[jlin44]

Hello,

So I met a guy a couple of months ago. He was very sweet and charming and he pursued me strongly. He called me and text messaged me several times a day. He really liked me and I really liked him as well. He’s in the military. He’s going to Afghanistan soon and will be gone for a year. He brought up commitment and I told him I would be ready whenever he was. He seemed to like me sooo much but would always bring up the fact he was deploying soon and wasn’t sure what he wanted to do. Now all of a sudden the phone calls and text messages have stopped. He text me one night recently saying that he hasn’t forgotten about me but that was it. I don’t understand how we went from talking everyday and in the process of forming a good relationship to not talking at all…is there something I’ve done wrong here? I don’t understand or could it be he just wants to detach from me before he leaves? I don’t understand what I did wrong! Please help!

[Anonymous]

More than likely he’s seeing someone else. The attention that he was giving you is now given to her.

[Ask April Masini]

You haven’t done anything wrong. He’s getting ready for deployment, and everyone does this in their own way. Sometimes people will move to strengthen commitments when there’s going to be a separation. Other times people will cut them off when there is going to be a separation. Your boyfriend is cutting off because he doesn’t want to hurt himself or you knowing he will be unavailable to you for a year while he’s in Afghanistan.

Respect his decision. Be sad and miss him, and send him letters and little gifts that don’t pressure him, but that let him know you’re thinking about him while he’s serving the country and away from you.

I hope that helps.

[Author]

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