[Honestly?]

were are around ages 20!

There’s this girl i really like, i would do anything for her. First we just started hanging out and before that i knew her for awhile. We went out on a few dates, and we talk all the time, and over the past few weeks we have gotten pretty close. I am leaving for 6 weeks with the military at the end of this week, she is leaving tomorrow for 10 days.. ( she is gone to visit her ex…) I was talking to her about it, and she says now he wishes she didn’t make those plans and didn’t book the flight, ( his parents paid for part of the fight)

The thing is is that he ex pretty much destroyed her life, well her self confidence and hurt her so bad that she had to take leave from work!
I told her i didn’t want her getting hurt anymore and i would be her for her as much as i could. But is there anything i can do, i think he would just hurt her again its just a matter of time. I know she likes me but im not sure how to go about this situation.

I think the only thing i can do is just wait for her.. maby she just needs to make the journey… I know she cares for me and i care for her, there is a connection between us..

I have been told that when he comes back she will need me more then ever, but i also have been told to move on.. I dont think i could move on, she is the first girl in 2 years that i can let myself get close to.

Thank you for any advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Since you haven’t dated for a long time, you’re doing exactly what you’re supposed to be doing when you’re dating — getting to know the other person to see if this is Ms. Right. Although your girlfriend had made plane reservations to visit her ex a while ago, she could still have cancelled the trip if she wanted to. She may find that this trip to visit the ex is her last, and that she uses the trip to tie up loose ends with him. Or you may find that she’s connected to him in a way you didn’t realize up until now.

So, you’re right, when you say that you need to wait and see where she is when she returns. This is her journey, and you’re wise to recognize that. However, you have free will to stay or go based on what you see from her when she returns.

[tricia]

If she really loves you and over on her ex then there’s nothing to worry.

If the two of you are in good condiiton now then why she still have to go on his ex place. She can refund the money if she really wants or visit that place but consider it as a vacation and go somewhere far on her ex’s place.

No one know what might happen on that 10 long days. All we can do for now is to wait and see the result. Please update us by making another thread at that time

[Lizzy_09]

Just be supportive to her. And make sure that if she ever does decide to get involve with you, it would be for the right reason and not as a shock absorber of a bad relationship. She should heal herself first before getting involved with you or she might not love you as you are and just force herself to be with you cause you were there at that time when she needed someone to comfort her.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Please let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

You genuinely care about her and want to protect her from further hurt. The first thing to recognize is that her trip to see her ex, though painful for you to process, is likely a step in her own healing journey. She may need this experience to close a chapter and gain clarity about what she truly wants in her life and relationships. At the same time, it’s wise of you to be patient and give her the space to process it without pressure. Your support from a distance, through consistent, caring communication, will show her that you are a steady presence in her life, but ultimately, you can’t control her choices or shield her completely from past relationships.

It’s also important to consider your own emotional boundaries. You clearly feel a strong connection and care deeply for her, but if you put your life entirely on hold or tie your happiness to the outcome of her trip, it could become emotionally draining. Being there for her doesn’t mean waiting indefinitely or sacrificing your own well-being. Focus on maintaining your connection in ways that are healthy, check in, offer encouragement, and let her know that you care without overstepping or trying to influence her decisions. This shows maturity and respect for her autonomy while reinforcing your role as someone trustworthy in her life.

Pay attention to what her actions show when she returns. Words are important, but actions often reveal true intentions. If she comes back and demonstrates that she values you, wants to continue growing closer, and has processed her past in a healthy way, then you can consider deepening your relationship. But if she seems distracted, uncertain, or reverts to old patterns, it’s a signal to protect your heart and reassess your involvement. Right now, your role is to be patient, supportive, and emotionally present while keeping your own boundaries clear. this balance will help both of you navigate this transitional period without unnecessary hurt.

[Member]

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