[amzi]

Ok…. here it goes
I’m 24 years of age and I’m seriously worried that I have a sex drive problem eek! lol I have to laugh otherwise I think I’m going to cry… because I honestly don’t what to do with myself haha.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and I’m really finding it hard to get myself in the mood for sex – at this stage of our relationship I am absolutely mortified that this is happening to me haha you would think after 5, 10, 30 years into a relationship gives a person justification for having a low libido – but at my age and after 2 years – boy I don’t know about you – but I’m shocked!! I’ve always loved sex… what is going on?

I’ve been to the doctor and she was quite indignant about the whole thing aspecially when I asked “could it be the side effects of the pill I’m on?” Good grief… you should of seen her face…. she acted like I’d asked her to drink acid or something jeez! haha the rest of that convo is a long story.

Anyways…she gave me a different contraceptive pill which I’ve been on for a month and still… no change
My close friend thinks it’s life stresses that can put you off – but is it???

To be honest… I don’t know what I’m really asking here – all I know is for the past 5 months my sex drive is dwindling and I really don’t what to do or how to go about fixing this predicament I’m in….

any suggestions??? anyone?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You were right to check with your doctor, but if she’s downplaying your problem, see your general practitioner or find a new doctor who is more helpful. Sometimes a low sex drive can be a result of some other physical issue that is easily corrected, so start with a good physical with blood work!

You didn’t mention any stresses, but you’re right — stress takes a tremendous toll on your libido so eliminating stress in your life will help you recover your sex drive.

You should also understand that normal sex lives need maintenance, and you can’t realistically expect your sex life to continue at the same pace and drive for year after year. I’ve written a book to help readers get the X back in their sex life, and I hope you’ll buy it and practice some of the tips in it. It’s called Romantic Date Ideas, and it’s got dates and details designed to get the juices flowing. Here’s the link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url].

Let me know if the book helps, and how you’re doing.

See you @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Anonymous]

Hey April (me again)

Really sorry about the novel.lol.
I really want to thank you for taking the time to respond to my post – I can see you’re a very popular lady and have a lot of people to write back to… so I really do appreciate your efforts.

Funny how you mentioned blood work – because I not long had a blood test and I can’t remember what they said word for word… but it was something like the hormone in my thyroid was slightly low which effects the balance of things and can make me feel lethargic and so forth (which is what I have been experiencing) . I didn’t think at the time to ask whether that had any bearing on my libido but going on by what you suggested I think I will visit another GP and ask about it and get another blood test done – so thank you for the suggestion.

Ah yes, I didn’t mention my stresses because I feel they are (putting in bluntly) quite pathetic. (sigh) I know there’s no such thing as a mid life crisis at the age of 24yrs but I sure feel like I am riding at the back of one – just without the yeehaa at the end of it.

I feel that everyone and everything is stressful in my mind. To be honest, I fear I am my own worst enemy for example: Starting things and never finishing them – Having big expectations/ideas about what I want to accomplish only to find that their sooo big I can’t get my head around starting them – so I just don’t bother at all. But I know the answer to this problem…. I can’t get my head around these things because my swollen head is in the way – the real question is what can you do about it?

This is not including everyday challenges (which I will spare you from) but I’ll just give you one example which brings me back to what I originally wrote to you about which is: My low libido and not fulfilling my partners needs and desires because moi has just zoned out and left the building. Don’t get me wrong it’s not all doom and gloom……. Urm…… just 70 to 80% of it haha.

I kinda lied initially when I wrote to you…. It hasn’t been 5 months. My problem has been going on for almost a year!!! It’s these past 2 months that has been most difficult especially for my partner. Bless his cotton socks…. The poor guy hasn’t seen any action at all – heaven knows why he is still with me. It’s a big ouch! Factor for both of us.

I’m not expecting to you to answer this question I’m just putting it out there so here I go again.

You understand there is a problem (low libido) and logically you know you have to fix it.

But how do you bounce back to your old sexy self when at present you feel comfortable with the way things are? The only thing that is pleasing me at the moment is the companionship of my partner, good food, good drink and the softness of my bed when I go to sleep – that’s it.

Very sad…….. But unfortunately…….. Very true.

P.s. Do you think it’s time to send the men in with white jackets? haha

Amzi

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You have to be willing to do the work in a relationship, and it sounds like you’re making every excuse in the book not to. 😳 You’re also making a joke out of a one year low libido and no sex with your boyfriend of two years in two months, rather than taking seriously the fact that your boyfriend is unfulfilled sexually. If you don’t deal with this problem, you really can’t expect any guy to stick around.

Get the book I suggested in my last post, Romantic Date Ideas, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/romantic-date-ideas.html[/url], read it, and start doing some of the things in it. If you’re not even willing to order a book online that downloads directly to your computer, and read it (lying down!), you really don’t have any hope of being in a relationship.

Decide to make commit to your boyfriend and give him the sex he wants and deserves by doing the work required. 😉

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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