[lastniceguy89]

Hello,
I was going to write out a detialed story, so I give all the facts and a nice detailed story of our relationship. If this is too much for you to want to read, I have a summary at the bottom you can skip to. I need to know, what will be the best thing for both of us in the end, breaking up, or trying to make it last.

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year. I am 19 years old, and she is 18, we are both newly graduated from High School, and currently going to the local community college together. After being together so long, we decided to move in together, which we did 2 weeks ago. For the both of us, this is the first relationship either of us had. After being together this long, I must say we were both happy for the most part. Neither of us are really selfish people, or mean, and we do care and love eachother. It’s just over the time have been together, it seems to me very fight we have had, she starts. I am definatly not blaming it all on her, but my girlfriend (who was on anti-depression medication, but stopped when we started dating) can be a little controlling and can overreact very easily. This I learned to get over, but our share of fights always came from me and hanging out with my friends, although whenever I was wiht my friends, it was always when she was busy, or I had already promised my friends, because she had been busy, yet sometimes she freed herself up unexpectedly, just to get angry at me for being busy. All of these kind of fights, which has happened maybe 3-4 times, paled in comparison to our last one.
I told her a week before hand that I was going drinking with friends, then reminded her in the coming days. She at tose times, had no problem with it. Then the minute i went to leave, she said she didnt want me to go, etc etc. Well, i did go, seeing how she slammed the door on me, sent me txts that I may cheat on her, etc, saddened me. After getting home, and sleeping for a few hours, she yells at me, saying why did I do this, saying I dont love her, that we shouldnt have moved in together, and basically, almost breaking up with me right then and there. She even told me a day later that she almost did. Well, not long later that day, she apologized and said she wouldnt overreact like that before. My problem with that is, thats what she says every single time, that she wont do it again yet she does. I love her to death, but im afraid that these kinds of problems/fights will make me unable to continue to make her happy. Not to mention her ideas of marriage within the next 2 years is something I am worried she would try and rush me into.

Summary: I love my girlfriend (of 1 year + months) very much, but am afraid that her being a bit controlling/overreacting wont stop, as she has multiple times said she would but to no avail. I have gotten random thoughts of whether I’d be happier seperating or we’d both be better off in the long run by breaking up and being friends. It just makes me wonder, that when sometimes I dont mind her going to work so I can do other things, or her overreacting, and me getting these kind of thoughts makes me wonder what to do.

[u]My Question: Are my thoughts of breaking up justified, even when I dont have a lot of reasons for it??[/u]

-keep in mind this was both our very first relationship, and that we are both 19 (me) and 18 (her)

Thank You.

[Ask April Masini]

# 1 … Yes, your feelings are valid.
# 2 … Do not — ever — let anyone push or pressure you into getting married! Or into having children for that matter….

If you have questions about whether or not she’s the right one — wait. If you are wondering whether of not the two of you are compatible — wait. Always listen to your instincts, they are there for a reason. People tend to make the biggest mistakes when they do not trust that little voice inside them.

Slow down and take your time before taking the next step. You are learning a lot about relationships — about your girlfriend — and about yourself. You are very young and you have your whole life ahead of you.

Frankly, at 18 and 19 you are both much, much too young to be thinking about getting married.

[belle82beauty]

hey i am a girl just like that, i did the same thing to my boyfriend but i did alot worse. you should read my advice letter. i agree with what she told you. you are very young and you can find a lot of girls out there and like tom lykis would say you are too young to be in a relationship anyway. i am 26. i have acted like your girlfriend since i was in my teens. it boils down to her insecurities and self esteem. if she does not work on either or try to make a change she will always be that way and she will get worse as she gets older and become more controlling. i am now seeing a therapist and a psychologist. she should be taking her antidepressants those are an aide to control her mood, whether it is a disorder or something as simple as a chemical imbalance. you really need to focus on you, your education, and career first. Once all that is in line then worry about a relationship. that is what i am already doing and i am alot older than you. i am only worrying about my relationship and not wanting to lose him because i am sure he the person i do want to marry. as you get older you will learn more about yourself and what you want. good luck to you

[Ask April Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Natalie Noah]

A lot of emotional awareness on your part, especially given your age and the fact that this is your first serious relationship. Your concerns aren’t small or irrational. they’re rooted in repeated patterns you’ve noticed over time. When someone says they’ll change but keeps repeating the same behavior, it’s natural for trust and emotional safety to erode. The issue here isn’t one single fight; it’s the cycle of control, overreaction, apology, and repetition. That cycle is exhausting and, over time, it chips away at love no matter how strong it once felt.

Your thoughts about breaking up are absolutely justified, even if there isn’t “one big reason.” Relationships don’t require a dramatic betrayal to end persistent incompatibility, emotional pressure, and feeling restricted are valid reasons on their own. The fact that you sometimes feel relief when she’s gone, or imagine being happier apart, is an important signal. It doesn’t mean you don’t love her; it means your needs for independence, peace, and emotional stability aren’t being met consistently.

Another key point is timing and life stage. At 18 and 19, both of you are still forming your identities, learning emotional regulation, and figuring out what healthy partnership looks like. Moving in together and discussing marriage so early adds pressure that can amplify existing insecurities and control issues. Love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship especially when one partner feels monitored, accused, or emotionally cornered for having a normal social life.

Staying together only works if both people actively take responsibility for change not just with words, but with consistent action and, in her case, possibly professional support. If that isn’t happening, choosing to step back doesn’t make you selfish or weak; it makes you honest. Sometimes the most caring decision for both people is to let go, grow separately, and learn what a healthier relationship should feel like.

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