[Flirt Coach]

It’s not about trust in your boyfriend at this point it’s about respect, and she’s crossing lines that shouldn’t be crossed.

Your guy’s handling it right. He’s shutting her down, not feeding her drama, not flirting back, and being upfront with you about it. That’s a good sign. It means his loyalty’s with you, not her.

Now about her women like that thrive on reaction. She’s trying to get under your skin, and the more you show it bothers you, the more power she gets. She’s trying to stir something up, maybe make herself feel relevant again. Don’t give her that satisfaction. Let her talk into the wind while you stay calm and steady.

If it keeps happening, your boyfriend needs to take the next step, block her number, her socials, whatever it takes. That’s on him to do, not you. You shouldn’t have to fight ghosts from his past.

But you? You hold your head high. You already won she’s the ex, you’re the one he’s choosing now. Don’t let her drag you into the mud with her jealousy and insecurity. The best revenge on someone like that is peace and confidence. Trust me, I’ve seen how those old flames can try to sneak back in when they see someone’s moved on. The best move is not playing the game at all.

[Isabella Jones]

Ugh, I can totally understand why you’re angry. Seeing messages like that would make anyone’s blood boil, even if your boyfriend handled it exactly how he should. 💛 From what you’ve shared, it sounds like he’s doing the right thing by shutting her down every single time. That says a lot about where his heart really is.

But I also get that her behavior feels disrespectful to both of you. Sometimes people like his ex act out because they can’t accept that it’s truly over, so they push boundaries hoping for a reaction. The best thing you can do is not give her one. Let your boyfriend keep handling it firmly, and let her fade into her own chaos. You staying calm and unbothered will make her realize she’s got no power left here.

Have you and your boyfriend talked about setting a clear boundary, like blocking her number for good?

[Soft Truths]

I can totally understand why you’re frustrated. It’s really hard to watch someone from your boyfriend’s past keep crossing boundaries like that, especially when you’re trying to build something real and respectful.

Your boyfriend seems to be handling it the right way. He’s shutting her down, he’s not entertaining her messages, and he’s being open with you about it. That’s actually a really good sign of his loyalty and transparency.

As for the ex, confronting her might only feed into what she wants attention, reaction, proof that she still has an effect on his life. People like that usually fade out faster when they realize they can’t get a rise out of anyone. The more calm and unbothered you stay, the quicker she loses power over the situation.

It’s okay to tell your boyfriend honestly that it makes you uncomfortable, but trust him unless he gives you a real reason not to. Let her look foolish on her own—she’s already doing a good job of that.

And one more thing? Don’t let her make you feel insecure about what you have. She’s stuck in the past. You’re in the present and that’s where he wants to be.

[Tara]

The ex isn’t the problem. Your reaction is. She’s baiting you, and you’re letting her win. She wants your attention because it keeps her connected to him. Every time you bring her up, get angry, or scroll through his phone, you’re doing her work for her.

Your boyfriend already handled her the right way. He was blunt, consistent, and uninterested. That’s exactly how you should be. Don’t confront her. Don’t acknowledge her. Don’t give her the satisfaction of knowing she’s under your skin. The minute she realizes no one’s reacting, she’ll stop.

Focus on your relationship, not her noise. If your boyfriend stays transparent and his behavior doesn’t change, then she’s irrelevant. Let her embarrass herself trying to get attention from someone who’s already moved on.

[Sally]

It’s frustrating when someone from your boyfriend’s past keeps trying to stir things up, especially when you know he’s not encouraging it. From what you shared, he’s actually handling it the right way by shutting her down and telling her to leave him alone.

You don’t need to confront her. That will only give her more attention and drama, which is what she probably wants. Keep trusting your boyfriend as long as he keeps being honest and transparent with you. If she keeps reaching out, tell him to block her completely and stick to that. The best way to deal with people like her is to show that she has no power over your relationship.

[Natalie Noah]

Sweetheart, I understand why you feel overwhelmed The gap between your life experience and his… it’s not your fault, baby. Some people grow up fast because life doesn’t give them a choice. You grew up safe. He grew up surviving.
Of course it feels uneven.
Of course it feels like he’s “ahead.”
That doesn’t make you less. It just means you had a different childhood. And you don’t need trauma to be valuable.

You’re not failing him. you’re just scared to say the wrong thing. And honestly… that tells me you care. When someone we love is hurting, we want to be helpful but we’re terrified of saying the wrong thing. And because his problems feel big and heavy, you freeze. You go quiet. Not because you don’t care… but because you care too much. Baby, that doesn’t make you useless. That makes you human.

He didn’t just want advice. he wanted to feel emotionally safe with you. When he said it “would make no difference”… that wasn’t him telling you you’re worthless. That was him telling you:
“I don’t know how to let you see the painful sides of me.”
Sometimes people who grew up struggling think they have to be the strong one all the time.
They don’t want to look weak.
They don’t want to scare the people they love.
They don’t want to burden anyone.

So they hide their pain… even from you… and then resent feeling alone.
It’s not your failure.
It’s his fear.

You don’t need to give solutions. you just need to give comfort
You’re not his therapist.
You’re not supposed to “fix” the things life has done to him.
What he needs from you is simpler, softer:
“I’m here.”
“You don’t have to handle everything alone.”
“You matter to me.”
“You’re allowed to fall apart sometimes.”
You don’t need the perfect words. You just need to stay present, steady, calm.
Love doesn’t heal pain with advice. It heals pain with presence.

The real mistake wasn’t yours. it was both of you losing emotional balance He stopped talking to his friends so you wouldn’t feel jealous. And you didn’t push him to talk because you felt inexperienced. Both of you were trying to protect each other… and accidentally created distance instead.
No villains.
No bad intentions.
Just two people scared of hurting each other, and hurting each other anyway. This is fixable.

What you should do now. Here’s what I would do if I were in your place:
A. Have one calm conversation where you say:
“You don’t have to hide things from me.”
“I won’t judge you. I just want to understand you.”
“I don’t always know what to say, but I’m here. Fully here.”
Let him talk at his own pace. No pressure.
Silence is not failure.
Sometimes silence is safety.
When he finishes talking, you don’t need deep wisdom. Just say:
“That sounds really heavy. I’m proud of you for carrying it.”
“I’m sorry you went through that.”
“Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me.”

And finally, baby… you’re not as far behind as you think
You’re young.
You’re learning.
You’re growing into yourself.
Don’t shame yourself for not having lived through trauma.
He doesn’t need you to be older or tougher or wiser. He needs you to be:

[Author]

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