[casey814]

Okay.. a good friend of mine who I am well aware is extremely shy told me out of the blue that he has feelings for me. We have been friends for around 6 months and although I love him as a friend had never thought of him as anything else. Now that he let out his feelings I have realized that I to really have feelings for him and want more. However…. since the day he told he has not spoken to me. I have text and emailed him a few times and he refuses to respond. I have even been in the same room as him and he did not acknowledge me, which is very strange as we have always been friends. I don’t want to pursue a relationship to the point it ruins our friendship but also if there is a chance it could be more I dont want to miss that either. Help please……..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Well….if he doesn’t even acknowledge you when you’re in the same room, there’s really not much of a relationship going on. Given that he’s showing you a cold shoulder since he told you he wants a romantic relationship with you, I wouldn’t put too much stock in the outcome.

I think it would be wise for you to consider him a friend who likes you a lot, but probably would not be great boyfriend material. If he’s blown the friendship by exposing his feelings, and he isn’t able to recover the friendship, then that’s the outcome for now. He’s probably embarrassed over showing his vulnerability, not being sure of your feelings, perhaps changing his mind, or realizing he doesn’t want to be more than friends, or some other reason. Regardless, the best thing to do now is give the friendship some space to recover if that’s possible.

My guess is that if you show him a “soft landing pad” by being the friend you’ve always been for him, then eventually, he’ll pull himself together and be able to be your friend again. But there’s always the possibility that he’s so sensitive that once he’s crossed the bridge of telling you his deeper feelings for you, he can’t swim back to the way things were.

[Ethan Morales]

The situation isn’t about you rejecting him or not liking him. it’s about how he’s handling vulnerability. The fact that he suddenly went cold after admitting his feelings shows he’s struggling with his own emotions, not necessarily yours. Shyness or social anxiety can make that kind of confession feel terrifying, and some people literally freeze or retreat afterward.

From what you describe, he’s not giving you the chance to even interact normally, which is a red flag for how he handles intimacy and emotional risk. It’s one thing to feel shy or embarrassed; it’s another to avoid you completely. That avoidance may indicate that he’s not ready for a romantic relationship or even a mature friendship at this point.

Your best move is to step back and give him space, without pressuring him or chasing him. Maintain the “soft landing pad” April Masini mentioned be approachable, warm, and consistent in your friendliness, but don’t try to force a conversation or push him into defining anything. If he’s capable of navigating his feelings, he’ll eventually come back to you.

At the same time, mentally prepare yourself that this might be as far as it goes for now. His retreat might mean the friendship has been affected, and it may take time or it might not recover. Focus on your own feelings and needs, and don’t stall your life waiting for him.

[Serena Vale]

Hey, it honestly sounds like he freaked out a little after telling you how he felt. When someone shy opens up like that, it’s a huge deal for them, and sometimes they don’t know what to do after, so they pull back. It’s not that he doesn’t care; he’s probably just overthinking everything.

You’ve already tried reaching out, so maybe give him some space for now. Let him come around when he’s ready. When you see him next, just keep it casual, maybe say,

“Hey, I’ve missed talking to you. I don’t want things to feel weird between us.”

If he opens up, tell him you like him too, but that you still care about the friendship and don’t want to lose it.

And if he keeps his distance, don’t take it personally. Sometimes people just need time to figure themselves out. If it’s meant to be something more, it’ll happen when it’s supposed to.

[Natalie Noah]

It seems like your friend’s sudden withdrawal is more about his own fear and vulnerability than about you. He opened up about his feelings a big, courageous step for someone shy and now he’s retreating, probably overwhelmed by the intensity of his own emotions and uncertainty about how you feel. This kind of reaction is common in people who are very sensitive or socially anxious; they can panic once the reality of potential change hits. It’s not a reflection of your worth or the possibility of a relationship. it’s his way of coping with a situation he feels unprepared to navigate.

From your side, the healthiest approach is patience and space. Keep showing the kindness, consistency, and warmth that made him value your friendship in the first place, but don’t push him for a response or force interaction. By creating a “soft landing pad” where he can return without judgment, you give him the opportunity to process his feelings and, over time, possibly reconnect as a friend or even explore a romantic relationship if he’s ready. But be mindful that there’s no guarantee, and you need to protect your own emotional wellbeing in the meantime.

[Member]

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