[mdm29]

Hi April!

Let me start by giving you a little insight as to how I typically went about the “dating” world. The past few serious relationships I have had, I was never one to take the slow route. It always moved quick, falling hard, and meeting the folks fairly early. To me this was the normal way….. was I ever wrong.

Back in September I became single from a relationship I was in for about 2 years that ended on my account due to not being happy and feeling like it was just a “friend” relationship at the end. I realized that you only have one life, sometimes you have to be selfish and go after what will truly make you happy, and being alone for a little bit was what I needed, and eventually, hoping I would find the perfect guy for me that would truly make me happy in more ways then one.

A couple months later, November, I began talking to a guy I somewhat knew of from years back. Never friends but I worked at a local gym, and at the time, he was dating one of the girls that also worked there. I thought he was super handsome and had the most stunning blue eyes I had ever seen. Never put thought into it of course because it was always just a quick interaction and we both were seeing someone at the time.

So this is years and years later now and we start talking, and really hit it off. We talked non stop for about a week before we actually met in person. Our first date was great, everything felt right and we truly enjoyed each others time. We kept talking and talking and then one day about 3 weeks or so later I noticed he wasn’t talking as much, taking longer to respond and just not showing any initiative. After dealing with that for a few days I decided to let him know how it was making me feel. I told him that I felt like he just wasn’t interested in this anymore and that I didn’t want to waste his time or mine. He came back saying that his feelings towards me haven’t changed, but that he felt like it was moving way to fast and that he wanted to put the breaks on a little bit. We both laughed it off after I told him that was fine and that I felt the same way, we are both new to the dating world as we were usually in a long term relationship, I just got the point across that all he had to do was communicate that to me and the problem would have been solved. After this conversation things were great, still didn’t talk as much and would take super long to answer but I kept on it as this has a lot of potential to really be something.

My last relationship got to “buddy” feeling and I dealt with a lot of issues regarding emotional strains. His last relationship ended pretty badly resulting in a lot of emotional damage and financial damage but it is all in the past now. I knew his ex and knew of what happened, his parents I feel might be hesitant too with how things went last time, I feel like they just wouldn’t want to see him hurt again as would any parent.

I’m 24 and hes 29, he has a great job and so do I, we both want the same things. We get along super great, have tons of fun, and the chemistry is there both emotionally and physically. SO much potential.

Now here is where I am new to the “taking it slow” thing. I love that we are doing it this way, It’s really giving us a chance to truly get to know one another and take our time enjoying these stages.

But now weve been doing this for just over 3 months and I just want some advice as to when I should expect things to progress, and if they don’t, how should I go about bringing it up in a way that I don’t look like a needy girl just wanting a “title” of validity.

We haven’t met each others parents yet, which I am fine with. I would love to be able to say we have been dating for how ever many months and that were into it before we bring family into it as family is important to both of us.

I am having a hard time trying not to overthink, and I have never been this way before in a relationship, It’s very different this time when it comes to that. I find myself worrying that he might be talking to other girls (which I know he’s not, I have also been told by many many people that hes a good guy and would never mess around, his good friend from childhood told me without me even asking that hes not the type of guy to talk to more then one girl). I have to also keep in mind that he is almost 30, hes ready to settle down and wouldn’t want to just play around.

Basically any advice on how to take it slow without over thinking things would be great! I have really good feelings about this and I think he does too. The lack of communication sometimes gets to me if he doesn’t respond for a while but there are more good things then bad that’s for sure! He also brings me around his friends, which is “the boys” and told me before that he wasn’t into PDA, but he usually puts his arm around my waist when were sitting on the couch even with them around.

I noticed the other day when he was showing me something funny on his phone when we were with all of them that there was an icon (fb inbox messenger, the little circle that shows the person profile photo). It was a girl. When I creeped (of course sadly) I noticed that shes more his age, good friends with his ex, and friends with people he grew up with. I over think to much and this is probably nothing. But I think when going back to the “needing” a title but not wanting to look needy, I just want that to make me feel more secure in knowing if he considers me more then just someone hes dating, but maybe a little more?

I’m sorry for being so all over the place here but that may help give you an insight as to how up in the air I am with this whole taking it slow thing, NEW DATING LEGS!

Any advice would be more appreciated then you know!

Thank you April,

You helped me so much with my last relationship, I had to write again!

MP

[Ask April Masini]

Since you’ve already started a string of posts on this forum, please re-post this as a “reply” to that string here: , so I can see your entire history in one place — and so can anyone else who wants to weigh in! You’ll get better advice when all your information is together. I’ll look out for your new post and I’ll answer it when I see it in the right place. 😀

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