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ok so i am starting to fall for this guy there is only one problem but before i get into that im going to explain the situation. so this guy was dating someone close to me yrs ago for a week or 2 then they broke up and he was gone for yrs he came back and they dated for 2days both times she just pushed him aside and was like whatever. however this time she just decided to keep seeing this other guy she was seeing while dating him she brushed it off like it was nothing and hes a good guy i got closer to him these past few days we sat down and had long conversations on how relationships should be and about lying and the things we want in life and it felt good to talk to someone on my level and i have 2 kids and he does really good with them but heres the real dilemma it was my sister he dated even though they didnt date long my sister is the type to get mad out of spite not cuz she wanted to be with him or anything of the sort. I dont know how she would take it he told me he likes me I told him my sister wouldnt be happy to even hear something like that like i said not cause she even wants anything to do with him like that. But I cant stop thinking bout him and I just dont know what to do. I dont want to make my sister mad not sure she would but its a 50 50 chance and I dont even want to bring it up to her in fear of the bad side. I thought of him bringing it up to her and not mentioning he even told me how he feels but even that i am unsure of and I know there is a code between sisters but they didnt date that long and she didnt want him. I am so utterly confused. help!!!!

[Ask April Masini]

I think there’s an elephant in the room that you’re ignoring: From what you wrote to me, this guy has never even asked you out on a date. 😯

Since you’re a single mother, you really have to be careful about your dating life. Your kids have to come first, and any relationship you get into has to be a good one not just for you, but for your family. You don’t want to start bringing guys into your life who aren’t good candidates for you, and it sounds like this guy is pretty confused about his feelings for your sister. It probably wasn’t a great idea for you to be his counsel on their relationship, and from what you wrote, it sounds like you’re just falling for Mr. Right Now.

My advice is to let go and see if he works out his feelings for your sister. She may not be that into him, but he is clearly into her. Her rejection has him confused. Let him be. He’ll figure out his feelings and if he wants to ask you out after he’s completely gotten over her rejection, and he sees you as the woman who is the grand prize for him, and you think he’s Mr. Right, then and only then, is it okay to date him. But right now, it really feels like a default situation and that isn’t the right thing for a single mother.

I hope that helps. Please let me know how things go. And follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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