[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and i have been doing the long distance thing since the beginning of our relationship( we met on a dating site), im 29, and he is 31 not that age plays into this much, but this is my first ldr that has lasted longer than 3 months, It will be 6 months in January we have been doing this and the thing is we only see each other on weekends. He lives 1hr 45 min away from me, we have talked about me moving down there, once i get some stuff in order with a car(car issues over the summer) and i just recently got a new job at a credit union.
I wouldnt be wasting my time on him if i didnt feel secure in this relationship, he is something else in a good way, we have such chemistry when we are together, we laugh, get each others humor,and his family and friends love me!
We get along so well, but there is one problem.. and i dont want it to continue.. or at least, i want to talk to him about it now before it becomes a bigger issue. Our communication during the week is VERY minimum.. maybe a few texts during the day or night.. and maybe we will talk on the phone 2-3 nights per week for 20-30 min a night. He usually calls before bed, or ill call him if i have something important to say. The thing is he is not a talker, and i am. I tend to ramble when i get on a topic, or just be completely random at times which can be fun, but for him it doesn’t seem that way. Like i said earlier, its just when were apart that i feel like something is missing, i guess i just hear from other friends/couples that they talk/text multiple times a day, and they live in the same town/city.
I dont have to talk to him every day, which i dont right now, but the thing that bothers me is i know he has his cell phone on him 75% of the time, other than when he is sleeping, or at work.. i know he is getting my texts, but he sometimes wont respond for hours after i message him… but when I’m with him on the weekends, his phone is attached to his hip and he is always looking at it! I really dont care because I’m always on my phone as well, especially with social network sites and texting, but i get back to ppl or tell them I’m busy and ill talk to them later or whatever if I’m at work.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated, or if im being ridiculous then maybe i need a reality check?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

My first piece of advice is that you NOT be the one to move to be closer to him. It’s very important in relationships to let the man be the one to do the chasing. Men love to win and if they feel that they’ve won a hard earned prize (YOU!) they’re going to feel better about themselves. When you make it too easy for him, you deem yourself the booby prize — not the grand first place trophy. 😳

Your example of his not returning your texts and other messages timely are just another example of his not having to chase after you. Instead…you’re always there (like a doormat).

Get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url] or buy on Amazon or the website for Barnes & Noble, and read it so you don’t make mistakes that will lead you down the wrong dating roads.

My second piece of advice to you is not to create a problem where there is none. It sounds like he’s not a talker and you are. Instead of trying to get him to come around to your way of life, why don’t you accept that things are good except that you have this one difference. He’s not neglecting you, and you have other people in your life with whom you can ramble on if you feel the need to do so.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and join me @AskAprilcom (no dot!) on Twitter, and on Facebook: [url][/url].

[Member]

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