[Anonymous]

I think I have a couple questions for you.

First of all, I just VERY VERY recently broke up with my fiance of 5 years. Honestly, nobody knows yet (including the guy I’m about to talk about)
Now, I’ve been spending a lot of time with friends, and friends-of-friends, interested in meeting new people. This isn’t because of the upcoming(at the time) breakup, looking for a guy – I was genuinely just looking for friends since I had become somewhat solitary while with my fiance. During these group hangouts I met Roger.
Now, I was interested in only being friends with Roger – he seemed like a very nice guy and we shared some of the same interests, like writing, computers, etc. We quickly became friends, mostly online at first. Both being very active “Twitterers”, we were able to learn lots about each other through that, and he was there for me during a rough patch with our shared friend, and later I was there for him when he went through a hard time, too. Recently, I became aware that he probably has a crush on me. His actions, and some light suggestion tells me so – i won’t bother going into it, I’ll just leave it as fact for you. After a while, probably because of this knowledge, I couldn’t help but feel something as well.
I would love to give this a try (provided my earlier assumptions are correct, of course 🙂) but I’m honestly afraid that it may be something of a rebound. I have no idea how to determine if it is or not… and if it is, should I just drop those ideas of a relationship, or is there something I can do to make it so I can give it an honest shot?

Second question: Also on the topic of Roger. I *despise* sports on TV. Roger, though, loves sports and I’m quite sure he frequently watches them on tv. Is this a difference that can be worked around, or should I just look elsewhere now while it’s easy to back out? How do I work around such a big difference? It’s the only big difference I’ve seen between us so far.

[Ask April Masini]

It’s fine to date Rodger, but just as you would with any man, date smart!! This means that just because you are dating him, especially since you’ve just ended a five year relationship and engagement, you should be dating the field as well, not just Rodger. If you do this, you can better insure that you’re not going to get into a rebound situation, and that you use dating to get to know yourself and the men you’re spending time with to make sure they are Mr. Right, and not someone you’re wasting your time (or theirs) with. So don’t replace your ex-boyfriend with the first man that comes along just because he’s there. Be discriminating so that you don’t wind up with the wrong guy again.

This is a perfect time for you to buy and read my book, Think & Date Like A Man, written for women who want to find Mr. Right and get him. You probably need a little bit of a kick start refresher course in dating, since you just spent 5 years with Mr. Wrong! 😥 I would hate to see you waste all that time again. So download the book here [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], and you can read it this weekend.

As for Rodger liking sports on television and you not liking them, as a possible deal breaker — you’re jumping the gun. You haven’t even gone out on one date with this guy yet. Slow it down! It’s good to fill your time and be busy, especially now that you’re newly single, but don’t use dating the wrong guys to do that. Make sure that the men you date have the qualities you’re looking for in a long term relationship, and keep your eye on the ball instead of just dating because there’s nothing else to do.

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