[YuiZ]

So I’d been dating this guy for 2 months before he broke up with me just before Christmas. It sucks because I really like him a lot and he would always tell me how lucky he felt being with me. I felt the same. He just seems like a rare kind of guy that I don’t come across that often at all. When he broke up with me, he said it was all on him and I hadn’t done anything (he claimed I was ‘perfect’ and never did anything wrong, lmao?) and, to be perfectly honest, I don’t really understand the exact reason he broke up with me. He went all over the place when he was ending it and explaining. Like, he said so himself that it sounded really generic but it was him and not me at all.

At first he claimed that it was because he felt bad for not seeing me enough, being busy, etc. He claimed that he feels super guilty over it and can’t control that or get over it. He said that he really cares about me still and wants to be friends still (saying he understood if I never wanted to see his face again blah blah blah). Then he said that he’s having some “mentality problems” that he (doesn’t want to discuss it either) wants to get through and doesn’t want to drag me along in the dirt. It concerned me a little, but there’s nothing I can do about it if he won’t allow me to support him. I’ll happily be around for him still if he needs me but doesn’t want to talk about it.

I hung out with him last week for a couple of hours, just walking around, talking and laughing, etc. Mainly so he could give me my Christmas present… We’re going to hang out again this week before New Year’s, and I’m wondering if there’s anything at all that I can do to increase my chances of us getting back together. I mean, I know him and he honestly doesn’t get jealous at all. So anything that involves making him jealous won’t work on him. Yeah, I know about the 30 day no-contact rule, but frankly I’m pretty sure that wouldn’t work on him either since it’s not like we were living together or anything before we broke up…

Any ideas? Or anything I can do when we hang out to trigger anything at all?

Note; It might seem pathetic wanting my ex back when we were only dating for 2 months, but I really do mean it when I say that he’s a good guy. I don’t want to move on without at least trying, I mean, I find him worthwhile and potentially saw him as someone that I could’ve had a long-term relationship with.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you’re not really sure why he broke up with you, it’s going to be difficult to try and be the girlfriend he wants. 😕 When couples break up, and one person wants to get back together again, it’s always a good idea for them to try and address the reason for the break up. But if you aren’t sure why he broke up with you, the best you can do is to be the girlfriend you think he wants…. be fun, flirty, interesting, attractive — and see where that takes you.

Also, understand that if you were dating for just two months, it’s possible that he decided in that get to know you amount of time, that you just weren’t his cup of tea. That happens. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It just means he didn’t think you were the one. Rejection is a drag, but it’s also a gift because it shows you which doors are closed — and which ones are open. It’s always healthy to avoid the doors that are closed, and look for those that are open. If he’s just not that into you, this might be just the opportunity you need to move on. 😉

[YuiZ]

[quote=”April Masini”]Since you’re not really sure why he broke up with you, it’s going to be difficult to try and be the girlfriend he wants. 😕 When couples break up, and one person wants to get back together again, it’s always a good idea for them to try and address the reason for the break up. But if you aren’t sure why he broke up with you, the best you can do is to be the girlfriend you think he wants…. be fun, flirty, interesting, attractive — and see where that takes you.

Also, understand that if you were dating for just two months, it’s possible that he decided in that get to know you amount of time, that you just weren’t his cup of tea. That happens. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. It just means he didn’t think you were the one. Rejection is a drag, but it’s also a gift because it shows you which doors are closed — and which ones are open. It’s always healthy to avoid the doors that are closed, and look for those that are open. If he’s just not that into you, this might be just the opportunity you need to move on. 😉[/quote]
He said to my face when he was breaking up with me, he wanted to clarify, that I was “perfect” and “one of the most amazing girls he’s ever met”. Like okay, he said it was all on him and I’m certain he meant it. If I wasn’t his type or right for him then I don’t see why he’d lie and claim that. It’s not that he wasn’t telling me the real reason for breaking up with me, it’s just that he said so much at once that I’ve completely confused myself. I know that the main reason he broke up with me is because he’s having some mental issues that he doesn’t want to talk about. But the reason I said I don’t know is because I think he was using the “I haven’t seen you much recently” thing because he didn’t want to talk about whatever issues he’s been having with himself recently.

He doesn’t want to drag me along in the dirt while he deals with the “mental issues” he’s been having.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well… if the reason he broke up with you has nothing to do with you, it’s very difficult to try and make any changes to get him back. It sounds like he needs to be on his own and get his “mental issues” together, whatever they are.

[Member]

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