person is usually the best way to do things because there’s less room for misunderstanding and it’s respectful, but in your case, since you won’t see her for a few months, it’s better to do it on the telephone. Never break up in writing. An e-mail is disrespectful, and a text break up is very rude. So call her. Tell her that you’re very sorry to hurt her feelings, and that this has been a difficult decision for you, but that you’ve decided to break up with her because the relationship isn’t working for you. Tell her that she’s a wonderful person, and you want the best for her, but that it’s not right for you to continue this relationship because your feelings have changed.

I’m not sure what you mean when you ask what you should do if she won’t let go. You live far away from each other, and once you’ve decided to move on, you do just that. What she does is her business. Not everybody reacts to a break up the same way, and it may take her longer to accept what’s happened than you imagine it will, but eventually, if you’re clear with her, she will.

[quote]i know that she (the other girl that i like) has something for me, but my problem is she has a boyfriend. should i stick around with her? or just give her space and wait for her and her boyfriend to break up? should i confess that i feel something very special for her?.[/quote]

Dating is competitive! And you have some competition, so bring out your A game! Turn up the flirtation, so she knows how you feel about her, and when you start getting signals back that she’s interested, ask her out on a date. 😉

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[oddguy22]

i have talked to my girlfriend, and she said we should talk about breaking up personally. I think she also is having a hard time with our relationship. so I assume that our relationship is going down the bin.

and on the other side, I have confessed to the girl that I like that I have feelings for her. but now she does not want to talk to me. she said that friendship is all that she can give. she dont want to have a fight with her boyfriend because of me. she asked me not to talk to her, message her or even communicate with her. right now we avoid each other. what should I do? it really hurts me avoiding her and everything.

[AskApril Masini]

First of all, you should accept the rejection from the girl you were interested in. Not everyone you want to date will want to date you, and vice versa. Knowing that you’ve got a “no” in front of you gives you the freedom to date someone who IS interested in you!

But…. you should buy and read [b]Date Out of Your League[/b], a book I wrote for men who want to date and win! Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. The reason I’m recommending that you read this book is so that you understand how to get the girl. One mistake you made was “confessing your feelings” to the girl you like — before you’ve even had a single date with her! 😮 In her eyes, you probably looked desperate and needy instead of confident — which is what women really like! There’s a lot of advice in this e-book that you can download today, that will help you with dating. 🙂

As for your girlfriend, I gave you my advice on that relationship…. but it doesn’t look like you’re taking it. 😳

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[lovendar]

I think relationships are like rock, if we are strong enough to deal a situation and we are not affected by any other person’s entry in our life then these relationships are real in our lives. If we got affected or we have a gf or bf other than one it means we are occasional and we dont care relations anymore. Ask from yourself that who is your best part and tell them too. 😆

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Member]

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