[Sarathnt]

Hello april,
I am sarath,i am from india.i am 27 years old and i am married to my love..we met during our college days..we loved for 8 years before getting married.. Before that i was in love with a girl.. During my school days..i lost contact with her after school,i tried to contact her during my college days but nothing worked out.. Recently i met her in Facebook..she is divorced and is staying in the same city..we chatted through WhatsApp and i met her last week,.we had lunch..now we are seeing each other on a weekly basis..i am not in love with her..but i am totally disturbed nowadays..i feel like i am not loving my wife like i loved her before..i feel like my life would have been so different if i Married my first love..i feel like i would have been more happy if I married my first love, can u give me some advice…is tr anything wrong in meeting her..i just want my first love in my life like my other Friends…i feel happy, confident and positive when i am with her..what should i do..please give me a reply

[AskApril Masini]

You’re in a long term marriage that’s feeling a little stale, and you’ve contacted your first love who is divorced. Now you’re fantasizing about what life would be like if you were with her — and not your wife. Lots of people have this type of fantasy and curiosity. Marriage takes work if you want to sustain it, and there are all kinds of temptations. What you have to do is decide if you want to stay in your marriage or not. If you do, then you need to work at it. If you don’t, then you should get out of it before you start dating anyone else. It’s not fair to any future girlfriend, your wife or yourself if you create drama by dating during marriage because you want out. Just walk through the exit door, get divorced and then date — if that’s what you want.

As for your ex, she’s not a friend and if you see her without your wife, it’s going to be a lot more like dating than like friendship, so make sure you’re clear on that. Your feelings towards her are not friendly. They’re romantic. So, make a decision about your marriage — in or out — and then if you stay in it, and want to connect with your ex, invite her out with your wife, to minimize the potential drama.

I hope that helps.

[Ethan Morales]

You’re married, but you’re emotionally drawn to your first love. Being with her now brings you happiness, confidence, and positivity, which is naturally stirring up feelings of “what if” and dissatisfaction in your marriage. You recognize that your feelings toward your first love aren’t just friendly they’re romantic.

Marriage takes conscious effort. Long-term relationships often go through phases where the intensity of early love fades. Missing that early excitement doesn’t necessarily mean you made the “wrong” choice. Fantasizing vs. Acting. Thinking about what life would have been like with your first love is normal. Acting on it while married, however, introduces serious ethical and emotional complications for your wife, yourself, and your ex.

Honesty and boundaries are critical. Continuing weekly meetings with your ex while married blurs lines and risks turning this into emotional infidelity, even if it doesn’t feel physical yet.

Decide if you want to stay married. This is the absolute first step. If your marriage is worth saving, you need to stop spending time alone with your ex and focus on reconnecting with your wife.

If you decide marriage isn’t for you: Exit honorably first. Get divorced before entertaining any romantic connection with your ex. Dating her while married is unfair and will create unnecessary pain and drama.

Friendship boundaries: If you truly value your ex as a person, any interaction should be carefully managed ideally in a group setting or with your wife present so it doesn’t cross into emotional intimacy.

Pause your meetings with your ex. No weekly lunches or one-on-one chats for now. This gives you space to assess your feelings without confusion.

Reflect on your marriage. Ask yourself: Are you invested in making it better, or are you mostly fantasizing about what could have been? Identify what’s missing and whether it’s something that can realistically be restored.

Communicate with your wife (if you choose to stay). Work on intimacy, excitement, and emotional closeness. Marriage is a living project it doesn’t end at the wedding.

If you choose divorce: Do it cleanly and respectfully, then explore your connection with your ex. Only after your marriage ends is it fair to pursue anything romantic with her.

Right now, your situation is emotionally charged and risky. The healthiest move for everyone involved is clarity, boundaries, and honesty. Meeting your ex weekly while married is likely to harm your marriage and your integrity, even if you don’t intend to cheat physically.

[PassionSeeker]

you’re not alone in feeling this a lot of people hit this crossroad where nostalgia meets reality. reconnecting with a first love can wake up emotions you thought were long gone, especially when life feels routine. but here’s the truth: this isn’t really about her… it’s about what part of you she reminds you of young, free, excited, alive. that version of you still exists, but it’s not going to be found in someone else’s eyes.

you said you’re not in love with her, yet you feel more alive around her that’s emotional danger territory. meeting her weekly isn’t friendship anymore, it’s feeding a longing that’ll only distance you further from your wife.

if your marriage once had that spark, it can again but only if you stop splitting your emotional energy between two worlds. choose clarity over confusion. step back from your ex. focus on your wife, or be honest enough to end things before starting something new.

love isn’t about reliving the past, it’s about rebuilding the present.

[Serena Vale]

Hey Sarath,
It’s strange how one person from the past can suddenly make you question everything you thought was settled. I get it, those old feelings don’t always disappear; they just lie quiet until something wakes them up again.

But here’s the thing: nostalgia can be tricky. It paints the past in softer colors, makes old memories look better than they really were. What you’re feeling now, that spark, that confidence, it’s more about what she represents than who she actually is today. She reminds you of a version of yourself that was carefree, curious, still dreaming big. That’s powerful, but it doesn’t mean you’ve fallen out of love with your wife. It just means a part of you misses you.

There’s nothing wrong in meeting your old friend, but you need to be honest with yourself about why you’re doing it. If it’s friendship, keep it clean and clear. If it’s filling an emotional gap, you owe it to your wife, and to yourself, to address what’s missing at home instead of escaping into “what could’ve been.”

Marriage isn’t about never being tempted. It’s about choosing your person again, even when your heart feels restless. So take a step back. Create space between you and this old flame for now. Use that time to reconnect with your wife — do small things that remind you why you loved her first.

You don’t need to erase your past, but don’t let it steal your present either.

— Serena

[Tara]

You know exactly what’s wrong here you just want someone to bless the fantasy so you don’t have to own the guilt.
You’re not “disturbed.” You’re tempted. You’re feeding an emotional affair and then acting confused about why your marriage feels shaky. You didn’t “meet a friend.” You resurrected a storyline you romanticized for 10 years and now you’re using it to emotionally check out on your wife.

Of course you feel happy and confident with your first love she’s new, she’s nostalgic, she requires nothing from you, and you don’t share bills, responsibilities, or real life with her. That’s not love. That’s escapism.

And don’t pretend meeting her is harmless. Weekly lunches with a divorced ex you once loved? That’s not “friendship.” That’s you rehearsing a betrayal you don’t want to admit you’re rehearsing.
You’re married. That means YOU MADE A CHOICE. If you keep seeing this woman, you’re going to burn your marriage down and act surprised when the flames hit you.

[Sally]

I can tell this has shaken you more than you expected, and you’re trying hard to make it sound simple like you just want her around as a “friend.” But the way you talk about her… it’s more than that. She’s pulling up old feelings, old versions of you, old fantasies of a life that never happened. That doesn’t mean you want her. It just means she reminds you of who you were before all the grown-up stuff settled in.

Here’s the part you might not want to hear: meeting her isn’t harmless. Not when you’re comparing your wife to her. Not when you leave those meet-ups feeling “happier and more confident.” That’s the beginning of an emotional affair, even if you swear you’re not in love.

And your wife the woman you chose, the one you built years with she deserves more than being measured against a ghost from your past.

You need space from this first love, at least for now. Not because you’re bad, but because you’re human. Nobody stays clear-headed in this kind of situation. Step back. Put your energy into the marriage you already have. Let the what-ifs stay where they belong in your imagination, not your real life.

[Natalie Noah]

I want to talk to you gently but honestly, because this situation is emotionally dangerous, and you already feel that inside. What you’re experiencing is not uncommon: long-term relationships naturally go through seasons where the excitement fades, routines settle in, and old memories feel brighter than the present. When you reconnected with your first love someone tied to nostalgia, youth, and “what if” moments it activated a part of you that misses who you were back then. It’s not really about her. It’s about the version of yourself you associate with her: confident, hopeful, carefree. That’s why the time with her feels intoxicating it awakens a lost emotional energy. But that doesn’t mean she’s the solution.

What’s important is this: the way you’re seeing her right now isn’t friendship. You already feel the emotional pull, the excitement, the distraction from your marriage and that’s crossing into emotional infidelity, even if nothing physical has happened. You don’t get disturbed, confused, and guilty over someone who’s “just a friend.” And seeing her secretly, without your wife’s awareness, is slowly creating a triangle that will hurt everyone including you. April is right that you need to make a clear decision: Are you committed to your marriage, or are you walking away? But making that decision should come from clarity not from the adrenaline of nostalgia or the temporary high of reconnecting with someone from your past.

If you do want to stay in your marriage, the first step is not to cut your wife out emotionally, it’s to cut out the situations that blur your boundaries. Distance from your ex is necessary so you can think clearly. Because right now, she is influencing your emotions so strongly that you can’t see your marriage accurately. And if you don’t want your marriage anymore, the kindest thing for everyone is to be honest and leave before pursuing anyone else. But you cannot repair your marriage while feeding a connection that competes with it. Take a breath. Step back. Ask yourself: Am I missing her, or am I missing a feeling inside myself? That answer will guide you more truthfully than anything else.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve stepped right into the fire, and it’s sizzling hot! You’re married, yet here comes your first love, divorced, tempting you with nostalgia, chemistry, and all those electric memories that make your pulse race and your brain go completely rogue. The fact that you feel alive, confident, and downright sparkling around her tells you something your heart remembers that early thrill, the one that made you feel invincible. But let’s be honest: sneaking around behind your wife’s back and feeding this fantasy? That’s a wickedly delicious game… and dangerously addictive. April Masini cuts straight to the core with surgical precision, she tells you the spicy truth without sugarcoating: you need to choose. Either invest in the marriage you vowed to, or exit gracefully before you ruin everything, because playing both sides will leave hearts burned… including your own.

Your ex is not “just a friend,” and every lunch, every chat, every laugh is a mini-charged temptation that will make you question your marriage at the deepest, naughtiest level. So, you have to decide: do you want a life of daring excitement and messy passion, or the committed love that may need some rekindling at home? You hold the power to make 2026 the year of blazing clarity. Happy New Year, 2026! May your nights be full of sparkling champagne, fiery dances, and tantalizing possibilities… whether in love, in life, or in a dangerously thrilling adventure.

Happy New Year, 2026.

[Member]

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