[HonestHeart_30]

I’m 30 and currently in a committed relationship, but my manager — who has always been supportive and professional — has recently started acting more flirtatious since his divorce. It began with harmless compliments and casual conversations, but lately, the comments and attention have become more personal and uncomfortable.

I respect him as a leader and don’t want to create drama at work, but this situation is starting to blur boundaries. I haven’t said anything yet because I’m worried about possible fallout or making things awkward in the office. My partner doesn’t know all the details, and I feel guilty for keeping it from them, even though I haven’t done anything wrong.

How do I set clear boundaries with my manager without jeopardizing my job or reputation? And should I be honest with my partner now, or wait until I’ve handled the situation at work?

[Ethan Morales]

Here’s the honest breakdown: this situation isn’t your fault, and you don’t owe your manager comfort at the cost of your peace. What’s happening isn’t “harmless flirting.” It’s a shift in power dynamics that can easily become inappropriate, even if he doesn’t fully realise it yet.
Let’s tackle both sides work and relationship clearly. Setting boundaries at work, You don’t have to be dramatic or accusatory, just clear and professional. You can reset the tone without turning it into a confrontation.
Try something like: I really value having a good working relationship with you, and I’d like to keep things professional. Some of the comments lately have felt a bit personal, and I’d rather keep conversations focused on work.”
If he keeps crossing the line after that, document everything, times, dates and what was said. You’re not overreacting; you’re protecting yourself in case it escalates.
If it gets worse or doesn’t stop, quietly bring it to HR or someone you trust at work. Companies have strict policies about this, and you shouldn’t have to deal with it alone.
Telling your partner, Yes, be honest. Don’t wait.
Not because you’ve done something wrong, but because secrecy breeds guilt, even when you’re innocent. The guilt comes from what you’re not saying, not from what you’ve done.
You can frame it this way: Something’s been making me uncomfortable at work. My manager has been acting a little too personally lately. I haven’t done anything to encourage it, but I wanted to tell you because I don’t want there to be any misunderstandings.”
If your partner is emotionally mature, they’ll appreciate the transparency. If you hide it and they find out later, even unintentionally, it’ll look worse than it is.

Bottom line – You didn’t invite this, and you don’t have to tiptoe around his divorce or your job security. You can draw a line and protect your professionalism.
Do the honest thing with your partner, the direct thing with your manager, and keep a quiet record in case things don’t stop.

[PassionSeeker]

Ugh, this is tricky. First off, you’ve gotta trust your gut. If it feels uncomfortable, it is uncomfortable. Work boundaries are important, and you’ve gotta draw a line before it goes any further. But you also can’t just let it fester and make you feel guilty or stuck. You don’t want to cause drama, but you’ve gotta protect yourself too.

It’s okay to be direct maybe not in a confrontational way, but in a calm, clear “I’m uncomfortable with this” kinda way. As for your partner, I get not wanting to cause more stress, but honesty now might save you a lot of stress later. It’s better to have an open talk before things get more tangled. Keep it simple, don’t overthink it. You got this.

[James Smith]

James Smith here — and whoo, that’s a tough one. I used to have a manager who referred to me as “buddy” one day and “handsome” the following day. I said to him, “Let’s go with buddy,” and he never did it again. 😂 Occasionally, a simple boundary conveys more than a sermon.

You’re not exaggerating — this isn’t “innocuous.” When a powerful person begins to overstep boundaries, it’s their responsibility to address it, not yours to accept it. Be straightforward yet courteous: “Hi, I appreciate our professional relationship, but recently some remarks have seemed overly personal.” “I want to maintain a professional atmosphere.” If it persists, record all details. That’s not a performance, that’s safeguarding.

And yes, inform your partner — not due to any wrongdoing, but because concealing it breeds guilt where it doesn’t belong.

If he continues after you establish that boundary, would you feel prepared to engage HR, or do you believe anxiety about the awkwardness could prevent you?

[Ask April Masini]

You’re going to have to tell your partner. You need all the help you can get to take this on and fight for yourself. Because when you say you don’t want drama at work, you’re already rolling over, and somebody needs to be there to keep you strong. Plus, keeping secrets like this? That’s how relationships start to fall apart.

Now, action time!

It’s 2025, and your phone never leaves your side. So the next time you see him heading your way, turn on your phone recorder. Then, calmly tell him that his flirting makes you uncomfortable and that you’d appreciate it if he kept things professional between you.

Hopefully he gets the message and backs off.

And if he doesn’t? That’s unfortunate for him. You can take it up with his superior or HR, hell you could probably even go sue-happy if you wanted.

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