[yorgosk]

Hi April, I would really like your advice because I dont have much experience and with so much information out there it can get kind of confusing.
The situation is the following: I met the guy(31), asked for my number. Four days later we went on our first date, from then on it was five weeks of great dates (about 8), dinners, coffee, walks on the beach, no sex. We had contact daily and out of the blue his behaviour pattern changed. I obviously panicked but decided not to make a big deal about it.
Two days went by and he sent me a text saying he had been busy but he was now reporting himself, I said it was no big deal, that I was busy too. The following day I suggested coffee and he was very eager to see me. We had a wonderful encounter. The weekend went by, in which thanks to facebook, I know he was out partying with friends and on the following monday he texted me, just a hello. I texted back, no answer and then he rang me and we chatted as usual. The weekend came, he was out with friends again, no communication whatsoever.
Now Im reading blogs about this, about guys blowing hot and cold and how its best to just be cool whenever he does contact me and maybe text him once in a while but I feel something is not right. Should I give it time, move on for him not respecting me?? Is he letting me down easy, cowardly disappearing?? Should I even keep his phone number and be his friend on facebook?? I really need some light. Thank you so much!

[blindsided]

i wish i had an answer for you. your post caught my attention because i can relate to it. i was just recently ‘dumped’, after being stood up just this past weekend. this was after a just a few days before he sent me a new pic of himself and was all lovey dovey calling me ‘babygirl’. i haven’t contacted him beyond leaving a vm the night i was stood up simply saying ‘say it isn’t so, are you standing me up?’ i knew that call would go to vm, and of course he didn’t call me back. i haven’t texted or called since then, most women plead and beg and i’ve read enough over the years to know that’s a big mistake. i feel your pain. all i can say is don’t contact him, let him wonder what you’re up to and let him wonder why you’re not contacting him. i can only hope the guy who did this to me is wondering why i haven’t contacted him. they’re just such friggin cowards. i wish he’d have had the balls to verbally end it, so i could’ve had the satisfaction of agreeing with him, even if this makes me sad. that catches them off guard. good luck to you.

[Ask April Masini]

Nothing happens out of the blue. What you have to remember is that while you had eight great dates, you both have your own lives, and he was probably playing the field, as he assumed you to be, too. I know that you thought things were going towards monogamy, but I usually counsel people never to assume you’re in a relationship — especially during the first three months when it’s safe to say you’re both getting to know each other and deciding whether or not to continue investing in each other.

I agree with [b]blindsided[/b] that you shouldn’t contact him. And yes, it would be really great if everyone considered each others’ feelings and had the courage to be clear and upfront about behavior — especially when he stopped contacting you altogether after eight great dates. But it’s fair to assume he’s moved on, and my advice is that you should, too.

Take what you learned from this experience and apply it to your dating life from here on in. 😀

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[StephieS]

Thank you kkiker and randi for the feedback. I am still deciding if I want to read it. Kkiker, if you do not mind, can you tell me who are the worth hero in your opinion in Dark series, maybe it will help me to decide finaly.

[Ask April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

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