[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I dated for 4 months we were very happy but got into an argument and decided to take a break for awhile I thought for sure he would come back but, about two months after we broke up I found out he was in another relationship and had got the girl he was with pregnant. It hurt me so bad because i still really cared about him but I eventually moved on completely when i saw him and his girlfriend at a football game his girlfriend called me a ***** and whore as i walked by and i just smiled because it didn’t really bother me but about a month after that my ex boyfriend who i had not heard from in a pretty good while who i thought didn’t even know my number anymore sent me a text I was so surprised but really didn’t feel the feelings i had for him before well we were just casually chatting and i asked him about how him and his girlfriend were doing and he said that he was really unhappy and he told me about how he never wanted to have sex again because of getting that girl pregnant that he wasn’t ready to be a dad and he just unloaded all his problems on me this went on for about a month or two where he would call and text me and tell me that him and his girlfriend weren’t working out and that he just wanted it to be over he also kept telling me that he wanted to commit suicide I know it’s stupid but i started feeling sorry for him and the feelings started coming back. Then one day him and his Girlfriend broke up and a month after they broke up he asked me out and i said yes i don’t know what i was thinking but i loved him so much . Everything was going good but sometimes he would change his mind about us and say he didn’t know what he wanted he told me he was bipolar and wanted to die all the time and anyways I told him I would understand if he wanted to go back to his ex since she was pregnant and all and that we could be friends and he said he didn’t want her that he wanted me and that he would always think of me when he was with her i gave him plenty of chances to go back to her and he always said I was the one he wanted. Well one day we were hanging out and got into an argument because he didn’t trust me and was very jealous and all but before he dropped me back off at my house we talked it out and I thought everything was fine , but I sent him a text and asked if he made it home ok and he put a sad face I said whats wrong and he said i’ll never get over her (meaning his ex that is pregnant) even though he knew how much this would hurt me I told him goodbye and the next day on facebook I saw where he said that he wanted his ex back and i feel so betrayed and hurt. How do I get over this?It’s now been about 2 weeks since I have talked to him.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If someone has chest pains you don’t try and diagnose their potential heart attack — you call 911. If a diabetic starts to shake and go into insulin shock, you don’t plump their pillows — you call an ambulance. So if this guy says he is going to commit suicide and talks about dying, you have an obligation to call a suicide hotline and ask them to help him. Please take his mental illness seriously.

Once you do that, you’ll realize he’s not in a position to be in a relationship with you and you’re in love with someone who has serious interpersonal problems as well as a child on the way. He can’t be with you even if he wanted to because he’s not capable of it, and whether or not he’s ready to be a father, the baby is coming and he is no longer center stage. His child is.

Step away from this man because his problems aren’t yours. He has so much on his plate he’d never be able to be a boyfriend to you.

Get out there and find a man who is AVAILABLE, mature and consistent in his behavior, and mostly — healthy! I hope that helps.

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[Member]

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