[MindEverywhere]

Hi April (and anyone else who may weigh in). I’ve asked this around recently and it’s been hard to get a response that really answers both sides of my question, so here’s hoping… and sorry if this takes a little too much explaining.

I’m 20 years old, and I haven’t had a girlfriend in about 18 months. This wasn’t a major issue for me, until this past September, when it became a big one. I started my second year of college, and in two of the classes I took for that first semester, my course shared with another course, and one of the people in that other course, was easily, the most perfect girl I have ever seen. If you had asked me to describe my dream girl before I ever saw her, I basically would have described her to a tee – so naturally, it was a bit of a shock to the system to see this girl literally walk into the room and sit just a few feet away from me.

Unfortunately I’m a relatively shy guy, and though I’m generally able to converse with women, I have a massive mental block about approaching a group of people I don’t know, and this girl was always with her friends. The course she’s on is extremely male dominated (in fact I believe she’s the only girl), so naturally her group of 3 or 4 friends were all guys – and for all I knew she could have been dating one of them, so I wasn’t able to muster up the courage to speak to her. I lived in hope that one day she’d be the only one of them to turn up to a class, but it never happened.

I assumed that after the Winter break, I’d have more classes with her for this semester, but, I don’t, nor have I seen her around the building that the department both of our courses are under uses for roughly 95% of it’s classes. I spent the last month and a half kicking myself for not taking a step and just approaching her, and assumed that I had lost out on what very well could be my dream girl, leaving me with no knowledge of her other than her first name, what she looked like, and what she was studying, as I’d never had a chance to get to know her.

A few days ago her picture popped up on my Facebook, under the “People you might know” section. I clicked her profile, obviously recognizing her face, and found that she was single… recently single. So for the last few days now, I’ve been battling with myself over two points; 1) would it be really weird for me, as someone who she’s probably only marginally aware even exists, to send her a message telling her how I felt about her, and 2) even if I did, is it really wise to do that considering she’s maybe a week or two out of a relationship?

The last thing I want is for her to think I’m some weirdo who’s messaging her, believing that she’s vulnerable and that I might be able to exploit that, or freak her out that some guy she was in a class with for four months and never spoke to is now telling her that he hasn’t been able to stop kicking himself for not at least trying in person when he could have – as that really isn’t the case at all. I legitimately want to be a part of her life, and see if she really is who I think she could be… but really… I’m just scared that I’ll scare her off, since I have no other way of contacting her.

What should I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

If you let your fear keep you from taking a risk (with a relatively low downside), you’ll never have greatness in your life. It’s okay to be afraid of rejection, but it’s a big mistake to let your feelings guide your behavior. So my advice is to try and get to know her.

Facebook is one way to connect, but an in person winning smile with a short, sweet conversation is even better! 😉 You should read Date Out of Your League, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] because it’s going to give you all the tools you need for winning her over. Get the book and read it, then let me know if it helps (I’m QUITE sure it will!). 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Anonymous]

Shy guy, send her a message at least if she shoots you down its not to your face, and you have a relatively low chance of running into her on a daily basis right now. SO GO FOR IT!!!!!!! My hubby is the shy quiet type and I am the opposite, if I wouldn’t have put SIGNS up saying I was interested and knew he was too, it would have been a complete miss.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[b]CHIC Chick[/b] has the right idea. You wouldn’t want to miss out on someone who could be an important part of your life because you’re too fearful to ask her out. Go for it! 😀

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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