[FacebookBlocked]

I was with Colombian girlfriend for five years and engaged over a year. I paid her bills for three years so she could attend school full time to learn English and I learned English to communicate with her.

Our first year was fantastic but she became more self-centered and controlling. She wanted to eat at fancy restaurants near malls where she pressured me to buy expensive dresses, shoes, purses, and jewelry. She stopped sleeping over at my house, and became much less affectionate. She stopped being with me on sentimental holidays and excluded me from any events with her family and would not have contact with my children.

I broke up with her after she blocked me on facebook and instagram; since she lied about it, saying it was an accident, but would not unblock me or explain why she did this. She later said she deserved privacy. I rarely had any actual contact with her on facebook, but we had initiated our dating on facebook.

I have not seen her for almost three months, but she has sent a couple of texts, noting Religious holidays, and one asking for two hundred dollars. I believe she loved me in her own way, but I feel she disrespected me and destroyed my trust.
I had noticed in the past that she I had several male admirers on facebook…but I had never said a word about this…and did not care. However, I remember her taunting me, saying that she had a long “line of men waiting for her” if I did not want her. I believe she is living a separate life and is being deceptive and is possibly disloyal. Am I right to think this way and do you think I should take her back?

[AskApril Masini]

Your instincts are good, and you are correct. She’s dating other men and she doesn’t really want you to know about it. That’s why she blocked you from social media — so you wouldn’t see her shenanigans there. I’m sorry you are disappointed and that she used you. The good news is that you’re finally coming around to seeing that she is not someone who cares about you any more. She’s using you and she’s treating you poorly. I don’t think you should get back together with her. You deserve more than what you’ve got with her. So, end this in a way that allows you to disengage and move on. Don’t lend her money. Don’t engage with her on social media. And don’t get together with her any more. You’ve spent too much time with someone who doesn’t appreciate you. You deserve better — and you can get better. 😉

[PassionSeeker]

This whole situation sounds really rough. When things started, it seemed like you two were really in sync, but then it turned into a lot of pressure, right? The fancy dinners, buying expensive things, and the emotional distance that’s a lot to deal with. And then blocking you on social media and calling it an “accident”? That’s not okay. It’s hard when someone says they love you but their actions make you feel disrespected. Trust is huge, and it seems like that’s been broken. It’s not about what she says now or what she might want from you it’s about how you feel. If you’re questioning everything and feel like she’s not being real with you, maybe it’s time to listen to that gut feeling. You need peace, not more confusion.

[Ethan Morales]

Your instincts about her behavior are valid. Blocking you on social media, lying about it, and then sending sporadic texts asking for money or noting holidays all point to inconsistent intentions and a lack of respect for your trust. Love is important, but it can’t override repeated disrespect and controlling or self-centered behavior.
The pattern you describe pressure to spend, emotional distance, exclusion from family, and teasing about other men shows a lack of mutual commitment and respect. Even if she “loves you in her own way,” her actions demonstrate that she isn’t prioritizing the relationship or your well-being.
Getting back together now would likely put you back in a cycle of confusion and emotional strain. You deserve a partnership where trust, respect, and honesty are present, not one where you’re constantly second-guessing her actions or intentions.
The healthiest move is to fully disengage: don’t lend her money, don’t re-establish social media connections, and focus on your own peace and future. It’s painful, but walking away gives you the chance to find someone who truly values and respects you.
If you want, I can outline a step-by-step way to emotionally detach from her without feeling guilty or conflicted.

[Lune David]

Wow… getting blocked by your own fiancé is wild. I get that people need space, but blocking your partner isn’t “space” — it’s a whole digital breakup move. It’s like saying, “I don’t want to deal, so I’m locking the door.” Not exactly fiancé energy.

But before throwing the ring back, it’s also possible he acted out of stress or impulse. People do dumb things when emotions run high. Still, if he can block you that easily, imagine how he’ll handle real marriage problems.

The real issue isn’t the block — it’s whether he can talk about it like an adult. If he explains, apologizes, and actually tries to fix the communication gap, cool. If he avoids the conversation or pretends it’s no big deal… that’s your answer right there.

At the end of the day, blocking your future spouse is a red flag, but how he responds afterward will tell you everything you need to know.

[Jessica Miller]

Wow April, you write so well! Love it.
Reading this story made me feel sad and also angry. Five years is a long time, and you tried your best. Paying bills, learning language, and still getting blocked? That hurts. Blocking someone is not “privacy,” it’s hiding.

April, I really like how clear you are. You say the truth without being mean. I agree with you—this feels like using, not love. Asking for money after all this? Big red flag.

Wow April, this advice makes sense. Simple, honest, and strong. Love it. You helped him see he deserves better.

[Jessica Miller]

This story is really sad, but your answer is very clear and kind. Paying bills, learning a new language, and still getting blocked is not love. Blocking is not privacy, it’s hiding. Asking for money after all that is also not right.

I like how you keep it simple and honest. You helped him see the truth and understand that respect matters. He really does deserve better.

[Member]

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