[Anonymous]

my BF and i have been dating for a while. lately, he’s been hinting that he wants to try new things in the bedroom. I know he wants me to give “girl on top” positions a try, but im too self conscious… Ever since I was in middle school i’ve had some serious body image issues, and while I’m better about it now, I still don’t totally love my body. I’ve been trying to get over it and give “girl on top” a try, but whenever we actually get to that point, I freeze up because I start thinking things like “I won’t look good from that angle” and “what if my fat starts to jiggle?” … I feel bad because last time he mentioned something about me making him do all the work … I don’t want him to think im lazy and selfish or whatever, and I definitely dont want to make him do all the work because I believe that a relationship should be equal giving and taking of both people involved.
is there any advice you have that might help me?

[Anonymous]

I can totally understand being self conscious, especially during sex. But I think that there’s probably a good chance that your boyfriend doesn’t even notice the flaws that you notice about yourself. Don’t feel self conscious about being on top. It’s actually a pretty flattering angle and “fat jiggling” shouldn’t be much of an issue unless you’re moving around like crazy. Start off slow and if you’re moving in a way that makes you feel self conscious, then try moving a different way (unless he really, really likes it of course!). Maybe keeping the lights out or having only very dim light will make you feel a little less self conscious? You’ll get more comfortable after a while, don’t worry. Just relax and enjoy yourself.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The sexiest thing a woman can do in the bedroom is to be confident, so get to work on turning yourself into a woman you can be proud of! If you have extra weight that you’re thinking about instead of thinking about him during sex, then get to the gym! Exercise, pilates, yoga and aerobics will all help. Eating smart is another way to rid yourself of body fat. So instead of complaining or worrying — get to work! 😀 If he wants to have sex with you on top, it would be a good idea to try it — compromise and pleasing your man in the bedroom are important — and ironically, will make you even MORE confident and sexual in the bedroom. In the meantime, until you start to see those results from the gym, lingerie is a great way to feel a little more confident if you’re worried about your appearance, and dim lights or candlelight are great too, but I can assure you that if your boyfriend is asking for a different position and it’s you on top, he’s going to be thrilled to have you try it and like it.

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[Member]

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