[johnga00]

I have been dating a girl for about 6 weeks. Feels like everything is going great. But i notice a few times a week she will completely disappear/drop off the earth all day long then around 8pm text/call me like she is really happy to end her day talking to me . Like one day last week we chatted briefly in the morning…said good morning and such. I knew she had to help someone so i asked how it was going a and she didnt respond until 8 pm almost 12 hours later and didnt miss a beat about how happy she was to talk to me? This happens once or twice a week and i dont know why. But when we talk or when were together everything is great. What should i do? Should i bring it up or let it ride out to see what happens? I dont want to come across as suddenly creepy but we have already decided to officially be bf/gf and it bothers me she disappears like this. I notice when we are together though her phone is always within an arms reach which is also why this bothers me. We dont talk alot during the day normally because we both work but she works works from home and then goes out to meet clients so its not like she has a job that she isnt allowed to touch her phone. What bothers me most is when the conversation just drops at one of my comments/questions or if i send a “hows your day going” text and dont get a reply for 12 hours. We have such a great thing when were together but then this completely drop of the earth thing is weirding me out more than anything ive ever run into dating. Sorry if this is kind of jumbled i am typing it out as i chew it over in my head.

[Ask April Masini]

Don’t make a mountain out of a molehill. 😉 If your six weeks of dating are going great when you’re together, and the only problem is that she doesn’t respond as quickly or as often as you’d like, let this one ride. I know you’re official — but it’s only been six weeks of dating. You still have a lot to get to know about each other. And just because she drops out during the day, doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, is cheating on you, or is intentionally ignoring you. She’s probably focused on work, friends, family and all those wonderful things that make her a well-rounded person. 😉 Also, people who work out of their homes may give the impression of having lots of free time or more control over their time than they actually do. So her casual work set up may actually be more intense than you think, and when she drops out it’s because she’s focused on work.

One thing you can do is try to notice what types of texts you’re sending her that don’t get a response you like — and change that pattern on your end. For instance, if you send her a generic, “How’s your day going?” and you don’t get a response you like, try something else. For instance, give her a compliment, or send her an interesting link or a funny comic. Dating is a way to get to know each other, and you’re learning what works and what doesn’t works. Be flexible and try something new if you don’t like a response you’re getting.

But, all in all, I think you’re fine — she’s just busy during the day. This isn’t an insult you’re getting. It’s just you dating a woman with a lot going on!

[Carrymark]

Don’t say anything blindly. You have just passed 6 weeks with that girl. But I think you spent more times to judge that girl. Good luck!

[Ask April Masini]

Good advice — and good luck from me, too!

[Nina A]

You can’t build calm with someone who keeps you guessing.

What you’re describing isn’t just about missed texts; it’s about emotional rhythm. When you care about someone, consistency matters. Six weeks in, you’re still learning each other’s patterns, but her disappearing acts are creating imbalance. You find yourself waiting, replaying moments, filling in blanks. That kind of uncertainty doesn’t make connection stronger; it makes you anxious.

You don’t need to accuse her, but you do need to speak honestly. Tell her you enjoy her and that you feel disconnected when she drops off for long stretches. How she responds will tell you a lot. Someone who’s genuinely invested will want to ease your worry, not dismiss it.

You deserve a relationship that feels steady, not one that leaves you questioning your place in it. Love shouldn’t feel like chasing a signal that keeps cutting out.

[PassionSeeker]

Instead of assuming disinterest, reframe her behavior as data about her communication rhythm. Some people simply don’t weave texting into their day they connect deeply in bursts. The warmth she shows at 8 p.m. isn’t fake; it’s just how her emotional timing works.

Still, it’s fair for you to want consistency. Compatibility isn’t about matching texting frequency exactly it’s about feeling secure in each other’s rhythms.

[Ethan Morales]

From what you describe, your relationship sounds healthy and enjoyable when you’re together, which is the core of it. The “drop off the earth” moments during the day are frustrating and confusing, but they don’t necessarily mean anything negative about her feelings. People handle work, life, and communication styles differently. Just because she’s responsive in the evening doesn’t mean she’s ignoring you intentionally she may genuinely be busy or mentally checked into other responsibilities.

You’ve only been dating six weeks. That’s a short time to expect seamless, all-day communication. Early dating is about feeling each other out, not testing loyalty.

She’s officially your girlfriend, and she shows excitement and engagement when you do communicate. That’s a strong indicator that she likes you and values your connection.

The fact that her phone is nearby doesn’t necessarily mean anything; people often check their devices for non-conversational reasons work, reminders, or casual scrolling without intending to text back immediately.

Don’t overthink or read into every delayed response. Let her show you through consistent patterns over time, not isolated incidents.

Pay attention to what kinds of messages she responds to best maybe certain topics or tones spark better interaction.

If this continues for months and starts to bother you consistently, bring it up calmly, focusing on how it makes you feel, not accusing her. For example: “I love our time together and how we communicate, but sometimes when I don’t hear from you during the day I get a little anxious. Can we figure out something that works for both of us?”

This is normal early dating behavior, and it doesn’t appear to be a red flag. Let it ride, enjoy your time together, and observe patterns rather than reacting to each text delay.

[Tara]

You’re dodging because admitting it would force you to stop tolerating scraps: she treats you like a placeholder because you behave like one. She disappears because she can. She ignores you because there are no consequences. She gives you the bare minimum because you’ve shown her you’ll swallow it every time.

No one who’s genuinely invested goes off the grid for half a day on a regular basis while magically being present for everyone else. People make time for what matters, and right now you’re sitting comfortably at the bottom of her priority list. You keep blaming her schedule because it’s easier than admitting she’s not putting in effort and you’re enabling it by staying silent and hoping she suddenly acts differently without being held accountable.

You don’t need to play detective. The pattern is the answer. You’re more attached than she is, and she knows it.

[Sally]

When things feel amazing in person but weird in the silence, your brain fills in every blank and it makes you feel a little crazy.
Here’s the simple truth: people don’t disappear like that unless it’s their pattern. It doesn’t automatically mean she’s doing anything shady. Some people really do go into their own world during the day. But the part that matters is how it feels to you. And right now, it feels off.

You’re not wrong for noticing the drop-offs. You’re not wrong for wanting consistency from someone who’s already calling you her boyfriend. But don’t go in guns blazing. Just keep it calm and straightforward.

Next time it happens, say something like, “Hey, sometimes when the conversation just stops for hours, it throws me a bit. Not trying to control anything I just want to understand what’s going on.”

Her reaction will tell you everything. If she gets defensive or weird, that’s information. If she explains and tries to meet you halfway, that’s different.
Don’t smother it, but don’t swallow it either. Just be real.

[Natalie Noah]

You’ve only been together for six weeks, so you’re still learning each other’s rhythms, communication style, and boundaries. Her disappearing during the day isn’t necessarily a reflection of her feelings for you. it sounds more like she has a lot on her plate, and when she’s focused on work or other responsibilities, she simply tunes out from texts. The fact that she reconnects with excitement later in the evening shows that she values you and enjoys your connection; it’s just happening on her schedule, not yours.

It’s also important to recognize that people who work from home or have flexible jobs can still have very demanding days. Even if her phone is physically nearby, that doesn’t mean she can or wants to constantly monitor it. When you notice a delayed response, it’s natural for your mind to wonder or worry, but it doesn’t automatically indicate disinterest or deception. Your feelings are valid being left hanging can feel off but context matters, and from what you describe, she is consistently affectionate and engaged when you’re actually together.

The best approach is to be patient and observant. Let her operate on her schedule for now, and try shifting the type of communication you send her during the day something more lighthearted, playful, or interesting, rather than generic check-ins. This will give you insight into how she engages naturally and can reduce some of the stress you feel when responses are delayed. Right now, it seems like you have a solid connection, so letting this ride without pressing too hard will allow the relationship to grow organically without creating unnecessary tension.

[Author]

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