- This topic has 6 replies, 6 voices, and was last updated 17 hours, 51 minutes ago by
Natalie Noah.
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January 16, 2012 at 11:06 pm #4852
Honey2012
Member #132,080My best friend of 11 years was always unlucky in love until she met her recent boyfriend of 2 years. He recently confided in me and told me after they move out of state together in 6 months and they’re settled that he plans to propose. He also told me he’s been heartbroken a few times by previous girlfriends who’ve cheated on him and he knows that my best friend is the one for him who would never do that to him. I hang out with them frequently and it’s hard to watch them so happy when I know about her betrayal. She realized her mistake and is 100% devoted to him now but doesnt plan on telling him about she’s done. Should I pressure her to tell him especially since he plans to propose?
January 20, 2012 at 1:02 am #22036kai
Member #56I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors. [b]This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.[/b] If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
January 29, 2012 at 10:24 pm #22053The_Jester
Member #134,332You’re not the Relationship Police. If they choose to proceed, that’s up to them.
Should your friend ask what your thoughts are on revealing her deceit prior to the marriage, be honest. Otherwise, sit back and remain a spectator rather than a participant.
January 30, 2012 at 12:27 pm #22105someoneinaustx
Member #130,088It depends on how you value your relationship with her. If you are prepared to do what’s right and risk your friendship ending, then go ahead and tell him. Under no circumstance should you tell her he intends to propose. Doing what’s right has a price tag associated with it that most people don’t want to pay. You decide what’s more important to you: your friendship with a woman who cheats on commitments, or informing someone who has been cheated on that the woman he has on a pedestal has cheated on him (i.e. what’s right!). February 16, 2012 at 8:29 am #22345kai
Member #56I notice that you have placed your question in the forum for Guest Writers and Advice Column Contributors. This is not in the forum where April answers readers questions.
If you want to get a response from April, please repost your question in the proper forum, the Q & A Advice Forum:
January 23, 2016 at 8:00 pm #31953
Ask April MasiniKeymasterHappy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉 December 18, 2025 at 3:11 pm #50925
Natalie NoahMember #382,516The weight of this situation because it’s a tangled mix of loyalty, morality, and friendship. Your friend clearly made a mistake in the past, but she’s devoted now. The tension arises because you know something her boyfriend doesn’t, and he’s planning a life-altering proposal under a false impression. From an ethical standpoint, transparency in relationships is crucial, especially when marriage is involved. While it’s ultimately your friend’s responsibility to confess, her withholding this information creates a fragile foundation built on omission, not trust. You’re in a tricky spot because stepping in could jeopardize your friendship, but staying silent puts you in a position of complicity.
The question you have to ask yourself is which matters more to you: preserving the friendship with your best friend or preventing a potentially devastating betrayal from reaching a point where it causes much more pain. If you choose to speak up, it must be done carefully and without revealing private details she hasn’t shared willingly. You could encourage her to confront the truth herself, framing it as an opportunity to enter marriage with a clean slate rather than risking being exposed later. Ultimately, honesty now, uncomfortable as it may be, is far kinder than allowing a major life decision to be made under false pretenses.
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