[Anonymous]

Hey, great little forum you got here! Well i have a dilema myself. Let me introduce myself first.

I have experienced life and women, I seen a lot and done a lot, and I guess it shows in the way I behave and act towards people and women. I’m confident and outgoing and I have been told I’m a ladies man, though I disagree. Well I have gone back to school, (retired from the military) and am going for my associates. I like to learn new things, and I find I love college, I love people and I get bored so I try and do as much as I can. I volunteer at churches for Christ’s sake! I also just got a gym membership, I bond with my daughter, I like to go on dates, go dancing, take a lady out for dinner, whatever, nothing too serious. This is the best I have felt in a long time. I feel at my peak.

Well anyway i have met many great people while attending school, and I am shocked at how much things have changed as far as fashion, trends and morals go. In the military someone always has your back, but out here you’re on your own. Women are very revealing, easy targets, and some of these kids are just plain disrespectful, I find. One woman caught my eye though, she’s attractive, quiet, seems shy, sweet and timid…not sure if she’s my type but I find I watch her a lot, and I think she notices it, and even likes it, so why won’t she make a move? I like her innocence…she’s a mystery, and plus she’s also of the minority, as with myself. I’ve introduced myself, gotten to know her as I’ve come over and sat with her (she’s always by herself I notice) and talk with her. I’ve asked her several times for her number but she has never given it to me. She’s very friendly and smiles a lot, sweet girl, but at the same time she doesn’t budge. Hasn’t given me her digits or take my offers of giving her a ride, because she doesn’t have a car.

I also have asked to take her out to eat and she doesn’t say no, instead she looks nervous, like she doesn’t know what to say, and kinda just not answering lol. She hasn’t gone with me yet. Now I am not going to say she isn’t interested just yet, I mean I like to think I am attractive, I’m tall, dark and handsome, I make great conversation, I’m charming and respectful, but wise and funny. I can tell she really enjoys our talks! She has asked me questions about my intentions as if she doesn’t trust me, and she has caught me in small lies, too. But that’s not important. We have the same class and she’s quiet and seems shy, but I’ve seen her checking me out, looking over at me and when I look back she doesn’t look away, and we end up smiling at each other. I think there might be an unsaid intrigue on her part there, and I can feel a chemistry between us when we speak or make eye contact, so what’s her deal, why won’t she give me her number or let me take her out to dinner? I do speak to many women, I’m very friendly, yes. I’ve also flirted with her and it was well received it seemed.

So what gives?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

She’s exactly what you said she is: shy, timid and quiet. She’s not the type to make a move, given your description, and it seems like she likes you, but doesn’t have as much life experience as you do, so she’s a little intimidated and anxious about going out with you. Her questions about your intentions mean she’s afraid you’re a player who will take advantage of her, but her interested smiles and lingering glances means she wants you to prove to her that you’re not — and to work for the date! 😉

My advice is to win her over. Try bringing her a single rose. If she won’t go to a restaurant with you, bring her a coffee and a muffin one morning. Or tell her you’ve got movie tickets to a specific movie at a specific time, and you’d love to take her, but if she’d prefer to meet you at the theatre (her comfort zone may be different than yours), you’ll be there waiting for her. In fact, hand her one of the tickets and tell her you’d love it if she’d go with you.

Slow and steady wins the race and the women are the ones you have to work for! (I think you already know this.)

I hope this helps and that you’ll let me know how it goes.

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

[Anonymous]

Hmmmmmmm what gives huh maybe I should ask her lol jp. Ok I’ll help ya from everything you said it looks like shes physically attracted to you that’s very important to women if you intend on getting a date a kiss etc quickly. The problem here though is she’s afraid of all the bad things that could happen such as maybe your a player or your intensions are to get laid. Her personality is laid back and be very cautious and not a move maker. Basically if you want her you have to be persistent be unique and let her open up at her own pace. She may not be ready for what you want to do yet so she’s purposely slowing you down with the powers she has such as the number or not accepting a date. One of these days you will be pleasantly surprised and the best part is you two will have bonded so much you will probably end up in a longterm relationship. One idea have you ever asked her why she refuses to give out her number her excuse may help you understand what’s really going on. I will guess that she will try to simply change the topic over answering that but if she does that it tells you this… I have my reason as why I’m not giving it to you and I can’t directly tell you because that would be awkward when you remove the barrier I have as to the reason why I’ll give it to you. My guess is she shy and not ready to let you go where you want to go at least yet so your currently being restricted until she’s more prepared and comfortable. Give more info as to current status so we can evaluate the situation further the more info the better.

[Anonymous]

Hey thanks for the answers, I appreciate it!

I actually did ask her why, the first time I asked for her number we had just ended a conversation but she made an excuse I think, something about not having it or something. The last time I sorta asked, well not really but I did bring it up again as to try and make the idea more appealing to her, you know, as she was leaving I touched my phone and was thinking about asking but I said nah, I told her w/ a sly smile I said, I’m not gonna give you my number. Because you woulda asked or given it to me or something by now, can’t remember exactly how I worded it. And that’s true right? If a woman wants to call you she woulda asked for yours or given hers. So after I said that she said ok with a smile and followed that up with, I’m not gonna chase you if that’s what you want. I said I dont want you to chase to me, and somewhere during this idk kinda playful back & forth she said because i don’t know what your intentions are. & referring to Guest’s comment, yeah she does seem to have the power, yeah lol. So I was trying to get it back in a way, I said well we’ll keep it this way for now. We might get in trouble, that’s what I said.

And yeah she’s sweet and timid-like but I saw a new side to her that time and it was pretty attractive, I guess she thought by those comments I was telling her she wanted something from me and she was like all serious and emphasizing her point with hand like, look just because you may want something from me doesn’t mean I want something from you, and she was telling me to not speak that way to her basically, as if to say dont act like she wants something and that that is what our bonding is about and all.

I told her I liked that, she was like what, I said you’re stepping up, i like that, didn’t know you had it in you, and she referenced something i said in earlier (i told her she’s the type that you need to dig deep to get to know) and so in response to me liking that she stepped up she said yeah and you woulda never known that unless you digged deep enough right, and I laughed because I realized what she was referring to, and she backed up slowly and was leaving and as she was doing that she was like so now I’m ending this convo right here and I laughed, and I shouted out to her until next time though right? and she was like we’ll see. (but this was before we had our class together). But At that time she left like that I was thinking damn, she switched the power shift and took it back again hahaha. I just don’t know how to read her but it’s really appealing to me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Get my book, Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url], and read it. It will help you win this woman over and give you tools you don’t have right now. It’s a quick read and it’s going to improve your life — and mostly your love life! 😉

Let me know what you think of the book and how it changes things for you.

Until then, follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Nah I’m not trying to buy a book or find a way to win any woman over. I have lived a while and experienced many women, I have no problem in that area, trust me. I only wanted to know if she was playing a game, or if I’ve finally met my match.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Dating is a game, and if you want to win, you need help! I’m sorry you don’t want to buy the book I recommended. 🙁 The book sales help support this free advice I give you 😉 and everyone else.

It would be nice if you pitched in here.
😀

[jimamily]

April@ share articles (if there is any @ free) with retired, that will be helpful for retired.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hi[b] jimamily[/b]! Since your question is a new one, please post it as a new question, not as a link to this older one. Also, if you have a specific concern about relationships in retirement, I’d love to know what it is so I can better help you! 😉

You can also follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Member]

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