"April Mașini answers
questions no one else can
and tells you the truth
that no one else will."

I Bee-Lieve

Old Friend, but is it more than friendly?

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • Author
    Posts
  • #3092
    danielle1989
    Member #25,621

    Before my boyfriend and I were together, he had sex with one of his “best friends”. It was a one time deal and nothing has happened since. However, knowing the girl, I am still not okay by this. She has lied to both of us which has proved she is untrustworthy. She only contacts him via Facebook where she thinks I won’t see. I have witnessed her being very promiscuous firsthand, and with other’s significant others. She only ever asks him to hang out when I am out of town or away. He claims that she has been a friend for a while, but she doesn’t strike me as a friend because she never visits both of us, only when he is alone, she has lied about both of us to each other and friends don’t just have sex! History has a way of repeating itself. I trust my boyfriend, but I certainly do not trust her or anything about her. It is not just the fact that they had sex in the past, it’s the fact that I personally gave her the benefit of the doubt, and she proved me right in every single aspect. She is not trustworthy, is not faithful and not a good “friend”. Another red alarm is that my boyfriend gets VERY angry and upset when I ever mention he should give her the run down about how she needs to back off. Need advice on this situation as this has caused a lot of problems for us. Thanks!

    #16393
    Ask April Masini
    Keymaster

    Your problem is not with this old friend. Your problem is with your boyfriend. Lots of times when there is a third party involved, it’s easy to blame the wrong person. What would be nice is if your boyfriend felt your feelings were more important than hanging out with this other woman. But if he disregards your feelings and continues to hang out with her, then all you have is your trust in him. If you truly do trust him, then I think you’re going to have that trust put to the test!

    When there’s a mutual friend of a couple — whether it’s a woman he slept with before you came along; a legitimate ex that he’s still friend with; or even a same sex buddy that you just don’t care for — it’s important not to give too much weight to the problem. The more energy you expend hawking your dislike for the person, the more important that person becomes in your relationship.

    Since your boyfriend never cheated on you, and the issue at hand seems to be the fact that she lies, it’s really his choice whether or not to be friends with her — but trust your instincts. Just put the spotlight on what the problem [i]really[/i] is here.

    See you on Facebook [url][/url] and I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

Viewing 2 posts - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.

Comments are closed.