[alarminglyindecisive]

my boyfriend of 6 months is dropping out of college next semester and has asked me to run away when the semester ends. (also, he has no choice but to drop out at this point because he purposefully flunked his classes). He had first asked me around october but i never gave him a solid answer; eventually i was put in a situation where i just felt like i had to say yes, even though i dont think this is a wise idea for me. He says to just trust him and know that i’ll live a life filled with love and that he’s do anything for me etc. The reason i started to yes is because i know that he was going to end the relationship had i said no, in order to protect himself from a more harsh heartbreak. The reason it wouldnt work if he left and i stayed is because of the distance. I know that keeping it going is kind of selfish, but he’s my first love, and I dont want to lose him. I’m running out of time and i still havent figured out how to say that I cannot drop out of school. I am a junior in college, my parents have invested so much into my education and I just dont see a future for myself without a college degree. I want to tell him that I can’t go with him, but I also want him to just cherish the time that we have together rather than end things for no good reason, but if he really doesnt want to continue this after we go separate ways. I dont know how to break my own heart, and his. Someone please tell me how to approach this. I want to be with him becauase he’s my first love and hopefully my last but i also want to stay in school – apparently i cant have both.
I feel like ive only given a little information above but im not sure how else to put my thoughts into words.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The reason you haven’t given your boyfriend a straight answer is because you know the right answer is going to disappoint him. 😮 Since you’re a junior in college and your parents have invested in your education, it would be a pretty dumb idea to drop out when you’re almost 75% finished, unless there was a [b][u]really [/u][/b]good reason to do so. You’re almost finished!! To simply follow your boyfriend, who is flunking out 😕 and planning to drop out, to run away, doesn’t seem like it’s in your best interest — or his. What is he running away from? Why doesn’t he simply stick around and get a job nearby so that the two of you can be together while you finish your education? That way you’d have a future together. 😉 I know you’re feeling stressed about his possibly dumping you because you won’t drop out and run away with him — but it’s time to be straight with him and then to let him be straight with you, knowing your feelings. True love is really about being honest with one another, and you haven’t been. 😥 You need to tell him that you don’t want to drop out of college because you’re doing well, your family has invested in you and your education, and you want a future for yourself — and for the two of you. Give him the chance to man up and sacrifice for your relationship. 😉 If he knows what you want, then he can make a decision based on that knowledge — so, it’s time to tell him.

Never be afraid of the truth. If he really loves you, then the two of you will be honest with each other and decide if you want to try to make things work, or if the relationship is best ended. I know how painful this is for you, but it’s really important to face reality together.

[Ethan Morales]

You already know the right answer. You’re three-quarters through college. Dropping out to run away with a guy who flunked on purpose is not romance it’s a catastrophe in slow motion. Your education is concrete; his plan is vague and reactive. Protect your future.
Reality check: He’s choosing escape, not partnership. If he’s asking you to sacrifice a degree your family invested in so he can avoid responsibility, that’s selfish. True partners find ways to build a life together that don’t require burning your options.

You’re allowed to want both: love and a degree. Wanting to finish school doesn’t mean you love him less it means you care about a stable future. Anyone who truly loves you should be able to see that, and either support you or accept that you won’t run away.

Tell the truth, now: Don’t hem and haw. Say it clearly and kindly: you will not drop out. Explain why (your degree, family investment, future plans). Give him the chance to respond like an adult: either he stays and figures out a responsible plan (job, local options, support you) or he walks.

Give him an option that preserves dignity and sets boundaries:

Option A: He stays nearby, finds work, and you both plan a future while you finish school.

Option B: He accepts long-distance while you graduate.

Option C: He ends things now so you don’t waste more emotional energy waiting.

Timeframe & action: Don’t let him stall you. Make this a conversation with a deadline — say, one week. You deserve an answer, not a wishlist. If he needs a week to decide, fine. If he’s still vague after that, walk.

I love you, but I can’t drop out I’m a junior and my family has invested in my degree. I can’t erase that. I want us to be together, but not at the cost of my future. If you’re willing to figure out a real plan (stay local/get a job/try long-distance), I’ll try. If not, I’d rather know now than be strung along.”
Bottom line: Don’t break your own future to save someone who isn’t willing to grow up. It’s heartbreaking to say no to love I get that but it’s braver to say yes to a future you can actually build.

[James Smith]

Alright, reading your story made me flash back to the time I dated a girl who claimed she didn’t believe in labels. I thought that sounded cool and modern until I realized no labels meant she could flirt with the bartender while I stood there holding her purse like an unpaid intern 😂 So trust me, I understand how confusing it feels when someone says they love you deeply but also gets itchy at the word commitment.

It sounds like your boyfriend loves the comfort of a relationship but fears the permanence of one. That itch he mentioned isn’t about you, it’s about him wrestling with the idea of losing freedom, even when freedom just means eating cereal alone on a Saturday night. You can’t fix that feeling for him, but you can be clear about what you need. You deserve someone who matches your pace, not someone who keeps pulling the emergency brake every time things get serious.

I will say this though, people who’ve been hurt often confuse stability with stagnation. He might not be afraid of you, he might just be scared of what comes after forever.

If you step back a little and let him feel your absence instead of your patience, he’ll either realize what he stands to lose or confirm what you already suspect. So tell me, do you think he’s truly afraid of commitment or just afraid of repeating his past?

[Marcus king]

Sweetheart, I know it hurts but love shouldn’t make you choose between your heart and your future. You can care deeply for him and still choose yourself. If he truly loves you, he won’t ask you to throw away your dreams. Be honest, gentle, but firm. You’ve worked too hard to dim your own light.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe, it’s the kind of love that feels cinematic, but real life isn’t a movie. 💔 you’re not wrong for wanting to hold on, but “running away”?? that’s not love, it’s escape. if you can only keep him by losing yourself, then you’re not being loved, you’re being needed. you don’t have to abandon the version of you that’s worked so hard to get where you are. let him know that you wish he’d fight for his own path instead of trying to start over by running. he might not see it now, but choosing your future is the most loving thing you can do, for both of you. 🖤

[Sally]

I know this kind of love. That all-or-nothing, dizzy kind you feel in your early twenties where everything feels huge and permanent. But here’s the quiet truth you’re scared to say out loud: he’s asking you to throw away your future so he doesn’t have to face his own.

That’s not love. That’s fear dressed up as romance.
Running away only works in movies. In real life, it turns into resentment and regret. And the way he tied your answer to whether he’d stay with you… that isn’t fair. Love shouldn’t feel like a threat.

You don’t have to blow things up. Just tell him gently that you’re staying in school because you’ve worked too hard not to. And if he chooses to walk because of that, then he wasn’t your last love — just your first big one.

It’ll hurt, but you’ll survive it. And you’ll be proud of the life you kept for yourself.

[Natalie Noah]

I want to validate your feelings, it’s terrifying to imagine telling someone you love that you can’t follow them, especially when it’s your first love and the idea of losing them feels unbearable. But the reality is that you’re a junior in college, you’ve invested years into your education, and your family has invested in you. Dropping out to run away with him, who is flunking out and essentially choosing escapism, would be a decision that could impact your future for years. Your instincts are right you can’t sacrifice your entire path and your goals to chase a love that may not survive the consequences of such a move. Your future, your independence, and your education are just as important as your relationship.

The way to handle this is with honesty, both for yourself and for him. You can frame it in a loving way, tell him that you can’t drop out of school, that your education matters to you and your future, and that you hope he understands this isn’t a rejection of him or your love, but a decision for your life. Emphasize that you still want to cherish the time you have together and maintain your relationship, even if long distance is part of the equation. True love isn’t about abandoning your responsibilities; it’s about respecting both your life and his, and giving each other the chance to make thoughtful decisions.

Lastly, prepare yourself for his reaction, whatever it may be. If he truly loves you, he’ll respect your choice and the two of you can work out a way to stay connected despite the distance. If he can’t, then it’s painful, yes, but it’s also a necessary heartbreak to avoid compromising your future for someone who isn’t willing or able to meet you halfway. You can love someone deeply and still choose yourself. That balance caring for him while standing firm in your life goals is what will give you the best chance at a healthy relationship long-term, whether together or apart.

[Serena Vale]

It sounds like you’ve been carrying this alone for a while, and I get why you’re torn, when it’s your first real love, it’s so easy to confuse big emotions with big decisions. But here’s the thing… love shouldn’t be asking you to set your whole life on fire.

You’re almost done with college. You’ve worked for this, your family has supported you through it, and you know in your gut that dropping everything to “run away” isn’t your path. That feeling you keep pushing down, that discomfort, that hesitation, that’s your truth trying to get your attention.

And I know it feels scary to imagine losing him if you say no. But someone who loves you doesn’t ask you to throw away your future so they can escape theirs. He’s flunking out because of choices he made, and now he wants to pull you into a life he hasn’t even figured out for himself. That’s not romance, that’s panic wrapped in pretty words.

You don’t have to fight him. You don’t have to argue. You just have to be honest.

Then you have to let him show you who he is. Does he love you enough to stay grounded while you finish school? Or does he love the idea of escape more than he loves you? Either way, the truth will come out, and you deserve the truth.

And listen… you don’t have to break both your hearts. Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is let life take its natural shape. If you two are meant to keep going, you will. If not, this isn’t the end of love for you, it’s just the first time you’re choosing yourself.

And that’s not losing him. That’s finding you.

[Member]

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