[Maz]

Dear,

I’ve been with my girlfriend since mid of November 2014, had been talking since October 2014. moreover, after 5 months of dating we had an issue, she was out with one of her male friends (X) and was drunk when i met her, they were sitting close to each other and if a stranger passed by he would though that (X) is her boyfriend not me, and when we left she went with him not me, anyways we sorted out that issue. by during that issue i discovered that she knows everything about me and i know nothing about her except that she used to date a guy 2 years ago, and since 2 years she never met a guy. i started asking about her, and found out she was lying, and that she had plenty of night stands, and one sexual partner who she slept with when we were talking in November before we started dating officially. I dont blame her for that, its just that when i asked her she lied and when i told her i know she admitted that, and i asked her if there is anything i should know and she said no and that i know everything about her. yet after a month i discovered that she was talking to another guy during the time we used to meet, and that she wanted to travel with him, vacation in jan, though we were dating officially that time, but she canceled it the last portion as her dad was against it. when i asked her about that she claimed that her close friends convinced her that its the right thing to do, to spend some time with the other guy( who she likes) so after the vacation she can deiced where to stay with me or leave me to be with him. honestly i was shocked about that, felt as if ive been tricked been a back up plan, or even a rebound guy to make her feel better.

the lies kept on going on though she promised alot of times and she always breaks her promises, recently she told me she had a feeling for another guy, one from far away and she was in contact with him till march 2015.

i really dont know what to do, i wanted a regular relation, a serious one with no headaches. i feel so bad and dont know what to do, totally lost, shes nice to me, but i donno what is she doing and hiding now.
shall i leave her?

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like there are a lot of fundamental problems in this relationship that is less than a year old…. I’m wondering why you want to continue dating her. 😯 If someone lies to you about their age, or about dating during the first three or even six months of the relationship before things got serious, that’s one thing — but you seem to indicate that the lies aren’t stopping, you’re not trusting her, and she’s really not that into you because she’s keeping options open with other guys. 😳

Rather than complain, or try to change her, why not accept that she’s not into this relationship the way you are, and after investing almost a year of your time and energy, you might be a lot happier if you just move on. You say at the end of your post that she is nice to you — but hey, someone who lies chronically, is not nice to you. That’s disrespect and a lack of interest in the relationship — and you’re saying you want a normal relationship with no headaches. Sounds like it’s time for you to move on, my friend.

Let me know if you have any other questions.

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[Natalie Noah]

Your relationship is being undermined by a lack of honesty and trust. You’ve invested time, energy, and emotion into someone who has repeatedly been dishonest with you and maintained romantic or sexual connections with other men while you were dating. That pattern isn’t just about the past. it’s about her current approach to relationships and how she values commitment. Even if she’s “nice” in some ways, repeated lies and broken promises signal a fundamental mismatch between what you want and what she’s willing or able to give.

April’s perspective is spot on, you can’t fix someone else’s behavior or force them to be faithful or transparent. Staying in a relationship where trust is compromised, where you constantly feel unsure of her intentions, is emotionally draining and ultimately prevents you from experiencing the healthy, stable relationship you want. Your desire for a normal, headache-free connection is completely valid, and right now, this situation is the opposite of that.

The hardest part may be letting go, especially when she’s kind and you feel invested, but leaving is an act of self-respect and protection. Moving on gives you the space to find someone whose actions match their words someone who prioritizes you and the relationship in a way that doesn’t leave you questioning their loyalty or honesty. Holding on will only prolong the frustration, confusion, and heartbreak you’re already feeling.

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