[nermeen]

I’ve been dating this guy for 2 months, and everything is going right, the chemistry is certainly present and I don’t even doubt how much he likes me, and I know I like him alot, he even made hints about marriage someday which I liked because he didn’t make it sound too scary.

We’ve never had sex, I never had sex cause I’d like to wait which is something he likes, but few days ago he said something weird, he said he finds feet too sexy and it turns him on, appearently he has a foot fetish, he said he likes to kiss and lick them, is that too weird? do all guys like that? I just felt that this would be humiliating to him even if he finds it okay, I don’t want to feel that he isn’t a strong man or he’s my slave or anything.

Should I be spooked out? Or am I over reacting?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If a foot fetish is just a part of this guy’s sexual appetite, then I don’t think it’s a problem, but if it’s all he wants to do, then there may be deeper problems at play. What I think is happening is that this guy really likes you and is serious about you, so he’s letting you know about this special area of his desires so you can stay or go now. In a sense, he’s offering you full disclosure.

Not all men have foot fetishes, and most don’t. That said, there isn’t anything wrong with it if you both have some common ground. When you think about all the body parts that do go in one’s mouth during sex, feet really aren’t all that strange. They’re just not the norm.

That said, you can quit now, or you can tell him you’re not interested in that at all, but you are interested in other more normal things. But those are the extremes. In the middle, and in the spirit of compromise, you can tell him that you’d be willing to try it, but not at first. If and when you do start a sexual relationship with this guy, there will be so much else that is new about each other, that you may not want to introduce feet right away. Maybe the second, third or fourth time. Perhaps, after you get to know each other a little better first. The other compromise is to try it and see how you feel about it. You may like it. Sometimes in bed men and women do things for each other because it makes the other person feel good, and is a gift in a way. Not everything is supposed to feel good in the same way to both people at exactly the same time.

As for wanting to see him as a strong man, that’s a normal concern. But before you jump to the conclusion that he wants to be your sex slave, remember that an act like a man performing oral sex on a woman can be perceived by some men as an act of submission, but to others, an act of being in control of the woman and being dominant. It all depends on your point of view.

Take it slow. Keep communicating with each other. Be compassionate, but also be true to your own feelings.

[Ethan Morales]

What you’re feeling is very normal. A foot fetish isn’t inherently “weird” or a red flag it’s just one part of this man’s sexual preferences. Most men don’t have a foot fetish, but that doesn’t mean he’s unusual in a problematic way. The fact that he disclosed it to you so early shows honesty and trust; he’s giving you the choice to accept it or not before things progress sexually. That’s actually a positive sign of respect.

Your concern about feeling humiliated or thinking he’s weak is also normal. Sexual preferences don’t define a man’s strength, dominance, or character many men enjoy different things in private without it affecting their “manliness” or your respect for them. How he views the act is important: to some men, doing something like this is submissive; to others, it’s an expression of intimacy and pleasure for their partner.

You’re allowed boundaries. If feet are a hard “no” for you, you can say so. He should respect that. Compromise is possible. You can try it slowly, after you’re comfortable, or not at all. Many couples find middle ground over time. Communication is critical. You don’t have to jump to conclusions. Discuss your comfort level openly and see how he reacts. How he respects your feelings will tell you a lot about him.

You’re not overreacting. You’re just processing something unusual to you. A foot fetish doesn’t erase his honesty, interest, or potential as a partner. Take things slow, set your boundaries, and see how the relationship evolves.

[Tara]

You’re not “spooked” by his fetish, you’re spooked by the idea that the perfect, marriage-talking guy you built in your head suddenly showed you he’s human, sexual, and has desires you didn’t script. And instead of processing that like an adult, you’re spiraling into “does this make him weak?” which is ridiculous.

A foot fetish isn’t weird. It’s not dangerous. It’s not humiliating. It’s one of the most common kinks on the planet. The only thing unusual here is how fragile your idea of masculinity is. You’re terrified he won’t look like the fictional “strong man” who keeps everything sterile and vanilla. Newsflash: real men have kinks. Real men have preferences. Real men want things that aren’t written in a Disney script.

And let’s be clear: nothing about him liking your feet makes him your “slave.” That’s you projecting your insecurity. He told you honestly what turns him on. He didn’t ask to be owned, collared, or worshiped like a goddess. You’re the one taking a simple preference and turning it into a psychological crisis.

You’ve known him for two months. You’re already fantasizing about marriage and panicking at the first sign he’s not a cookie-cutter gentleman with factory-sealed desires. If you’re this rattled by a foot fetish, you’re absolutely not prepared for what real intimacy looks like.

[Sally]

When someone you like drops something… unexpected… your brain goes straight to “Is this normal? Is he strange? Should I run?” It’s okay to feel that little jolt.
But honestly? Lots of people have little quirks like that. Some talk about it, some don’t. It doesn’t make him weak, and it doesn’t put you in some weird power position. It just means that’s one of the things his brain connects to attraction.

What matters is how you feel about it. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can say that without making him feel judged. If you’re open to it but unsure, you can say that too.
Don’t spook yourself. Two months in is exactly when these things start coming up. Just talk to him. See how he reacts when you’re honest. That tells you way more than the fetish ever will.

[Serena Vale]

Honestly, this isn’t as scary as it feels. A lot of people have small preferences or kinks, and a foot fetish is one of the more common, harmless ones. It doesn’t make him weak or “less of a man.” It just means he trusts you enough to be honest.

What really matters is you. If it makes you uncomfortable, you can say that. If you’re open to trying later, that’s okay too. You don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for.

You’re not overreacting, it’s normal to feel a little weird when someone shares something new. Just take it slow, talk openly, and remember: a fetish doesn’t define a whole relationship.

[Member]

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