[Anonymous]

Dear April,

I am currently an 18 year old male. When I was around 10, I started ‘dating’ this girl at my school, called Natalie. I dated her from the age of 10 until I was about 12, and they were very happy years indeed.

However, I have come to ask for your help concerning someone else. Whilst I was dating Natalie, a friend of hers was madly ‘in love’ with me (remember, we are 10-12 years old) (I was only told about this recently, I did not know at the time). She liked me for those entire 2 years, and, eclipsed by my attention towards Natalie, I never paid her much attention at the time. She is called Victoria.

By the time my relationship with Natalie came to an end, at an age of 13, Victoria had already become a very good friend of mine, who’d always helped me out with Natalie, even though she ‘loved’ me (I didn’t know). We developed a very strong bond of friendship, entwined with a strong feeling of chemistry towards one another. However, at the time, she had already started paving her own path, and started coming out with dates of her own. Victoria has always been a beautiful girl, and other boys have always tried (mostly, in vain) to attract her attention.

Our friendship grew stronger and stronger, and I have always known that it was special for the both of us. I could tell from her eyes, her touch, the way she spoke and, of course, from what her friends told me 😉. However, being a very shy person, I never had the guts to actually do something about it, and in the meanwhile she’d date some other guy. I even got around to liking other girls, too, but my ‘special relationship’ with Victoria never faded. As Emily Bronte perfectly describes it in Wuthering Heights;

“My love for [other girls] is like the foliage in the woods: time will change it, I’m well aware, as winter changes the trees. My love for [Victoria] resembles the eternal rocks beneath: a source of little visible delight, but necessary.”

I am certain that the feeling was mutual. She even once scratched my name into her hand with the sharp side of a school compass. A slight scar with my name is visible till today. ***This did not cause any serious injury, just to make things clear***

However, she eventually got around to dating this idiot, who was compulsive, obsessed and a terrible influence on her. I let her know I hated him, hoping she’d let him go. His mother died during their relationship, and she felt she couldn’t do so. I got very annoyed and became reclusive, convinced the Universe somehow owed her to me. We spoke very little for a whole year, I’d always shun her, and she’d always try to have me back.

When their relationship was over, she was sent to England by her parents (to boarding school) and she has been living there for 2 years. She is now dating this Italian guy, an 18 year-old too, and I don’t like him either. After 5 years of this indomitable attraction between us, we kissed fervently, on the 11th of August of last year, when she came over to visit (without her boyfriend). She was already dating this Italian, but she (obviously) betrayed him. We were, however, both drunk. She was the one who came up to me and dragged me off to a corner. She felt ashamed the next day, however, for betraying her boyfriend’s trust, and we did not kiss again.

It has now been nearly a year, and she has come over to visit us again. Her Italian boyfriend came along too this time and, after I expressed my distaste towards him to her (at a party), she was visibly upset. At the end of the party, however, she rapidly squeezed my hand (and I found Heaven when I felt the touch of her hand, which I know so well, pressing on mine), gazed into my eyes, and said she’d be back to visit us again on the 17th and added: “without my boyfriend”. This all happened very quickly, but her gaze was very distinct, and I felt that I could tell what she meant by that (that we’d kiss again etc.)

I’m terribly sorry for such a long post, April, but my question is: Do you think that is what she meant? I know they’ve been dating for over a year, but he is soon going off to live in the U.S. whilst she’ll carry on in England, and I will be going to England too (VERY HAPPY about it) to university. Do you think we’ll kiss again? How should I act?

And finally: Do you think this is true love between us? I once told her, when she was dating the idiot I described above, that her dating him upset me terribly, and that I would easily marry her. She said she would too. We were 16 though.

I have felt the same way for 6 years, even though she lived in a different continent for 2 of those years, and I rarely spoke to her/saw her. I am quite confident she feels the same. Our song is Eric Clapton’s ‘Wonderful Tonight’, and I recorded myself playing it and sent it to her via Youtube. I would easily marry her today, anyday, or anytime. I am prepared to wait forever.

Kind Regards,

Henry Schubert

[Ask April Masini]

Ask her out on a date. And then another and another. You need to start dating her and see if there is a romantic relationship possibility now that you’re 18 and not a younger teenager. 😉

Your romantic nature is great, but you need to balance it with a practical approach to dating. “Hating” on her boyfriends isn’t the best approach, but stepping up and competing with them is. 😀

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[happysri]

dear april..
do plese get my lover back.i and my BF wher in love for 5yrs.we alwys have fights n misunderstndg bcoz of me.i wil fight misunderstnd him.but he used to adjust with me loves me much.but now i m fine changed myself…but he alwaz feels that he dont have a sister from childhood.so in his college he meet a girl and had a very true brother sister relationship all by my permission.now she left and went becoz her parents told her to not talk with my BF.so she went.and so my BF is so depressed and showing all that aggressions on me over 6 months.already our caste is a prob.his parents wont accept me for my caste but then too he loved me having some hope.but after a prob by this girl he completly lost hope in marrying me.he is in so vexed state.he s not deserving me.i tried a lot lot lot.but hes sayin me to be stable n stay away do prepared to what eva my parents say either yes or no.he is strong enough now even to leav me..but i know all that in that pain he is hurting me.but i dont know how to make him realize.coz he dont want to give a pain for me in future when his parents say no to him.coz he had that pain becoz of that girl as a brother.they both are same college.i am in diff place far from him.itz so tough to make him remember me too.even now if i spek he will atten but he told to not speak daily n many conditions killing me by being rude..so i ve decided to not talk for 5months untill he realize my absence n come to me.will it help him come back????or what can i do to make him feel my love and pain…plzzzzzzzz help plzz!!!

[happysri]

dear april…do plese get my lover back.i and my BF wher in love for 5yrs.we alwys have fights n misunderstndg bcoz of me.i wil fight misunderstnd him.but he used to adjust with me loves me much.but now i m fine changed myself…but he alwaz feels that he dont have a sister from childhood.so in his college he meet a girl and had a very true brother sister relationship all by my permission.now she left and went becoz her parents told her to not talk with my BF.so she went.and so my BF is so depressed and showing all that aggressions on me over 6 months.already our caste is a prob.his parents wont accept me for my caste but then too he loved me having some hope.but after a prob by this girl he completly lost hope in marrying me.he is in so vexed state.he s not deserving me.i tried a lot lot lot.but hes sayin me to be stable n stay away do prepared to what eva my parents say either yes or no.he is strong enough now even to leav me..but i know all that in that pain he is hurting me.but i dont know how to make him realize.coz he dont want to give a pain for me in future when his parents say no to him.coz he had that pain becoz of that girl as a brother.they both are same college.i am in diff place far from him.itz so tough to make him remember me too.even now if i spek he will atten but he told to not speak daily n many conditions killing me by being rude..so i ve decided to not talk for 5months untill he realize my absence n come to me.will it help him come back????or what can i do to make him feel my love and pain…plzzzzzzzz help plzz!!!

[Ask April Masini]

Please start a new thread for your new question! 😀

I’m very happy to answer it, but this thread belongs to someone else.

[happysri]

i could not understand to what you ve said…???can u say it clearly

[happysri]

dear april.
i juz need a right solution for my problem…..do please suggest me a solution for my problem to make my lover feel me n miss me….. 😥

[happysri]

dear april may i know where u have replied for me???i cant find your reply….

[Ask April Masini]

Start a new thread for your question! 😀 I’ll answer it there.

[Ethan Morales]

It’s clear that you and she share a long history and a deep emotional connection. From your early friendship to the mutual attraction that’s persisted for years, there is an undeniable bond between you two. The intensity of your feelings, the way you recall her gestures and the shared history, suggest that you both care for each other in a meaningful, consistent way. That said, it’s important to recognize the age and maturity factor at 18, emotions feel overwhelming, but life and relationships are still in development.

The fact that she is currently in a relationship with someone else complicates things. Her actions during her previous visit initiating a kiss while under the influence indicate strong feelings for you, but they also show a level of emotional and moral ambiguity. It’s crucial to be cautious about interpreting her behavior as a guarantee of future actions or commitment. Alcohol, heightened emotions, and unresolved situations from the past can cloud judgment, and she may have been acting impulsively rather than making a fully considered choice.

It’s worth noting that her relationship with her current boyfriend is still ongoing. Even if she says she’ll return “without my boyfriend,” this does not automatically give you a green light to assume she’s leaving him or will make the same choices again. Respecting boundaries, including hers and the existence of her current relationship, is critical. Acting on assumptions or pursuing her aggressively could jeopardize both your friendship and any potential future romance.

Regarding your question about “true love,” it’s important to differentiate between deep emotional attachment and long-term compatibility. Love is not only about intensity or years of feelings; it’s also about respect, timing, shared values, and mutual growth. You clearly have a strong emotional bond, but whether it translates into a healthy adult relationship will depend on communication, maturity, and life circumstances. Your long history makes the potential stronger, but it’s not an automatic guarantee.

when she visits again, focus on observing her actions rather than overinterpreting gestures or unspoken intentions. Let her lead in terms of emotional and physical intimacy, and maintain clear personal boundaries. This will prevent you from being hurt if things don’t unfold as you hope. Expressing your feelings calmly and honestly, without pressuring her, will communicate your intentions and allow her to make her own decisions responsibly.

Patience and perspective are your best allies here. You’re at the start of adult life, heading into university in a new country, and both of you are still growing. You clearly care deeply for her, and that care is genuine, but rushing into assumptions or actions could backfire. Focus on building trust, mutual respect, and clear communication. If your feelings are truly aligned and both of you are willing to make intentional choices, then your bond has a chance to evolve into a meaningful, lasting relationship.

[Natalie Noah]

This has been a constant in your life for so many years. You’ve built a strong emotional bond that has endured distance, other relationships, and the challenges of growing up, which shows that your connection is truly special. What strikes me most is your awareness of how mutual your feelings are the touches, the looks, the small signals she gives you yet there’s also a lot of uncertainty because of timing, alcohol, and other relationships. This is a very real teenage-to-young-adult dynamic where emotions are intense but can get tangled in context, jealousy, and assumptions.

It’s important, though, to approach this with care. Her actions squeezing your hand, making plans to visit “without her boyfriend” could indeed indicate that she’s attracted to you and feels a special connection. But because she is currently in a relationship, any romantic step requires clarity and honesty. You need to make sure that you are both acting consciously, not impulsively, and that she is genuinely ready to pursue a connection without compromising herself or anyone else. Acting in haste could lead to regrets or misunderstandings.

The practical next step is what April advised: ask her out properly, on real dates where you can spend time together as potential partners, not just relying on old feelings or secretive signals. Keep things light, focused on getting to know each other in this new phase of life as adults or near adults rather than trying to recreate your childhood dynamic. Show her that you are serious, confident, and capable of being a supportive partner, without pressuring or competing with her current boyfriend directly. Your genuine care and patience are your strengths, but they need to be grounded in clear communication and consent.

What you have is a strong, enduring connection, but “true love” in practice also depends on mutual respect, honesty, and being present for each other as adults. You’ve both matured a lot since those early years, and love at 18 is different from love at 12. it’s about choices, commitment, and shared values as much as chemistry. Focus on building that foundation now, and you’ll know more clearly whether this is the real, lasting relationship you hope it to be. Your feelings are beautiful, Henry, but they need direction and conscious action to flourish.

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