[Anonymous]

First of all this is the first time i’v ever really let myself come out with things like this, i hope i can find an answer to my problems.

I met her in the winter, we met through friends one night and started to speaking to each other through Facebook. After time we met up and from the first time we laid eyes on each other we couldn’t be apart. She opened up parts of me i never knew i could express, she made me feel so special and wanted. I had a past of being a player and she knew this but she still took me on knowing she could get hurt in the long run. Eventually we made it official and spent 3 months together. From me being a player i was used to go out at the weekends, clubs, drinking. It got in the way of the relationship and she was always paranoid and anxious. A problem i came across that she revealed to me was that she had depression so on top of me going out every weekend getting wasted it didn’t help. One weekend it was all too much for her and i spoke down on her when i had been drinking. She ended it right there and went to her friends house in tears. I went home and broke down, being sick, crying and wanting to turn back time. From that night for a week i spoke to her, wrote to her and eventually had a break through. I took care of the drinking and stopped completely. Started at the gym like i used to and started to live a more chilled out lifestyle. We started to see each other again but she was confused the whole time.
We ended it completely about 5 weeks ago and i broke contact completely knowing i would just keep on chasing her. On her birthday the 22nd of April i contacted her via Facebook with a small message hoping she was alright in life and for her to enjoy her weekend etc. From this message it turned into a conversation.

Last night we were talking and i mentioned my birthday on the 4th of may coming up, saying it would be the first time i would have a drink of alcohol since we broke up and asked if she’d like to come out. She said she wouldn’t want to see me drunk ever again and would pass on the idea.

Its been on my mind so much now, i think its the fact that alcohol and the anger caused from it made the problems and me bringing it up again un-intentionally has brought to her mind the bad times.

I’m wanting to win her back badly, she changed me in so many ways and life doesn’t seem right without her. I’m 18 years old and yes maybe you might think this is pathetic at my age but who says you cant experience love at a young age and know shes the one? I know i want this girl in my life and without the drinking and anger we’re a perfect couple. I’ve attended my doctors and cured everything, i don’t drink, i’m in great shape and the anger is gone.

How can i prove to her i’m worth that second chance and how can i turn the conversation back on from the bad one we had last night involving the alcohol?
I just want some next steps, i feel at a dead end and completely lost.

What i’m asking is, taking everything into consideration..
How can i win back my ex girlfriend and start a new, better relationship?

Thank you and god bless.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you have really made a good attempt to turn your life around — so congratulations to you for that! 😀 She was with you when you contacted her on FB most recently all the way up until you told her you were going to have a drink to celebrate your birthday — that’s when you lost her. She doesn’t want you if you’re drinking. She wants a very healthy man in her life. If you can be that man, you have a shot.

Cultivate a sober lifestyle and stay in touch without pushing, so she can learn that you’re really committed to not drinking and being a better version of who you were.

At the same time, read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], so you can understand why women go for certain types of men — and become that guy who gets the girl.

I think you can do this, but it’s going to take discipline and patience. Let em know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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