The best way to get our of any rut or routine, whether it’s casual sex or something else, is to change your own behavior. It’s the one thing you have control over.
In college, it’s really easy to fall into the trap of “hanging out” which after a few beers leads to spending the night. The way to get out of this routine, or rut, is to not hang out. When a guy asks you to just hang out, don’t do it. If he likes you enough to continue to pursue you after that, he’ll try to ask you to do different things, like see a movie or grab a pizza. You don’t have to go back to his room with him, and you don’t have to invite him into yours. You get to call the shots, when you understand that “no” is part of your vocabulary.
If you want to find out which of these guys you’ve been seeing really wants to date you, and see you even if sex is not on the menu for the evening, next time he asks you to hang out, tell him, “Thanks for the offer, but I’m not into hanging out any more. If you want to invite me to do something else outside the dorms, I’d love to!” And leave it that.
Most college guys are having the freedom to have sex without living in their parents’ homes for the first time in their life, so they may have a tendency to go a little sex crazy and focus on that. They have high sex drives at this time in their lives, and so if you’re ready and willing, they’re there! The trick for you is to let them know you’re not into casual sex, and the way you do that is to very politely, say no thanks! 🙂
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