He is a good man who’s hurting and reacting from a place of loneliness after a long marriage. That makes every signal feel louder and every silence feel sharper. What he’s reading as “mixed signals” is really just a shy woman who moves slower than he does. When they’re together, she’s open, warm, leaning in that isn’t fake. But between dates, she retreats a little, probably because she’s cautious, private, and not used to someone wanting her so intensely. That combination naturally creates uneven momentum. It isn’t about him not being good enough it’s about her comfort zone.
When he pushed back and said he wasn’t going to chase her, she reacted emotionally because she did care otherwise she wouldn’t have shown up or defended herself. But the moment he confronted her, the tone changed. Instead of building safety and connection, the message she received was: “You’re disappointing me.” For someone who already seems guarded, that can make her pull inward. Not because he was wrong, but because the delivery hit a wound maybe trust issues, maybe past relationships, maybe fear of missteps. His frustration is real, but the confrontation froze some of the warmth she naturally had.
The healthiest direction for him now is a slower, steadier approach not chasing, not confronting, not testing. Just calm, consistent energy. If she continues opening up little by little, then he’s moving the right way. If she becomes colder and progress stops, he’ll know without having to force anything. His feelings are valid, but right now the most important thing is to honor pace, not pressure. And if it turns out she can’t meet him halfway… letting her go with grace will hurt, but it will also free him for someone who fits the version of him he’s becoming, not the loneliness he’s escaping from.
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