My heart goes out to you because you’ve endured a lot of pain and confusion. You’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone who has been both verbally and physically abusive, and it’s completely understandable that your heart is drawn to someone who treats you with kindness and respect, even if he has his flaws. Abuse changes the dynamic of love; it’s not just about feelings; it’s about safety, trust, and emotional well-being. Wanting to protect the first man from being hurt is understandable, but you must recognize that your priority has to be your own emotional and physical safety, not someone else’s comfort.
Falling back in love with someone who has consistently hurt you is rare, and even if change seems real, it often takes far more than words to rebuild trust. It takes consistent, long-term actions and a history of accountability. Your attraction to the other man, who brings joy and security, is a signal that your heart is guiding you toward a healthier, more nurturing relationship. Loving someone shouldn’t require enduring abuse or hoping for change that may not be sustainable. Following your heart toward someone who uplifts and values you is not only valid, it’s essential for your growth, happiness, and long-term fulfillment.
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