[Hania David]

Hi April,
I just want to start by saying how much I appreciate your advice. I read posts on your forum almost every day, and honestly, your answers have helped me see dating in a much clearer way. Your advice feels real, practical, and comforting, which is why I finally decided to ask my own question.

My name is Hania, and I’m 30 years old. I’m genuinely confused about chasing men. Everyone says, “Don’t chase, let him chase you,” but in real life it never feels that simple. If I show interest, I worry I’ll look desperate. But if I hold back, I’m scared he’ll think I’m not interested at all.

I don’t want to play games, and I don’t want to pretend I don’t care. At the same time, I don’t want to push a man away by trying too hard. Where is the real line between showing interest and chasing? I would truly love your honest advice, Ask April, because this part of dating leaves me very confused.

[AskApril Masini]

Hi Hania,

I’m glad my advice helped you.

When I say don’t chase a man, I don’t mean play games or act like you don’t care. I mean literally don’t chase him.

You can start a conversation. “Oh, I love blueberry muffins.” You can ask him to a party. All that’s fine. Those are ways to show you’re interested without looking desperate.

Where is the real line between showing interest and chasing?

That is the moment you ask him on a clear, romantic date. Now you’re chasing him, not the other way around. And men want to chase. They want that rush of winning
you over. That’s how their brains work.

When something is easy, men think it’s cheap. And cheap isn’t valued. That may sound cruel, many women get angry when I say it, but it’s the reality.

Also, how a relationship starts is how it runs.

If you lead at the start, you’ll lead forever.

If you plan dates now, you’ll plan them later.

If you push now, you’ll keep pushing.

If you’re fine with that, great. Own it. But most women aren’t, and that’s why you hear the same story again and again:

“He never takes me out.”

“He never plans anything.”

“He never steps up.”

In many cases, that pattern started on day one, when she chased and he got used to it.

So here’s the rule, Show interest. Do not pursue.

Let him step up or step aside.

That’s how you sort winners from losers fast, and save your time.

[Lune David]

Thank you so much, April, for such a clear and quick reply. I really appreciate how directly and honestly you explained this — it helped everything finally click for me.
I’m grateful you took the time to respond and break this down so simply. Thank you again for your guidance and wisdom on AskApril. 💛

[Member]

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