[Anonymous]

I have ED from a radical prostatectomy. My current friend whom I have been going out with for a couple of months is disappointed because I cannot find the correct stimulus and medication for a complete erection. I have been able to satisfy her with foreplay with multiple orgasms for her. I have asked for her help with my problem. She has given me NO hand manipulation and a 20 second blow job with no desired effects. Another medication that kind of worked needs more than one try and she didn’t care. She has a friend that came into town that gave her a STD in May (last time he was in town) but claims that he is clean and currently has only one other sexual partner. He likes anal sex with this other female partner. My friend met this guy and did it in the parking lot while waiting for her son to get off work. I feel that the act with the partner was disgusting. My friend claims she is a free spirit and I should just shut up and quit making her feel so bad by saying the whole think is disgusting and telling her she has no respect for her body. So, is she a slut, or am I a prude? We are both older people. She is in her 40’s and I am in my 50’s.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’re putting the horse before the cart! You’re focusing on sex before you have a meaningful relationship. The woman you’ve been dating for a few months isn’t sympathetic to your erectile dysfunction and is sleeping with other men at the same time she is you. She doesn’t seem like a good partner for you! 😕

Lots of men have erectile dysfunction and it’s a condition that requires sensitivity and tenacity to accommodate. You don’t have that from this woman, so my suggestion is that you start looking for a relationship that is with someone who’s got a great character, a deep sense of loyalty and sophistication, and someone who is interested in YOU, not just her own sex life!

Once you have the right partner, then you can deal with your sex life, but for now, you’re with the wrong woman and wishing she’d be someone she’s not. Time for you to start dating again, and look for someone who’s Ms. Right! 😉

I hope this helps — let me know how things go. And I hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

I agree on the relationship first advice. I need to add to this story. This lady on the first time she was over at my house complained of shoulder pain and while doing a massage states “this sort of thing should be done in the bedroom”. I was more than surprised (being an old farm boy), but followed her into the bedroom where she became naked. Not having sex for many years I was a bit overcome by the desire and didn’t think every thing out. When I inquired about a relationship, becoming boyfriend/girlfriend she got very mad a told me she didn’t want any relationships and I was not her boyfriend, I was not even a “together” person to her.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have to let go of your anger at this woman — it’s not serving you. 😳 It’s very understandable that you got swept away by desire after not having sex for a couple of years and then finding her naked in your bedroom — but things didn’t go very well with her, and it’s not your fault or hers. She isn’t the right person for you and you know it. Now let that go and move on and find someone who is! 😉

Read my book for men called Date Out of Your League [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url] and you’ll have a great, optimistic outlook on dating — and success as well. 😀

I also hope you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter (no dot!) and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Member]

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