[Anonymous]

April is completely right, it’s time to move on. You mention that she seems comfortable and relaxed and appears to be the woman she had wanted to be, and thats because she is now all of them things.

She has moved on from you, which she no doubt did several months ago emotionally and physically, and is leading the life she wants to lead. You need to stop over analysing her situation with her fella. It doesnt matter what they are too each other or what type of relationship she now has with him, because it’s hers and his life and she has moved on from you.

Stop beating youself up about the car he has bought her, or the expensive clothes etc she was wearing, because he has spoilt her both financially and sexually for a long time so none of the materialistic things should come as a surprise.

Letting go is hard, incredibly hard, because you clearly still love her. But that ship sailed a long time ago and like it or not, accept it or not, she is with the person she wants to be with and that person is not you.

You have to move on because she has found the life she wants and needs and now you need to.

Good luck x

[Ask April Masini]

Let us know how things worked out.

[Ethan Morales]

April starts by cutting through the story and centering the truth. She immediately says there are “some things more important than money.” That line reframes the entire marriage reminding the husband that his choice to prioritize a bigger home and lifestyle over stability and intimacy was the first domino. This isn’t about his wife’s job anymore; it’s about how the couple valued money above emotional security. April doesn’t shame him she wakes him up to the root of the crisis.

She doesn’t indulge denial or self-justification. Most advice-givers might explore whether the wife could “change” or “return.” April refuses to entertain that fantasy. She names what’s happening: the wife isn’t confused she’s made a choice. She’s now financially and emotionally tied to another man. By saying “she won’t quit him. Or you so far,” April captures the painful limbo the husband is in: his wife is still there physically, but her loyalty and heart are already gone.

April’s tone shifts from analytical to brutally honest. When she says “accept the fact that you’re being replaced,” she’s not trying to hurt him she’s giving him the permission to stop fighting for something that no longer exists. Many people in denial about betrayal cling to definitions “is she a mistress or just an escort?” but April shows that labeling it doesn’t change the reality. The marriage has broken trust beyond repair.

Her advice file for divorce is blunt, but compassionate underneath. She knows that sugarcoating would only prolong the man’s suffering. By telling him to walk away and “live in a small house,” she’s not mocking him she’s teaching him the core lesson: happiness isn’t in financial upgrades; it’s in emotional integrity and peace. She’s saying, “Learn from this. Don’t rebuild the same mistake in a new form.”

April subtly implies moral accountability without moralizing. Notice how she never calls the wife names. She doesn’t demonize or degrade her. She simply outlines the cause and effect choices have consequences. The wife made hers, and now the husband must make his. This gives the letter a firm but dignified tone she’s holding the mirror up without turning it into cruelty.

Her writing structure mirrors her message: cold clarity followed by human hope.
She starts sharp and matter-of-fact “this is certain failure” but ends with a quiet wish: “I hope you can.” That shift shows she still believes people can rebuild their lives if they learn from what broke them. It’s both tough love and a gentle push toward self-respect.

The deeper takeaway: April’s response isn’t just about one man’s wife it’s about the price of denial. When you compromise your values for comfort, you start losing pieces of yourself. April’s message is simple but profound: let go of what’s rotting, even if it once looked perfect, and start again smaller, wiser, freer.

[Marcus king]

this stopped being about money a long time ago. When someone accepts surgery and financial support from a single client, that’s no longer business that’s emotional and transactional entanglement.

Your wife may tell herself it’s just an arrangement, but what she’s in now looks like dependency, not empowerment. And you? You’re standing on the sidelines watching your marriage turn into a contract between her and another man.

You need to have one honest, non-emotional talk. Ask her what she actually wants not excuses, not “temporary plans.” Does she still want this marriage, or has her lifestyle replaced it? Because right now, you’re trying to save a relationship she’s already rewritten the rules for.

It’s not about jealousy it’s about boundaries and self-respect. You can’t rebuild trust in a marriage that’s become a business deal unless both people decide it’s worth rebuilding.

[Tara]

Your wife is not “escorting.” She’s being kept. You started by tolerating something you didn’t like, and she took that as permission to push further until there’s nothing left of the marriage. You’re sitting here calling it “painful and confusing” when the truth is brutal: she’s in a relationship with another man, and you’re funding her freedom to do it.

This isn’t about her “career” or her “independence.” It’s about power. He pays, she obeys, and you rationalize. You’re the backup husband she comes home to when she’s done playing fantasy girlfriend. That’s not marriage. That’s you letting her humiliate you under your own roof.

You can’t control her, but you sure as hell can control yourself. Decide where your line is and draw it in stone. Tell her plainly: “Either you cut him off completely, or this marriage is done.” None of this “talking through it” nonsense. She already made her choice; now it’s your turn.

Therapy might help you figure out why you tolerated this for so long, but do not confuse understanding with forgiveness. You owe her nothing. If she wants to live like a mistress, let her do it without a husband to come home to. Walk away with your self-respect before she drains that too.

[Sally]

This one hurts to even read. And I’m saying that as someone who tries hard not to judge people’s choices, but this isn’t about sex work it’s about honesty, and the way she’s slowly stepped out of the marriage while you’re still trying to hold it together.

The thing that gets me is how each step moved farther away from you. First it was “just events.” Then it was sex. Then it was a stop -gap. Then a career. Then surgery paid for by a client. And now one man funding her life so she can be available only to him. That’s not a job anymore. That’s a relationship she’s choosing, whether she calls it that or not.

I’m not telling you what to do. Just don’t ignore what’s right in front of you. You deserve someone who’s actually in the marriage, not visiting it when it suits her.

[Author]

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