[beachxgirl718]

me and this guy have been talking about hanging and hooking up for awhile but I would never follow through and we never hung out. however a few weeks ago we met up and we were drunk and I said I was gonna hookup with him but when it came down to it, I said no. he was pissed and told me he didn’t wanna hook up with me anymore. yesterday we had this convo:

6:36pm
are you just gonna keep ignoring me?
?
?6:39pm
leave me alone lol
?
6:39pm
lol you suck
?
6:39pm
suck me
?
6:40pm
yeahh right you don’t want it
?
6:41pm
i think I do
if its good il prob hit you up to f***
?
6:43pm
so then you should hit me up
?
6:43pm
u think so?

?6:50pm
yes
i do think so
ive been trying
you never hit me up anymore, so you should
?
6:52pm
il hit you up tn if you promise to make up for lasttime and video chat with me now
my cocks out
?
6:54pm
i will make up for last time
im not video chatting. I hate it
?
6:54pm
no deal
?
6:55pm
fine
?
6:56pm
c ya
?
6:56pm
byeee
?
6:57pm
dnt message me anymore
?
6:57pm
okay
?
6:58pm
n remove me as a friend
?
6:58pm
? you’re being stupid. I’m not gonna hit you up anymore. I get that you don’t wanna hookup
?
6:59pm
i wuda tn
?
6:59pm
well so would i, but you don’t wanna unless I video chat
so forget it
im done trying
?
6:59pm
good
?
6:59pm
ok
?
7:00pm
ur mistake
?
7:00pm
no its yours
?
7:00pm
mine?
?
7:00pm
yes
?
7:00pm
ul never get a d*** like this
ever
?
7:01pm
i believe you
listen I was willing to do whatever, but you are not willing unless I video chat
so basically I wanna hookup, you dont. so its fine. no worries
?
7:02pm
ur afriad to video chat
wen I said my cocks out
?
7:02pm
it just doesn’t make me feel comfortable
?
7:02pm
u wudnt touch it last time
so I think your afriad of it
all good
bye
?
7:03pm
lol I’m not afraid of your d***
i just don’t like video chatting, and last time I was drunk and stupid. I wouldn’t keep hitting you up if I was afraid of your d***
?
7:04pm
well you made a mistake last time your making another
ur not getting a 3rd chance bye
?
7:04pm
okay that’s fine

can you please just answer these questions? does he think I’m hott or is he not attracted to me? why doesn’t he wanna hookup with me anymore?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, it’s really hard to tell who is saying what since you didn’t include any attribution. Second of all, in answer to your questions, no, he doesn’t think you’re hot. He thinks you’re possibly available — that’s it. And the reason he doesn’t want to hook up with you any more is because from his point of view, you’re too much trouble.

He isn’t interested in a relationship. He just wants to use someone for sex and then move on. You’re trying to use sex to get an emotional payoff, and he’s on to you. If you just want to be used for sex, which is very sad, then stop giving him a hard time and just have sex with him — clearly I don’t think this is a good idea, but I’m trying to help you understand what’s going on. If you’re looking for a relationship with this guy or for him to care about you, you’ll never get it. If you’re looking for a relationship with a man who WILL care about you, then you should start valuing yourself, and learning what it is that men want and how to get that guy. You can read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], for some hard core help — which is what I strongly recommend for you!

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter.

[beachxgirl718]

so me and this guy always talk about hooking up, but we never have. he tried all last summer to hang out with me and i would never follow through and would always think of excuses because i would get nervous. recently I told him that I don’t just wanna f***, I wanna hang out. he told me that was fine and I said “really?” and he said “yeah its gonna be hard for me cause your sexy but ill control myself the first few times lol” so I said “lol thanks I appreciate it, I’m just not like that you know.” and he said “i honestly wasn’t expecting anything like that at first, maybe just hookup.” but then the other night I was drunk and asked if he wanted to meet up and told him id give him a blow job. we met up and we started hooking up, and he was like “I’m so hard, will you give me head?” and I said “no.” well he was being an ass then and was pissed off. so the next day I apologized and I asked if he would give me another chance and he said “im good, stop texting me its annoying.” and then he told me “u lost your chance, I don’t wanna hang out anymore what don’t you get” and then I asked “is it because you’re not attracted to me, or is it because I wasted your time?” and he hasn’t answered, and he’s been ignoring me. so i waited a week and asked him if he wanted to hang out thurs night and he said “no” so i said “why not” and he said “i dont wanna hookup with you” and i said “oh, why not?” he said “i just dont” so i said “well if you dont wanna hookup with me anymore bc i messed up id feel better, but u make me feel like u never wanted to hookup” and he said “idk” so i said “will u give me a chance in the future” and he said “we’ll see” so i said “can you at least tell me if youre attracted to me or not” and he didnt answer. plus he told me awhile ago that he wouldn’t talk to me if he didn’t think i was hot.

*ALL OF THIS HAPPENED BEFORE THE LAST POST. I’M JUST GIVING YOU THE FULL STORY NOW FROM THE BEGINNING*

can you please answer all of these? did he ever wanna hookup with me? does he think i’m hot? why didnt he answer me when i asked if he was attracted to me? why doesn’t he want to hookup anymore..is it because he is not attracted to me and doesn’t think i’m hott or is it because i’m wasting his time? thank you so much.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Please put all of your posts on this one topic in one string. It’s much easier for everyone (including me!) to follow and chime in when your posts are in one place and chronological. Do this and then I’ll be more than happy to respond! 😀

[kitkat620]

i think it’s quite obvious. he only wants you for sex and he’s playing you. big time.
hold on to what little dignity you have left with this guy and forget him.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

This situation is less about attraction and more about emotional games and frustration. From what you’ve shared, it seems he was interested in hooking up, and he did find you physically attractive he even admitted you were “sexy” and tried to control himself when around you. The problem isn’t that he doesn’t think you’re hot; it’s that he’s frustrated with how unpredictable you’ve been, particularly in situations where he expected a certain outcome and you didn’t follow through. That kind of inconsistency can feel disrespectful or like you’re wasting someone’s time, especially when sex or hooking up was the main goal for him.

The reason he doesn’t want to hook up anymore is likely more about control, frustration, and emotional fatigue than a lack of attraction. When you said yes but then backed out, especially while he was anticipating intimacy, he felt disrespected and probably embarrassed. His mixed signals texts, pressuring for video chat, and bringing up previous incidents show that he’s still emotionally charged about the situation, not that he doesn’t want you physically.

It’s also important to note that the lack of a direct answer when you asked if he found you attractive doesn’t mean he isn’t; it’s likely he didn’t want to engage in that conversation because it could escalate conflict or because he’s already decided he doesn’t want to continue this dynamic with you. Sometimes silence is a boundary: he’s essentially saying, “I’m done trying to make this work under these conditions.”

This is a clear case of mismatched expectations. You wanted connection and flirtation without fully committing to the physical side he wanted, and he wanted sex but got resistance and unpredictability instead. It’s not about your attractiveness or “hotness” it’s about how your actions created frustration for him. The healthiest takeaway here is to recognize your boundaries and his, and to step back if either of you can’t engage respectfully and clearly without pressure or games. This will save you both emotional energy and prevent unnecessary hurt.

[Member]

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