Hi,
I am a 20 year old guy from South Africa. About a year ago- I started falling for one of my best friends…. BIG MISTAKE THAT WAS! Eventually I told her that I had fallen for her, and it’s almost like she has been using that to her “advantage. Since I told her, every single time we go out and party we get together (kiss), and ironically it’s always when she’s drunk.
Recently things have moved on from kissing and about a month ago things got really heated between us, and she begged me for sex (honestly not trying to make myself look cool or anything that is literally what happened). Again she was drunk though. Anyways me being sober- I thought about it logically and realised she wasn’t on the pill, and I didn’t have a condom so I said no, and ‘other things’ were done. The next morning she begged me not to tell anyone what went on and I agreed and said ok just like all the other times. That makes me feel so worthless. Like I’m not good enough for people to know that you even kiss me. So, about a week ago I opened up to her best friend and told her everything and her best friend knew nothing.
My issue is that no matter what I do, I will always have feelings for this girl, and all she does is brings me down to her friends. Every time I tell her I’m in love with her- she tells EVERYONE and nothing gets said that the b**** asked me for sex, or rather begged. She has a habit of lying about things that happen too, and it’s getting too much now. I’m coming to that stage where I will play the same game she’s playing. I honestly don’t know what to do.
On Friday night she told me she promised herself that she wouldn’t do anything with me because she knows my ex and I are trying again and she doesn’t want to ruin it for me. BUT we aren’t trying. Then she went and got with some random, and made sure she did it in front of me. She then told her friend the next day that she had to do it because she needed me to see she’s not into me. (Again, but when we’re alone you want me so bad) this is my confusion… this girl is playing around with me, and it’s not fair! I look like a psycho because no one knows that she always tries with me, and she always initiates things! Not me! It’s almost if she likes the attention that much that she’s willing to put me through this all the time. We will even message each other- and she will change the story so bad, just to tell the friend that I’m psycho. Unlucky for her- my messages are kept and I showed her friend every single one…
I guess what I’m getting at is, I’m sick of being played for a fool… when you drunk and need a quick squeeze, im good enough BUT no one must know. And when you sober I’m just your friend, and you make me look bad… I don’t get it???? Any advice????
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense. I’m rather angry ha-ha. 😕
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