[Christie]

I met a guy when I was travelling recently, we had an amazing connection and we decided we must meet up when he finishes his travels after the summer. We spoke on email and skype for the few weeks up until now and decided it definitely was not just a holiday fling and that we were basically meant for each other. In the past two weeks he has not contacted me and I have sent him a few emails one was asking why. He kept making dates to speak online and then never did. Then I tried to skype him when he was online and he just cancelled my call. After this I emailed him pouring my heart out, telling him how I felt and now I still have’t heard from him.

Now I know many of you will say that this was just a holiday fling and he’s lost interest. I knew though he felt really strongly about me. When we spoke the first few times he was asking if we were a couple and said he was scared someone would steal me whilst he was away. He then claimed he missed me too much and that I should join him. Later we decided it was best for us to meet up when he got back home so we could be alone and we could see if we still liked each other after the months.

Now my question is, what do I do now? I feel like I really messed things up by trying to contact him when really, he’s away travelling so he can’t talk that easily. Then I sent this huge email pouring my heart out to him when really I should have just left it and I think he would have contacted me. Of course we barely know each other as we only spent one week together so my actions have basically made me look a bit paranoid and crazy.

I don’t know what to do because I really think this guy is the one for me and I know he was thinking the same thing.

Help!

Thank you in advance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, understand that when someone you’ve just met blasts you with tidal waves of emotion, and says things like “you’re meant to be,” “you’re the one” and that he’s afraid someone will steal you away — he’s probably saying the same things to other women, too. 😳 Dating is a process that is extremely useful if you actually employ it! You can get to know someone over time if you allow yourself that luxury, but if you don’t, and you jump into something that hasn’t had a chance to play out, you may find you’re in love with Mr. Wrong before you even got a chance to realize he was Mr. Wrong.

Consider baking. You put all the ingredients into the bowl, mix it up and bake it but you don’t want to wait the required hour for the cake to bake because you just know this cake is going to be amazing no matter what, and you take the cake out after twenty minutes and bite into it and it tastes like terrible, uncooked dough. You start trying to convince yourself that there’s a huge problem here because you added all the ingredients — flour, sugar, eggs, vanilla, baking soda, salt….. so, what gives? Answer: You didn’t give it time.

The next mistake, as you know, was pursuing him. One of the worst things you can do is start pouring your heart to some guy BECAUSE he’s not calling you. Seriously — do you really expect him to think you’re this great, confident woman who’s a real catch, and who he’s lucky to get if he hurries? 😕 It’s MUCH BETTER to give a guy something to chase because if he doesn’t, you know he’s not interested and you can move on and if he does, you’ve given him the greatest gift a relationship can have — he feels great about winning you over.

So, in response to your question about what you should do now, the answer is: move on. He’s not the one. If he is, he’ll come around. But more likely, he’s not interested any more. Use this rejection as a gift to find someone who is interested and wants to date you! 😉

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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