[Annieeeee12]

I am in a relationship with a guy for 6 months, we both love each other so much. He is loyal, sweet, sincere, compassionate and always try to give me the best that he can. There are only two things between us that makes me confused are:

1. He is careless and indecisive — which makes me feel like I were his Mom, not his girlfriend. I tell him about this every time, he understood and told me that he will improve, but it still happens (because that’s his characteristics and I know it’s hard to change); my life sometimes gets crazy because of his careless. I love him but I don’t want my future kids to have a careless future Dad, I want the best for my future kids.

2. He is currently broke. We are from two different backgrounds. He is from a poor family and even though he got a job with salary but not much. He even doesnot have enough money for his own meals. We already had two trips together, and I were the one who paid 90% for the expense. He knew that I don’t have much money too and he promised to treat me better when he has more money. I understand that he is in his hard time and I am waiting for a more succesful future of him in future. But does it worth? Am I stupid when I did that?

I really need your insights and advice on this. Should I continue holding on this kind of relationship? We are still young, what if we stop for a while and continue when it comes to a right time? Still, somehow, I don’t want to lose him because I know we love each other with all our hearts and his love is the love that I ever dream to have.

Thank you in advance, Ms. April!

[SkyBlue]

Always got to follow your heart.

[Ask April Masini]

So, you’re both 23 and you’ve been dating for six months now. Here’s my advice:

If you don’t want a boyfriend who is careless and indecisive, and you’re dating a boyfriend who is careless and indecisive, then find a new one. 😉 You’re trying to get him to change, he’s not changing, and you’re upset. Break the pattern and change your own behavior instead of trying to get him to change his. 😉

Second, if he has a job with a salary and he’s broke — something isn’t right. Either he’s spending more than he makes, which isn’t a great quality 😕 or he is in a job that isn’t compatible with his lifestyle. Either way, he’s making choices that have created this life for himself. If you pay for 90% of his travel when the two of you go on trips, and now you’re mad that you did that, you have to change your own behavior — not try to change his. Next time, don’t pay for his travel, and if he can’t afford to go on trips, then accept that this is who he is right now. You have choices and are not a victim! 😎

In both of these questions, I think that the solution has to do with you and choices you’re making. If you want someone who is responsible and direct and who has a promising career and makes good money, then you should choose someone with those qualities. It’s unfair to you and to him to chose him and then wish he was different. 😉

I hope that helps!

[Sally]

Love like that doesn’t come around a lot. And you’re not stupid for staying. You cared, so you showed up. That’s just being human.
But here’s the quiet part. Love shouldn’t make you feel like a parent. When you start managing someone’s life, the romance slowly drains out. I’ve been there. It turns into stress instead of peace.

Being broke isn’t the real issue. Plenty of good people struggle. The harder part is not knowing if he’ll ever step up without you carrying him. Promises feel nice, but patterns tell the truth.

Taking a pause isn’t failure. Sometimes timing really is the problem, not the love. And sometimes love is real but still not right.
If staying feels heavy more days than not, listen to that. Your heart matters, but so does your future calm

[Tara]

You’re not confused, you’re already seeing the future and trying to talk yourself out of it. Love isn’t the issue here. Function is. A careless, indecisive man who repeatedly shows you he can’t manage his own life will not magically become a decisive provider, partner, or father because time passed and love was present. You’re already parenting him emotionally and financially after six months, and that dynamic only gets worse, not better.

People don’t rise under comfort they rise under consequence.
Now let’s address the money without romance poisoning your judgment. Being broke isn’t the red flag staying broke while being dependent is.

You are subsidizing his life while telling yourself it’s temporary, but there’s no concrete plan, timeline, or demonstrated discipline that proves it will change. Promises without structure are fantasies. And yes, paying 90% while you yourself don’t have much money is not noble it’s self-betrayal dressed up as loyalty.

You’re also lying to yourself about “waiting for the right time.” There is no pause button on relationships. If you stop, you stop. If you stay, you are choosing this version of him, not the hypothetical upgrade you’re hoping for. Love alone does not build a stable future. Competence does. Responsibility does. Consistency does. Right now, he offers affection not leadership, not reliability, not security.

[Author]

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