[Lola]

so back in November I started dating an amazing guy,(who has been chasing me for five years) who swept me off my feet and we fell in love at the same time he mentioned that he had a potential baby on the way. The entire time he stressed that there were possibly 3 fathers of the child…he tried to be a part of the of their lives but she refused until the last few weeks of her pregnancy…basically they ended up on good terms and now he is taking full responsibility of the situation without even knowing if it is really his…he says he loves me but his actions don’t really show it…one night he slept at my apartment and when we were waking up he claims that he was still dreaming and called out her name instead of mine( the catch he was trying to wake me up)…and now he is starting to spend the night at her house to help take care of the baby…Should I worry about them getting back together or am I being paranoid?

[Ask April Masini]

You’re not being paranoid. He may have chased you for five years, but obviously, that’s not ALL he was doing! Ideally, he should get a paternity test and find out if the baby is his (and if the mother refuses the test, he can go to court and have one ordered). If the baby IS his, then he should take care of it financially and spend time raising it. There are lots of single fathers who are able to be dads and date girlfriends. However….sleeping over at his ex-girlfriend’s house using the excuse that he’s taking care of the baby he isn’t sure is his or not, is a lame excuse for someone in a relationship with YOU!

Take the hint that he’s not ready for a mature relationship because he’s got too much unresolved baggage to be free to be yours.

Find someone who’s available and willing to be with you and only you!

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

So I have bigger issue in this problem now…I found out that I am pregnant and his first words out his mouth were abortion…I never expected him to react this way just because how great we were since November…he also made statements before I found out that I was pregnant that he does not believe in abortions… he claims it’s because he wants to do things right with me…marriage than children… we decided to take a break and work on each other but I don’t know if I want to be with someone who has ignored my calls/ texts,said some real hurtful things and has not kept his word with me for the past week…also who is manipulating me into doing something that I am not 100% about..I understand he has a lot on his plate but I never expected him to react this way…he also had the audacity to ask me if I got pregnant on purpose…I am highly upset…but I still love him so much..maybe I should just cut him out my life completely…any suggestion?

[Ask April Masini]

It’s too late for you to cut him out of your life completely — he’s about to be the father of your child, and will now be in your life forever!

My advice is that you prepare to be a single mother, and understand his limitations. He isn’t going to marry you, and he probably isn’t going to be a consistent or willing parent — but maybe once you have the baby he’ll do a “turn around”. For now, get the support you need for your pregnancy and motherhood, elsewhere. He isn’t ready for a mature relationship with you. Hopefully he will accept his parental responsibilities.

I hope that helps. I know this is difficult, but it’s much better if you accept reality that wish and hope that he’ll become someone different. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

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