[soapgirl411]

There is this guy at work but we don’t work in the same building. The place I work has facilities all over. I first started thinking he liked me when I noticed him staring at me then he looked away. So then another time I said hello and he kind of stuttered and just said good morning. Then another time I said hi and he said hey and my name with a big smile on his face. So whenever I see him he always says hey and my name. He never stops and wants to chat. So I decided to email him because he recently moved to the other facility. We use to be in the same building but I never saw him and he is a fairly new employee. He answered with about two sentences and he also wrote hey my name and an exclamation point (I thought that showed excitement). I emailed him one more time and he did not respond. He still said hey even after the email. So then one time we have an instant messenger at work and I sent him a message. I asked him how his job was going and he responded that it was going good and that he is really busy because he started a new job and was still working his old job. So I left him alone after that. So three to 4 months later I decided to ask him out to lunch on the weekend because we both work at different facilities and I don’t think he has time. He never answered my email and I don’t know if he got it or not. So I gave him about 4 weeks to respond and he never did. So I instant messaged him if he got my email and he never responded. After that it was a month since I saw him again and he still said hey. So I was relieved. So my guessing If he likes me has been going on for about 6 months now. I guess my answer could be obvious but he does things that confuse me. When we see each for the first time on a day we both just stare at each other for a few seconds and then we just look away. I was thinking maybe he was shy. He seems to talk well to employees when he fixes their computers, does that mean he is not shy then?. When he comes to my area I catch him a few times looking in my room. I don’t know if that means anything. He knows what is in there and there is nothing in there he needs. I almost ran into him once and he didn’t hurry up to get away. I don’t know if he has a girlfriend or not. He is younger then me. I have tried to strike up a conversation with him but he seems to be really busy with work. I know he is truly busy/ Someone at work told me that he seems too distracted when she tries to talk to him. Its an older lady. I don’t know if he just doesn’t want a relationship or he doesn’t want to date someone from work or he just doesn’t like me. I am so confused. I have read on the internet that a guy would pursue you if he was interested but is there a difference if its at work or if their shy? I have waited for him to make a move but he never has. Is the staring a good thing or a bad thing? Is it normal for a guy to say hey and your name? I am very shy myself and it took a lot of guts for me to ask him out to lunch. He might think I am agressive but I am not. I have given plenty of time to make a move and he has not. So is it obvious to say he has no interest in me? I would love to hear your thoughts, please answer. Its driving me crazy not knowing if he likes me or not. I am too nervous to ask him and I hardly ever see him. thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re going down the wrong path with this guy — you need to read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you understand what his body language and behavior REALLY means and how you can GET HIM to chase you without becoming a stalker (which you’re getting very close to! 😕 ). Stop doing what you’re doing — men don’t want women to chase them, and you can see that what you’re doing isn’t working if you don’t believe me. If you’ve asked him out twice and he hasn’t responded, he’s not interested — but his staring at you is telling you otherwise.

Get this book and read it this weekend! It’s got an entire chapter on what his body language means and how you can get him to go after you — which is really what makes men feel good about themselves and the woman they’re chasing. You can buy the book on Amazon or Barnes & Noble websites or right here for an automatic download [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], that will make your 2012 a year full of GETTING THE GUY!!

I hope that helps and that you buy and read the book — please let me know what happens after you read it and start following the tips and advice in it! 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter!

[soapgirl411]

Hi April,
Thanks for the advice. Just to let you know that I did buy your book and I am waiting for it to be shipped. What do you mean about the staring? I only asked him once and I have not emailed him or done anything since September. I have left him alone and I am glad he still says hi. I am looking forward to reading your book.

thanks.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Great — let me know what you think after you read it, and if you have questions at that time, let’s discuss them then. 😉

[soapgirl411]

Hi April,
I read your book. The information was very helpful. I realized what I was doing wrong. I still don’t understand about the staring since he does not smile. I have not pursued him since September. He has stared at me again recently, still says hello and still has not made a move. I know I need to work on becoming more confident. Thanks again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re welcome! 😀 I’m glad that Think & Date Like A Man [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] worked for you.

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[soapgirl411]

Dear April,
I met this guy online and we started dating. We would email, text and IM every day. We were in a relationship for 5 months and only went on dates 3 times. During the time we talked he went out of the country for 10 days. The day after he left, I got a call from a withheld number claiming to be his wife and harassing me. She said to stay away from him and that she knows where I work and where I live. I remember on the last date that he said his mom was not like other mom’s and she wants him to be with his ex girlfriend who he broke up with twice before. I told him about it and he said it was probably his mom. He said she did this once before. Then she started harassing me by text messaging me and calling me. He didn’t think it was a big deal because she won’t do anything. I even filed a police report on her. Then I found out later on that the woman his mom wanted him to be with started harassing me. Then my mom got involved and started harassing her. I had her number blocked so she couldn’t harass me anymore. He still couldn’t talk to his mom. I know that if he really cared about me he would of stood up for me but he didn’t. The final nail in the coffin is when we went to a baseball game together and she found out that I was going to be there. So then called me from another phone and I didn’t answer. Then she had to call her son and after that he would hardly talk to me and I knew something was wrong. He wouldn’t answer my texts for two days and then I finally got a hold of him by email. He then said we couldn’t be together because he doesn’t know what to believe anymore and there was too much trouble with our families. His mom said that my mom was harassing his mom and saying that he kidnapped me. It was just all a big lie and he believe her over me.I thought he really cared about me and maybe loved me by telling me that he was glad that god brought me into his life, I opened his eyes to a lot things that he thought he would or could do, I was the one he wanted to have kids with, he felt something with me that he never felt before. So the relationship was over.
I found out 2 weeks later that he was engaged to this woman that he has broke up with twice, said that he didn’t love her and he was only in the relationship because his mother wanted him there. Of course when I found this out I was heartbroken. I have always wondered if what he said was true or actions are bigger than words. I am thinking that he never loved me because he is now married to her. I think how can he marry a woman who he supposedly hates just because his mom wants him to? The mother hated me even before meeting me and I know now that I don’t want anything to do with her. I did fall in love with him and it took me a while to figure that out. I fought it so long and waited till it was too late. I told him I loved him but he still ended it. He will be my first love. I was told I bit a bullet which is probably true. I didn’t really get any closure from this and I have such a hard time understanding why he is with her and if he really cared for me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I guess your question is the title question, “Why is he with her? ” The answer is, because he wants to be. 😉 Not every guy you date is going to be into you, and not every guy who is into you will have his feelings reciprocated. That’s just the way life works. Don’t take rejection too personally. Not everyone is a match for each other, and figuring out who is and who isn’t is what dating is all about. 😀

I know you’re very involved in the details of this situation, but the reality is that you went on three dates with a guy, it didn’t work out and he married someone else. Next! Don’t waste another minute thinking about him. Find someone who is available and interested in you. 😉

And next time around, play the field and understand that if a guy only takes you on 3 dates in 5 months, he’s not that interested. 😉 It doesn’t matter what he says to you — what he does is what you should look to to gauge his true interest. Use these lessons and take them into your next relationship so you can be more successful next round. 🙂

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[soapgirl411]

Thank you for the advice. I appreciate it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome, and good luck!

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
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And… you can follow my interviews and advice in the press on Twitter [i]@AskAprilcom[/i][/b]

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