[Anonymous]

First let me start off by thanking Miss April for answering all of these questions without fail. You’re awesome 🙂

So I’ve finally found the guy I’ve always wanted. He’s kind, caring, respectful, funny, easygoing, and incredibly adorable. Problem is, I just so happen to be the first girlfriend he’s had since his last relationship. Even more of a problem is the fact that this past relationship lasted two and a half years. He even proposed, they were engaged, and then she dumped him. I don’t know the gritty details but I can tell it tore him apart. He wasn’t even planning on dating someone for a very long time, but when he met me, he liked me so much he just couldn’t resist 🙂

Everything is perfect in person, but when we chat over text he’ll say stuff that makes me second-guess how great everything seems to be, like apologizing for being “crazy and a bad boyfriend,” or that me feeling bad is probably his fault (when it totally isn’t), or that I seemed less interested in him a night or two ago. I know things can be misconstrued via text/email/IMs because you don’t see body language or hear their tone of voice. After he again made an insecure comment, I finally told him that these things were overdramatic and scaring me off and he said that I just didn’t understand his tone and that he wasn’t being serious.

I said sorry for taking everything he said so seriously, and I just told him how to me it came off as insecure and overemotional and he said it’s okay, but it wasn’t meant to be that way. I kind of thought that might be the case since he isn’t like that at all in person. So how should I go about addressing these comments properly? I’m afraid I’ll keep misunderstanding him and get more and more frustrated. Also, what kind of things can I do to rebuild his trust in relationships and boost his insecurities stemming from his previous breakup?

Thanks!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your only miscommunications are electronic and that when you’re in person things are fine. If this is the case, I’d limit your electronic communication to limit your miscommunication!

As for building his self esteem — that’s his job, not yours. 😕 You can’t build someone else’s self esteem. You can only have your own, and if he likes what he sees, he’ll choose to emulate that behavior in his own life.

I hope that helps — let me know how things go, and I hope that you’ll also follow me @AskAprilcom (no dot!) on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thank you 🙂
We’ve been doing better in that department. It seems like it’ll be a pretty good relationship. I don’t know how long it will last. I don’t feel completely head over heels or think he’s “the one,” but it’s nice to have someone to have fun with and care about.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I hope you’ll buy and read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], so you can guide yourself better through the dating process and decide more quickly if he’s Mr. Right or not so you don’t waste your time (and his!). 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Well we’ve only been together a couple of weeks so I’m going to wait and see how my feelings mature. Plus, I’m only 20, he’s 23. I’m definitely not thinking about marriage anytime soon.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The book, Think & Date Like A Man, isn’t for someone who necessarily wants to get married — it’s for someone who wants to find love and not waste time kissing toads! 😆 Mr. Right can be a husband or a great boyfriend, but it seems that lots of people need help dating — that’s the only reason I suggested this book, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for you, specifically, now. I think it will help you — even in your 20s! 😉

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

we broke it off. well he broke it off. so I guess never mind 😥

[April Masini, your AskApril]

This is even more reason for you to read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]! Since you found the “guy you’ve always wanted” and then weren’t able to get him, it’s really important that you learn from your mistakes. This book will help you have an easier time from here on in by choosing correctly and then behaving in a way that allows you to get — and keep! — the guy of your dreams. New Year’s Eve is a great time to do something for yourself. I hope you’ll buy the book and make this next year the year for you and YOUR successes!

See you @AskAprilcom (on Twitter)!

[Member]

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