[Anonymous]

A few weeks ago I was contacted by an old flame through email. Him and I dated from the 7th grade to the 11th grade. I was the one that ended the relationship. I was young and wanted to experience other things. There wasn’t anything wrong with the relationship. In fact, it was pretty close to perfect. I realized shortly after I broke up with him that it was a mistake. I tried to get him back. Unfortunately, he didn’t trust me anymore, and moved on. After that, we saw each other off and on until the second year of college. It never went anywhere because he had his doubts about me. We both saw other people as well. We have ran into each other a few times over the past 15 years, but never exchanged information. As the years have gone by, I have regretted ever ending that relationship. I feel it was one of the largest mistakes I have ever made.

So, after he contacted me a few weeks ago, we emailed back and forth for a few days and then exchanged phone numbers. Since then we have been in constant contact with one another. We text back and forth all day, everyday. We have also got together a handful of times. There has been nothing physical (other than hugging). We spend the majority of our time together just talking. I can see that he wants a relationship with me, but is holding himself back. Through talking with him about it, and paying attention (verbally and physically) the rest of the time, I have come to the conclusion the he does have feelings for me, but wants to take things slow because he is afraid he will do something that will make me not want to speak with him again. I know he is attracted to me both physically and mentally. He has stated that he wants to be there for me through everything that is ahead. He seems to be at this road block in his life. I know that he tells me things that he doesn’t tell anyone else. He is a very private person who doesn’t share much.

He is the only person I have ever met that “gets” me. I have had a lot of unpleasant experiences in my life, much of which he knows about, and understands. He is the only one that doesn’t think I am a complex individual. I have never had anyone so interested in my life. I know that he needs me right now. The problem is I am falling for him hard and he seems to be indecisive. If he feels his life is already complicated, wouldn’t a romantic relationship just add to it??? We have agreed that right now the realtionship is pretty much undefinable. We are basically extremely close firends that have romantic feelings for one another. Can that even work??? Do you think there is a chance that he really only wants to be my friend?? I have told him that if all he wants is friendship, that I will take it. At the same time I also told him that I would love to be more than just friends. I know I want him in my lfe. Am I making a bad choice???? If I lost him again I would be absolutely devastated. He has stated that it would really hurt him if we stopped talking. It seems that we are both kind of walking on eggshells because he is afraid of doing something wrong that will upset me and end the relationship, and I am afraid that I will do or say something that will push him away.

Can you please offer any words or wisdom on this matter………..Thank you!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have to give a guy something to chase if you want him to go after you. It sounds like you’re way too available and he’s comfortable as just friends because he’s got a lock on you. 😕 If you want to be his girlfriend, then you have to behave like a woman who wants a boyfriend. You’ll get all the tips, hints and advice you need on this subject in my book, Think & Date Like A Man, that you can purchase on line at Amazon.com, Barnes & Noble’s website or right here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

As for your fear of losing him, you have to get over that. It’s keeping you from finding out if there’s a romance there to be had. Don’t settle for less than you want. It sounds like both of you are being too careful and not willing to put your cards on the table. Fifteen years have gone by. Now is your chance to see if there’s a romantic relationship.

Get the book and read it, and then do what the book advises. It works.

Hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter, and on Facebook here: [url][/url]

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