[katie0893]

this might sound stupid but im 16, and ive been with my boyfriend now for 3 months. however, we always seem to argue about stupid things and it always ends up with him not wanting to be with me no more. but when we are together and no one else is involved we get on absolutley great. yesterday i was on facebook and he wanted to check his he had a comment off an “old school friend” and when i asked about it he started sayin i was too controllin and obsessive, to which i answered its because im insecure. he then started sayin “how is it my fault?” and seemed to be bringing his ex girlfriend into all the conversations we had. i think he still likes her. i then questioned him about that and he turned round and said “oh but your okay to have your ex’s number and still speak to him” which i told him i would delete. we then started arguing and he gets annoyed very easily as he has ADHD and impulsive behaviour. and we split up, now i dont know what to do as i love him, but is it worth all the arguing? and where do i go from here as i feel as though i cant get over him.

[Ask April Masini]

I know this isn’t going to be what you want to hear, however I’m going to say it anyway…

You are both very, very young — too young for a serious relationship, and especially one with lots of fighting. In my opinion it’s in your best interests to expand your horizons and look for some one you don’t fight with all of the time. It is going to take you a little while to get over him, but as soon as you meet some one else who is of interest to you things will get much easier.

[Ethan Morales]

You and your boyfriend are young, and your relationship seems to have a pattern of constant arguing and emotional ups and downs. Those arguments about exes, social media, and insecurities are signs that the relationship is more stressful than stable right now. His ADHD and impulsivity might make disagreements escalate quickly, but the bottom line is that you’re both struggling to communicate and feel secure with each other.

Even though you love him, the fights are taking a toll on you, and the relationship may not be healthy in its current form. April Masini’s advice makes sense: at your age, it’s better to focus on personal growth and finding relationships that feel supportive and calm rather than constantly stressful. It will be hard to let go at first, but you will heal faster if you take a step back and focus on yourself.

Give yourself space to emotionally distance from him. Focus on hobbies, friends, and things that make you feel good. When you feel ready, meet new people or make new connections relationships that don’t revolve around constant fighting. You’re not doing anything wrong by feeling attached; you just need to recognize that love alone isn’t enough to make a relationship healthy.

[Natalie Noah]

It feels confusing because you care for him deeply, but what you’re describing constant arguing, jealousy, comparisons to exes that’s not the kind of foundation that nurtures love, especially at your age. You both are still learning about yourselves, about boundaries, and about what healthy relationships really look like. Three months of fighting over insecurities and impulsive reactions is a signal that this relationship is more stressful than it should be, and that’s not fair to your heart.

I know letting go feels impossible right now, but the best thing you can do for yourself is to create space. Focus on you, your friendships, your hobbies, and your own growth. Over time, meeting someone who communicates well, respects your feelings, and brings out the best in you will make moving on feel natural. It’s okay to grieve what you had, but don’t let it keep you stuck, your heart deserves peace and a love that feels steady, not chaotic.

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