[Anonymous]

Before reading this, please know I do not want harsh judgement. I just really need advice. Disregard Morals and the law. This is about love.

Hi,
I am really young. The guy that this post is about is a lot older than me. He is a long time friend of the family that broke up with his girlfriend almost a year ago and for the past 6 months he has been spending time with me, giving me advice and helping me to have a great time. I am very confused as to whether or not he loves me back in the same way that I love him. I know this is so surreal but I am tired of not knowing. We haven’t kissed, had sex etc. But our hugs get more and more intimate and I really want to kiss him. I think kissing him will finally give me the answer. Either he will kiss me back because he loves me (or because he just needs intimacy due to the loss of his girlfriend), Or he will tell me no and push me away and say he doesn’t love me that way. I feel like I need to finally take this risk and go for the kiss. Please help me.
-K.T

[Anonymous]

wow that is very confusing and i cannot imagine how it must feel to be put in that position. The only advice i can give in regards to him is be honest….Have you weighed the pros and cons of how you feel for this man, is it real feelings or is it a comfort thing. I dont know how you to are with each other or what you two do together so i cant really judge you on that but what you have said, and the way it sounds is you are a shoulder for him to cry on. You are caring and being a true friend for him in a time where he needed someone. Is he still in love with his ex? Is he still missing her? does he still talk about her or want to get back with her or antyhing like that??. If things are getting a little more intimate then, instead of going in for the big kiss because it can either go good where he does kiss you back or he could push you away and well it will feel completely embarrasing, Maybe be honest and open with him and tell him how you are feeling for him and weather he is feeling the same way. Just try communicating with him and just ask him where do you stand because if its not what he wants well then you will have to have space apart because the longer it goes on for it will be harder for you to let go. And if he is feeling the same way for you then you both are letting each other know where you both stand in each others life, and well then thats a start… It all comes down to communicating and just being straight up and honest… Im not an expert neither am i here to tell you what i think is right, but i hope ive given you my personal opinion and advice and the option of seeing both sides and obviously the decision comes down to you. I can say though that something does need to be done or said to him but how you approach the situation only you can do.. No one knows him well enough like you do… Best of luck huni, go with what you think is right 🙂 x

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Without regard to your age, I always tell women to [b]NEVER[/b] make the first move. Men [u]want[/u] to be the ones who make the first move, [i]always[/i], so if you do try to kiss him, you’re taking that opportunity away from him! 😮 You’ll also have a better idea of his true feelings if you act like “the seductive woman” in the relationship instead of the over eager aggressor, so don’t YOU move in to kiss him first. If he makes a first move, then it’s his first move to have been made — not his reaction which could anything from a mercy kiss, a kiss because he can (he is a guy after all!) or a real kiss meant to convey affection.

Now, with regard to your age, it would help to know not just your age but his, too, so I hope you’ll let us all in on that secret! 😉 This is an anonymous forum so it’s good to be honest. You’ll get the best advice that way. 🙂

That said, if you DO really love him and care about him, then you won’t want to hurt him. And if he gets involved sexually (kissing counts) with an underage minor (if that’s what you are) he could be in a lot of trouble. Real love means doing the right thing for the other person — even sacrificing feelings. I know YOU want to disregard the law, but real love means taking care of the other person — not just yourself. 😀

I hope that helps with your confusion.

[Member]

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